Earthbound Sun
by hennaluv
Summary: Exactly how wrong can things get for a surgical intern? A spate of human deaths result in the Cullens returning to Forks. In so doing, they find a mysterious vampire lurking in the shadows, stalking EB's young. Can Nessie find Jake and save herself?
1. Chapter 1 Addiction

_A/N: Okay. Believe it or not, this was initially meant to be a one shot, but due to my inability to shut up it seems, this has turned into a freaking standalone fic, running parallel with my focal fic APiTW._

_If you're looking for immediate Jessie fluff, I'm afraid you've stumbled on something slightly..._different._ Our smexy Wolf will waltz into our immediate view in chapter BLLAAANK. After that, my full attention is on those two, and those two alone. So, yes, i'll be concentrating on Jacob and Renesmee. A warning though, I bring new meaning to the word 'fluff.' I may test many-a-gagging reflexes. Just a heads up._

_Thanks to pinkpower -an awesome friend I've come to know, who's come to make me realise I have all these one shots just sitting on my laptop, and I feel it's just a waste of my time to not post them up for you guys to have your say, you know? Really, I had no idea fanfiction existed until several months ago… woohoo! I knew I wasn't going crazy for wanting to write and jot down ideas for my fave characters! Any who, it's dedicated to her. ____What a seriously awesome girl and beta. Thanks!_

_I hope you guys like :)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. This fic was __**heavily influenced**__ by an episode of __**Smallville**__ I watched last year. I've forgotten the name of said ep. Sorry. Also, there are parts/lines of Nessie's internal monologue, which are also influenced by Meredith's own, from __**Grey's Anatomy**__._

* * *

_***_

_"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."_

_Edgar Allan Poe_

_***_

_

* * *

_

_In the hospital we see addiction every day. In fact it's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. _

_We get easily addicted to money...alcohol... narcotics... food... sex...even cats apparently._

_I think the hardest part in kicking a habit is feeling the need to kick it. When we know we're addicted to something we shouldn't be, it's then that we realise we have a problem._

_My problem just so happens to be my best friend. But did I really want to go cold turkey on Jacob? Was I ready to give him up? These were answers I already knew at the back of my mind, but simply didn't want to face._

_I mean, we develop addictions for a reason, right? They tell us that we can't live without that one thing. _

_***_

_"_Renesmee, perhaps it's wise for you to go home and wait for Jacob there?"

With my thoughts elsewhere in that moment, absently sanitizing my hands and prepping for surgery, it was then that I was aware of my grandfather standing to my right. It was hard to ignore the concern apparent on his fiercely beautiful features.

I tried to flash him a reassuring smile.

_Today was going to be a good day_, I told myself. I had to believe that. My first time getting to scrub in on a surgery. . .

This was going to be exciting.

"Renesmee?"

"I'm fine, grandda-_ Dr. Cullen_." I replied softly, abruptly remembering he wasn't my grandfather at work. I launched an arm to dry my hands with a sterile towel, silently chastising myself for the slip up despite no one actually being there to hear us. Really, this was me grabbing any chance to avoid the feel of his severe eyes on me, pitying me. "The procedure can take my mind off things..."

And indeed it would. I was going to operate on a seven year old today. Born with a hereditary heart defect. Today was a day he had waited over five years for. Today, I would help him get a new heart.

Carlisle didn't look convinced, his unusual amber eyes so full of understated worry that it actually made me feel irrational guilt. I say irrational, because I haven't done anything. "Nessie, I know you're worried. I wouldn't hold it against you if you chose to wait for him at home-"

Without really thinking about it, I let my eyes briefly scan the empty room before replying. "Granddad, Jacob's a big boy." I said, trying more so to convince myself if anything. Big boy or not, it didn't stop this gnawing feeling inside from boiling over. "I'm sure he can take care of himself."

Even I was surprised at how convincing I sounded for a moment. The words sounded confident as they left my lips, yet why did I feel this gut wrenching, almost painful need to be with him?

It was crazy, and I knew it. I couldn't explain it. In fact, I immediately frowned at the compulsive ache, lingering on the longing to be with him.

As I did this, my grandfather, I noticed, didn't miss a beat and looked at me with his ever kind, yet equally dubious eyes.

Now he definitely wasn't convinced. And to be perfectly honest, I wasn't surprised. In comparison to the rest of my devastatingly beautiful, gloriously immortal family, my inherent human attributes left me in the dust when it came to feigning or convincing anyone belonging to the supernatural. In fact as a child, I grew sceptical of my abilities to do so. So I really don't know why I was trying now.

I inhaled an avaricious lungful, and instantly recoiled, remembering where I was. Working in Seattle's Children's Hospital, occasionally with Carlisle, _my paternal grandfather,_ was an interesting experience for a vampire hybrid. The patent musk of human blood was invariably more overpowering here. With every intake of breath, I could quite literally taste the crimson sweet, saturating the seemingly oppressive air. On an unusually bad day, I merely got irritable and would go to the blood bank during lunch to satiate the beast from with in. If only, to prevent any…er…accidents from ever happening.

So now, I was distantly aware it had been almost a fortnight since I had hunted. I would be okay today. I only ever got irritable. Never tempted. For me, I was simply paranoid.

Throwing the instinctual need to feed aside, I tried to swallow back the uncomfortable ache- a result of my inhaling- and flinched almost reflexively as the strained knot at the back of my throat was beginning to get more difficult to ignore. I wasn't sure whether that was because of the sudden panic- the need to be near him or whether it was simply the thirst. Even so, I wouldn't let the thirst overwhelm me. It was uncomfortable, but always bearable. Right now, not seeing a certain wolf was painfully unbearable.

Without so much as a flinch, granddad too, inhaled loudly.

And then it was times like these; I quietly wondered how my remarkable grandfather coped. After all, I was a halfie. My pain was comparatively diminutive and pathetic in comparison to his own.

He was incredible.

And then I was abruptly aware why he was even here: To stop me from operating. My grandfather wasn't on the surgical ward. After Dartmouth, I decided to specialise and concluded that my destiny lied in Paediatric surgery. Carlisle however, committed his over-two-decades worth of medicine on general practitioning. Under the watchful eyes of more senior doctors, the internship in Seattle allowed me to use what I learned in medical school as well as acquiring much needed clinical skills. Ordering and reviewing labs, performing medical procedures and coordinating patient care were essential components in my clockwork life right now.

In fact, much to Alice's growing impatience and not to mention annoyance, my cancelling many a 'lunch dates' –code for heavy dose of retail therapy- was usually down to work. It was all consuming right now. Indeed it was a decision I made long ago. A time when I feared my feelings for Jake were –are just…wrong. It was an effort to avoid the embarrassment, the absolute heartache, the feeling of putting myself out there, when I knew in my heart he merely cared for me as a good friend should: It was purely a platonic love and through innocent, tender exchanges, he made this fact abundantly clear to me. Embarrassingly so. I was the equivalent of a little sister to him. And did I resent him for that? No. Never. How could I?

He only ever sees the best in me. If he knew I felt the way I did, I was sure he'd feel aghast and mildly disturbed. And that agonizing thought alone, rendered me broken. It would simply be excruciating, unbearable for him to hate me – for him to be physically disgusted with me. So I wouldn't allow that to happen. For years, after my seventh birthday, I kept myself occupied, living my life in the most normal way I could possibly know how. Though, I was again, all too aware of the irrational, uncompromising need to have him in my life -in any way I could have him. That was more than enough for me. He didn't need to know the truth.

Moreover, it was I who had something wrong with me in feeling the way I did. In fact, considering I knew Jacob all my life, I was all too aware that what I felt… it was bordering onto incestuous.

There was no mistaking that.

So when I wasn't on duty at the hospital, I was at my house in Seattle reviewing medicine and health to prepare for rotations the next day and my ultimate licensure exams. I rarely ever had the opportunity to see Jacob. To really see him.

But in this moment... in this moment as I stood beside my grandfather in a crowded, bustling hospital ward, I contemplated his suggestion of going home. I let the gnawing feeling that Jacob might very well be in danger, consume me. For weeks now, they- the pack and my family- were tracking a sadistic nomad back in Forks and I couldn't for the life of me shake this feeling of absolute dread off. I realised then that my scattered mind wasn't going to do Taylor any favors in the OR today. I couldn't lie to myself. My heart was simply elsewhere. And as if he knew where my decadent train of thoughts were ultimately leading me, "Dr. Herald is a fine surgeon with thirty years of experience behind him, Renesmee. World renowned, in fact."

I looked up, listening but not really hearing.

"Taylor's in good hands." He continued.

I knew this, but still, my jaws clenched at the mere thought of walking away from a patient. I'd known the seven year old for few weeks now. However, I also knew it was wrong for me to go in and cut him open. I was conflicted. He needed me. He expects me to be there. But then… I wasn't myself today. Not with Jacob out there with the others, tracking down a manipulative killer. Apparently she was nothing they had ever encountered and it concerned my mother.

I just… every inch of me ached to be there with him right now. It was infuriating sometimes how I couldn't think straight without him. I needed to know he was okay. As unreasonable as I knew it to be, I needed to be with him. Right now, I needed to be in his inviting embrace. To feel his warmth, and the soft cadence of his heart that –as a child- lulled me so welcomingly to my dreams.

I needed that right now.

It didn't take me long to reach a conclusion, albeit a predictable one. "This is so unprofessional." I breathed, taking my scrub cap off despondently. And before I'd even made a conscious decision to do so, I forced myself out the door.

I felt waves of raw, guilt-ridden emotions wash over me at the very idea of premeditated abandonment- for letting Taylor down like this. He was counting on me. But then…I knew worrying about Jacob would have a perpetual affect on my performance in the operating theater today. Indeed, one that would most likely have devastating ramifications- of which I could never forgive myself for. This wasn't fair on Taylor.

"Perhaps." Granddad agreed thoughtfully. There was no difficulty for him in keeping up with me as I made my way to find Taylor's medical history. Of course, I didn't need it. My inhumanly precise memory permitted me to remember things almost instantly, but Dr. Herald needed to be notified of Taylor's drug allergies.

Flicking through the charts, I felt granddad's eyes eye my worryingly. He place a soft hand on my left shoulder. I knew it to be of a warm and comforting gesture, but in that hapless passing moment of a personal exchange shared between two generations of Cullen, the irksome feeling didn't subside.

"You're doing the right thing by walking away today. You're mind is… preoccupied."

A wry breath escaped my lips. _A little too preoccupied..._

"That's understandable."

_Is it?_

"To everyone else, this is only human. You_ are_ only human."

I snorted at that one. _Sure I was..._

Only now was I aware gramps had carefully and ever subtly steered me towards the staff locker room where I was greeted with the faint musk of...what I could only describe as the intermingling of body odour, cheap perfume and…sex?

Inside, I was recoiling. I was recoiling because the suspicious wafts currently a float in the air, I knew, wouldn't go unnoticed by Carlisle. I ignored the awkward realization by scanning the seemingly derelict room and couldn't help briefly wondering why anyone would want to have sex in here...

As I mulled over this, it was then that I understood a fellow first year medical intern tumbled into the locker area from behind us, laughing a little impishly at someone from behind him. With the sudden onslaught of distinctive scents bombarding my senses and momentarily distracting me, both Grandpa and I casually whipped ourselves around to regard whoever it was.

Alex. A colleague of mine, was apparently just about to rip his shirt off. He froze a little belated however, just as he met my smiling face.

I got the impression he thought it was going to be empty.

"Alex?" I heard someone coax from behind, "What are you waiting for? We've only got fifteen minutes!" I recognised that voice all too well and smiled to myself.

Izzy.

Granddad cleared his throat- an attempt to let whoever it was, know they weren't alone unfortunately. I bit back my temporary amusement as I took in his uncomfortable expression. He was senior member of staff after all, who shouldn't be seen condoning such frivolity. Such frivolity exchanged between first year _medical professionals_. With his reaction ridiculously slow, Alex observed both Carlisle and I a little apprehensively before clearing his throat and readjusting his shirt.

"Er…_hey._" He muttered, the awkwardness positively oozing off of him.

"What?" The oblivious voice from earlier, continued. "Who are you talking to?" The voice exclaimed. A tall blonde girl finally became visible to us and walked around him to enter the otherwise engaged room. Not only was Izzy a girl I worked with, but I had actually met her in Dartmouth where we even shared dorm rooms. Her pretty ice-blue eyes met my semi-amused ones and suddenly realization finally hit home. "Oh," She said a little flustered, "_there_ you are!"

I stifled an eye roll. Call it the sceptic in me, but I didn't believe for one minute she was looking for me. Not right now, anyway. That said however, the genuine concern in her eyes made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. "I heard you were leaving?" she continued, completely oblivious to my skepticism. "Is everything okay?"

I processed her words slowly. _Is everything okay?_ How did I want to answer this? Without wanting to lie too much or give anything away either?

"Yeah. I mean… Something's come up." My mind at the moment was simply swimming as I was again, reminded of why I was leaving my patient, why I couldn't think clearly. I didn't even know what Carlisle was planning to say to excuse my absense, so I said very little.

"I hope it's something big, Cullen." Alex drawled dismissively. He settled for slumping on a benched seat situated between the large locker cabinets and continued to smooth out the creases of his scrubs. He couldn't conceal the look of disappointed on his face.

I blinked. Big?

"…Worth it.* He elaborated without looking at me. Being a medical intern had it's ups and downs, I realised after meeting Alex for the first time. I noticed when I first arrived here little over three months ago that there was an undeniable competative edge- a _side_ in medicine I really hadn't anticipated on. "For you to go throwing surgery back in Herald's face, that is…" He continued, completely oblivious as he retrieved his cell phone from the confines of his locker.

I liked how he thought I was throwing everything away for _nothing._ Jacob wasn't nothing. "I'm sure Herald's going to miss you not being here..."

It was hard to ignore the insinuation there, buried beneath the shallow surface. Honestly, I really didn't know what she saw in him. Sometimes, it felt like everything Alex said to me, held some alternate meaning behind it and this grated on me.

"You realise you're walking out of surgery, right?" He finished, fiddling with some buttons on his phone now. I got the impression he slammed his locker for added effect.

It was as if he thought I didn't know this crucial fact, or that I was simply overlooking it. "I'm aware." I replied coolly.

A wry snorting sound found its way out of his lips. _How befitting,_ I thought to myself. For the most part, I tried not to let this idiot get to me.

"Does the chief know?" Izzy asked, ignoring the hard-to-ignore-cool exchange between her boyfriend and I.

I nodded passively, the words not really coming out.

Clearly she realised something was up and so in obvious sympathy, she mimicked my nodding and pulled me into a soft hug. I say pull, when really she tried to haul me over with very little luck. It was only polite to oblige her. Izzy was very motherly when she wanted to be and it seemed physical contact was her way of soothing. "I hope it's nothing serious…" She continued.

"Me too." I said over her shoulder. It was one thing getting home. It was another however, to haul Jake away from the _fun._

She pulled me back then, examining my face. I was sure I was sporting the glowy-anemic look. "Text me, when you get the chance?"

I had to smile at that. "Sure." And then abruptly, I realised something important. "Hey, can you do me a favour and feed the cat whilst I'm gone?"

Merlin was a stray I found and had sort of inadvertently adopted. For weeks now, he was hovering outside my bedroom window refusing to leave. I felt responsible for Merlin. Taking him to Forks and into a house full of vampires would just be awkward. Charlie and Sue weren't cat people either.

She returned my smile, which I only took for as a _yes_ and then turned to regard Carlisle, smiling timidly. For weeks now, I had a sneaking suspicion she was crushing on him, but brushed it aside for now. I didn't think it'd cause any problems in the foreseeable future. Izzy knew he was family. _And married_. Naturally, these factors were indicative and thus equated to him being _out of bounds._

She didn't need to know the small detail of him preferring to drink animal blood on the weekends.

Actually with tepid amusement, I recall her interesting reactions in meeting all the men in my family at one point or another. I remember dad telling me it made her curious for a long time as to how we were all related in the first place. Not when the only physical resemblance I shared was with Edward, _my fraternal twin._

Fraternal twin. That was a creative embellishment on my part. Something I was proud to say I made up on the spot when she had expressed her curiosities out aloud. And she totally believed me.

She'd giggle alot with Jasper- something at the time I thought was his own doing. How wrong I was, once I asked and he simply shrugged. With Emmett, it sounded like her heart was beating the crap out of her senselessly. I blushed_ for_ her that day.

And dad. Dad was another story entirely. She couldn't even look him in the eyes when they first met. Poor thing. When he'd occassionally drop by to see how I was doing, he'd even invite himself into to our dorm room- asking Izzy's permission of course, before plopping himself onto my bed and flitting through my notes. In the first few weeks, I didn't mind this. Not until I realised these visits were leaving a lasting impression on the other girls on the floor. It was because of this, that had to start calling mom to pry him away from this sudden fascination involving my college life.

As if that stopped Edward, however. Now, he would usually do so, unbeknown to mom. Sometimes, late at night- so late in fact, Izzy was usually tucked in bed, and after calling prior to doing so, Edward would effortlessly climb in through my window to hand me a parcel mom had made up for me. I remember thinking I didn't understand why he didn't just use _DHL _like any other parent. But I realised this was just their way of adjusting to what was happening. I just had to be patient with him.

Often, in the first few weeks, even mom joined in on these nightly visits. At the time, I remember feeling I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this.

As if on cue and dragging me out of my turn down nostalgia avenue, both Izzy and Alex quickly began darting out of the room, their pagers buzzing incessently.

"Don't forget to text me!" she called back as she dashed out only to slam her pretty face into the door frame _loudly._

Ouch. I could only imagine how much that hurt.

Indeed, concern now lingering my features, she beat me to what I was about to ask her next. "I'm okay!" she smiled, lifting her arms up- _winningly_ for added effect. I tried not to cringe as I observed her clumsy, receding form catch up to Alex, who was now, already way ahead of her.

Shaking my head, I returned my attention back to Carlisle who didn't really know what to make of that. "How friendly." He smiled after a moment.

That was one word for it.

And then I was aware they were now already clambering up the stairs, joined now by three or four other interns all wanting to answer their pagers first. There was pushing and shoving and despite the marked distance however, it didn't prevent my supernaturally censored hearing to detect their continued conversation.

"Hey, man.." A voice greeted Alex through the hurried clambering steps. "Where's the red-head today? Haven't seen tight ass in a while."

I tried to ignore the rushing feel of blood flooding the blood vessels beneath the surface of my skin -a signature response on my part. One that I thank my mother for every damn day.

"What first year gets a spot in theater so early on in the programme, only to walk away from it?" Alex asked. I thought this was more a rhetorical inquiry, but intermingling voices could be heard in response. Voices I couldn't ignore, despite granddad standing very still beside me.

"Man, her family either buys her the favours or she spends her spare time _doing_ personal favours, if you get what I'm saying." The same voice from the earlier, and thankfully the ignored question answered. Tod, another idiot and amazingly obnoxious first year. There was silence as they continued to tackle each other down, tumbling clumsily. "I mean, c'mon...have you_ seen_ the chick? I mean, really_ seeen_ her?"

"Shut up, Tod." -Izzy.

Alex merely snorted.

"Iz, you get what I'm saying, though, right?" There was an awkward silence, where I was sure Tod expected everyone to agree. "There's _no way_ she could've gotten into Dartmouth- and into the _accelerated programme_ no less, _not _looking the way she does. And then to get a spot at one of the world's leading teaching hospitals?"

"It can happen." Her voice shrugged.

Tod laughed wryly, clearly sceptical. "Based on her own merits alone? _Please._ I smell bull and a whole lotta lube."

Alex choked back what I could only assume to be another snort.

Someone- _Izzy- _made a disgusted noise. "Just...both of you, _shut up._ She's not like that."

"Whatever you say, Iz. She seems to just get her way here..."

"That's _not_ true." She replied indignantly. "And maybe it has something to do with the fact she _actually_ studies."

"_Right_. You mean, getting _personal tutoring?"_ Tod sniggered. I could hear Alex's awkward snigger join in.

Izzy ignored them both and continued walking, her voice wobbling with her strides. "Get over it. You're both just a little on the jealous side. Jealous that a _girl _is beating both your hairy asses in class." There was humour, I noticed, intermingled in her words- as if she enjoyed saying them as much as I did hearing them. "Yep. That's probably it actually. I know how competative you guys can get..."

"Whatever." Alex said. There was no amusement in his voice.

"_FYI,_ I have my regular back, sack and crack, _thank you."_ Tod injected in.

Thankfully, everyone ignored this.

"She can sleep with Herald if she wants. Why would I give a damn about that?"

There was a long, drawn out silence. A silence filled with awkwardness. I noticed their hurried steps momentarily faltered and I couldn't help holding my breath. Through my periphery, I was perturbed slightly but amused nonetheless, to find granddad too, pursing his lips in what I could only discern as his own anticipation for Izzy's explosive reply.

"I wasn't talking about her sleeping with Dr Herald, which _FYI,_ she'd never do." Izzy held each word with forced composure. It would've been mildly boffo to me, had the situation not taken such a bizarre turn. There was no doubting I liked her style though. "I wasn't referring to her sex life at all!"

I think it was safe to say the marked composure _died _alongside her love for Alex.

There was another awkward pause now. "Oh." Was all he could say. "Yeah. I mean, _right."_ I got the distinct feeling that was his attempt at trying to backtrack.

In what I could only imagine to be a sound of complete revulsion- a sound I found I liked when it was directed at Alex, I heard Izzy's footsteps stomp off even further into the distance.

"Iz, wait!" A desperate Alex called after her.

I'll be honest: I can't say I was upset. She could do _way _better.

A part of me did wonder and _hoped_ she wouldn't take it out on Merlin however.

***

Only now had it dawned on me what I was about to do. "Wait. I…I just can't leave him like this. This is what they've been waiting for, for five years, grand-" I took in a greedy lung full, before making the mistake of letting our cover slip. The hospital staff already knew I was an intern, but the new Dr Cullen- who had only recently joined our staffing- was in fact, my uncle. "Dr. Cullen." I finished, correcting myself.

I collapsed into a seat in front of my locker, feeling inexorably drained now.

Though the room was now empty, and the silence was almost deafening, Carlisle and I didn't make a habit of slipping up. As Emmett would lonvingly say, Edward and I were perfectionists bordering onto neuroticism. Even at work.

"I'm sure Taylor is in capable hands. He'll understand."

I wanted to agree. I really did. But the very fact that Dr. Herald had a few good decades before me didn't appease me. Not because I felt I was a far more superior surgeon and Doctor, no. But for the fact that Taylor made me promise I'd be there when he woke up from his eight-hour surgery. Something I knew I had to keep.

Feeling torn in my indecision, I bit my lip. Where was Jasper when you needed him?

I already knew the answer to that. At the Cullen house with the others and attempting to help the wolves track down a succubus I could only describe as a sick, masochistic gladfly. I say masochistic, because apparently she displayed an unruly desire for some of the younger wolves. It was something I, nor my family really understood.

According to those who've previously had the misfortune to cross paths with her, she has an inexplicable aptitude to supply a male –any male- anything he wished to see. According to what my father heard from the thoughts of some of the younger wolves who encountered her, he concluded that apparently she 'senses what men desire most in this world.' Depending on the individual, extracting their wishes from the innermost, veiled depths of their very exposed souls, only to somehow emulate it and seduce them. Effectively, she played with their senses.

What they hear, what they see, and feel apparently. Everything.

So now, as I sat their contemplating on whether to destroy my barely-established-medical-career, I asked myself this very serious question. Can anyone honestly blame me for worrying about Jake? To want to physically see with my own, obsessive eyes, that he was okay?

I didn't think I was being unreasonable here. Just irrational.

After we all travelled back to Forks after this recent worrying development three weeks ago, in order to help the Quileutes, I had to keep repeating the same words over again like a mantra: He'll be fine. He can take care of himself. He'll be fine. He'll be fine.

Indeed, because of this, I felt like every inch of my being was recoiling at the very thought of Jacob being wounded or worse. That was normal, right? To care. You would think so, until I realised, having heard what this killer can do, I wanted Jacob as far away from her as physically possible.

I had to keep telling myself, no. Jake wouldn't fall for her manipulative ways. He was stronger than that.

But…what if he's isn't? I stopped in my tracks for a minute second. It was an unconscious thing, spurred on by that awful thought.

I'm sure granddad noticed, but to the naked, human eye, there wasn't much of a difference.

What if this succubus's powers are stronger? My face screwed up in a mixture of disgust and unadulterated grief at the very thought.

No. He had to be okay. He'd be fine.

But that didn't stop my mind being plagued with impossibly conflicting thoughts. Further still, they elicited all these warring emotions in me. In fact, so overwhelmed was I, with this unbelievable onslaught of worry, I was physically struggling now.

And it was clear now, just how pathetic I was at acting.

At the back of my mind, I knew all too well, in conquering her ill-fated, insensible conquests- her victims if you will, like any other Succubus, she typically drains them of their blood and moves ever graciously onto to her next sordid endeavour. For three weeks now, what was worrying my family- particularly uncle Jasper- was that she hadn't shown herself to us despite the area naturally reeking of us.

Moreover, she hadn't left our territory as yet, and rather worryingly, men have been dropping like flies, left, right and centre. On separate occasions, traumatised passers by, in areas that were clearly marked as reclusive and dissonantly acetic, found their battered, decaying forms. This was another worry. In order for us to remain inconspicuous in our locale, we didn't need this. We were of course, the largest known Coven of vampires in North America. For this Succubus to do this was something -my family felt- grossly unwise and extremely strange for our kind. Jasper continued to theorize- convinced that she wasn't working alone and for this reason, she was confident in 'being leisurely and grossly reckless.'

Quickly, I discarded my navy blue scrubs in favour of a simple, nude coloured dress and black stilettos. At the actual age of ten, I had to remain looking the part of a medical professional. This apparently bizarre situation was only ever amusing to my uncles.

After hurriedly saying my goodbyes, and almost emptying out the entire contents of my locker, I ran to my car. A brilliant flash of lightning momentarily lit up the apparently darkened skies as I opened my 356 Speedster -a ridiculously lavish present I received on my seventh birthday from my godmother- and started the engine as soon as I hopped in.

Not for the first time in fifty-two hours was I aware how ridiculous I was being. Jake had assured me just as I left for work, that both packs were alternating turns in scouring the various perimeters the Succubus' scent was detected. Though this wasn't an unusual thing for the pack to do, there was something different about today.

In the pit of my stomach, I felt an unruly, unkind feeling- like something bad- devastatingly awful was about to happen. For this irrational reason alone, I needed to know Jake was okay. I needed to be with him right now.

I turned a corner and hit the highway. In my perverse haste, the surrounding landscape rushed by in a greenish-grey mesh of brilliantly distorted colours. What was I doing? I left a sick kid just to go and see if Jake was ok -which I knew he was going to be anyway.

This was madness, and I was so very aware of it.

As I stared unseeingly at the blurring tarmac in front of me, I considered this: What exactly would I do after I knew he was okay?

An answer I knew already. I'd smile. Smile, and forbid him to go looking for this thing. She was nothing my family had ever encountered before. And for this very reason, I was deeply disturbed and uncomfortable with the very idea of Jacob looking for her.

No. I wouldn't let him. I'd feign thirst, and make him come hunting with me instead. No. That isn't the brightest thing to do with a psychotic Succubus on the loose. Perhaps feign my usually gruelling period pains that typically forced me to become bed bound for three or four days?

No. He'd see straight through that as I recall rather embarrassingly that he held my bed-ridden hand only two weeks ago. He knew my cycle better than I did.

This was frustrating.

Often -too often- things that start out as just a normal part of your life -at some point- cross the line to an obsessive, compulsive... out of control necessity.

So, I knew exactly what this was, though I didn't want to admit it- not even to myself. Not yet.

My hormonally driven, sexual impulses aside, my warring thoughts were back on this nomadic Succubus…

Grandpa Charlie was having a hard time tracking down the supposed 'wild animal' that was savagely butchering and killing these men- some of whom were happily married, with kids. Not only was my family now convinced, but Jacob and the packs were now alerted with thoughts of something suspicious of the supernatural variety was in effect. Yet, for reasons that confused the family, those few who crossed paths with her and were able to escape, were left dazed and relatively confused.

Even more disturbing was the fact that dad had explained to us that the forensic team from Seattle had noted that each of her victims had actively participated in sexual acts prior to their demise.

This was one sadistic bitch.

Turning the car tightly round a bend, I found myself driving at a reckless speed down the almost concealed Cullen drive. I had no doubt everyone would be home. Granddad would've called to let them know.

Only then did I realise Nahuel too would be home. He had come to visit after attending a seminar on lecturing at the University of Washington. After hearing of this Succubus, he wanted to help. As much as I adored Nahuel being here, it wasn't half annoying when Rosalie would gush over him.

Inwardly recoiling at the possible reasons behind why my godmother's sudden affection for Nahuel were so…potent, I looked up at the dark, tormented sky and couldn't help thinking it corroborated nicely with my mood.

Unsurprisingly, it seemed like the pending storm that had threatened to assault me back in Seattle had stalked me all the way to Forks. The family all resided in Seattle. Only recently, due to this psycho killer, had we been forced to come back to ensure grandpa Charlie's safety and help the Wolves.

Because of my job and my uncanny knack for resembling Edward, I was currently incognito, in the small town of Forks. For a long time I had difficultly pretending to be anything else but his daughter. Once the novelty and humour wore off however, it was a strange, discomforting feeling.

So, excluding myself, the rest of the family, were unable to get off our land for fear of their unchanging faces being recognised by the town. Often, like today- after my forty-hour shift at the hospital, I would travel back and forth, joining my family at the Cullen mansion for updates.

Rather pathetically, I had memorized every crack, dent, and imperfection on the asphalt from Forks to Seattle and vice versa. For three weeks, it had become a regular thing for me to worry for everyone. I knew it was unreasonable to think and worry for them. This was of course, just the one sadistic nomad after all…

So now, it was slightly bizarre for me to be the only one able to leave the house without the risk of being recognised. As I absently pulled into the garage, parking next to the old Volvo mom refused to let dad get rid of, and Jasper's new Ducati, I grew amused in particular by one acquaintance my parents encountered long ago that wouldn't seem to leave me alone.

On occasion when I did choose to walk the streets of Forks, enjoying a light lunch with my gramps, Charlie, prying eyes would always focus on me –the girl who looks rather remarkably, if not shockingly like a boy who lived here long ago…

Sometimes I'd get the impression my dad was quite…infamous with the female towns people in particular.

To combat this problem, I would guise myself as my father's younger sister, particularly to those who, rather intrepidly, chose to stop me in pursuit of fresh gossip and the current happenings of Edward and Bella Cullen. A heavily pregnant lady, Jessica Newton, I noticed, had an inimitable ability to pop out of absolutely nowhere and go out of her way to ask about them.

Setting the car in park, I smiled in amusement at the thought of probing Jessica and her screaming toddler and gathered my things: Patient files, folders, books, laptop…

And stepped out of the car accordingly, only to find a pair of ashen-white hands grip my things before swiping them out from under mine.

***

I handed it all to dad all too willingly and wordlessly we both made our way back to the grand house, which –to my surprise- was empty. I noticed, turning to him, that he looked concerned about something. With my apprehensive thoughts however, came a forced –what-was-meant-to-be-a reassuring smile from him.

Something was definitely wrong.

Allowing my senses to consume me, I couldn't detect any faint movements upstairs or pick up any recent scents. "Where is everyone?" I asked curiously, taking my coat off as I stepped in to the echo-prone ivory foyer. If the others were out looking for this thing, surely Nahuel would be home?

There was a brief pause, as hdad carefully placed my files down on the dining table however, before I heard him sigh quietly. "Dad?" I persisted, struggling to conceal the new panic now. Really, was it even a point doing so with dad?

He was unresponsive for a moment, his back to me.

"Dad, you're scaring me now."

He turned to face me and leant against grandma's antique table. _Unwise,_ I thought, considering she loves that table. His face was unreadable, almost vacant. This wasn't promising. What was going on? "Sorry, sweetheart." He murmured, his voice wrought with quiet… _sympathy?_

"I don't mean to scare you."

I nodded slowly processing everything, yet my curiosity for my family's absence hadn't quite subsided. "They're all…out." He finished somewhat distractedly, in response to my thoughts.

_Yes, well, I _had_ gathered..._

I made my way into the large living room and turned to face him again expectantly. Unconvinced, I didn't fail to notice how distracted and impatient he seemed to be. His cursory responses were simply proof of this. His easily distracted mind appeared to be somewhere else, and his presense with me seemed half-hearted at best.

"I'm sorry."

I didn't need him to apoligise, if he had good reason to worry. An explanation however, would suffice perfectly.

_Out? Out where?_

"There's been another attack, Renesmee." He replied a little reluctantly after what felt like an immeasurable moment.

I held my breath. Who?

With those words, came the overwhelming feeling of something sinking painfully in the pit of my stomach. My stomach lurched. "Another attack." I repeated absently, my voice thick with indifference. I slumped onto the sofa now.

This, was the '_something bad',_ that I felt at the hospital. I was sure of it.

I swallowed back the bile, not realising that my father had come to sit by my side and raised a tender hand to stroke a few quivering curls, tucking them behind my ears. I couldn't even appreciate the simple gesture of affection, depiste knowing he was worrying too. In fact, with my vision now a blur I had the irrefutable urge to be sick now. But inside, I was empty.

_Jacob?_ I thought, a fresh wave of panic consuming me. The voice in my head was but a mere whisper –something I consciously couldn't help.

_My Jacob._

* * *

_Shining- Kristian Leontiou._

_I have absolutely no idea if Dartmouth does an accelerated programme. I've only dipped into the research regarding being a med intern in the U.S..._

_TMI- Too much info. (Incase you didn't know, because I only recently found this out. loll)_

_As I don't get much out of writing fanfiction, other than letting the obvious joy of my imagination run wild with my fave characters, can you please take the time to review my work? I'd much appreciate it._

_:)_


	2. Chapter 2 Rain

Chapter 2- Rain

* * *

***

"I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone."

Edgar Allan Poe

***

"He's fine, Nessie. Jake's fine." My father assured, taking an unnecessary long breath.

Rather selfishly as I knew it to be, I let out a haggard breath of silent respite. Jake was okay. For now, he was fine. With my mind only temporarily at ease, equally, I was now confused and again, fearful as I met my fathers pained eyes. This was someone we knew. His expression shifted slightly in discomfort and I took it as confirmation that it was indeed someone we knew and cared about. As anxious as I was of what the answer might be, I needed to know…

_Who? Dad, please. Who?_

"Quil." He answered reluctantly.

A flicker of lightning briefly lit up the darkened skies behind him at that one word. He watched on wordlessly as my unresposive mind digested it all. Quil? As disgusting as it felt to feel the sheer relief in knowing that Jake was okay, Quil was my friend too. A friend who happened to be a powerful, experienced _shape-shifter._ I knew this Succubus was indeed something they hadn't encountered, but…how? How was this possible?

My tear-glazed eyes, focused on the hardwood floor, not really _seeing._ Taking my chunky heels off, I pulled my bare knees up to my chest and locked my arms around them tightly._ How?_

Then my thoughts were on Claire Young, my childhood best friend. A girl both Quil and I would do anything for. She must be so worried right now, restless with concern, as I would be if it were Jake. That wasn't to say I wasn't worried about Quil.

"Is he going to be ok?" I eventually croaked.

"He'll be fine." Dad answered softly, his clearly attentive eyes not leaving me for a second as he slowly knelt down to sit in front of me now. I let out another sigh of forthright relief. "Leah was there." He continued, as if that was sufficient explanation.

Leah? _Oh_. Aunt Lee was living on campus at Washington U-_ finally _doing what she always wanted to do- finishing her studies and living a productive life _without_ Sam Uley. I can only imagine she was back because Jake needed her. And now of course, as opposed to her male contemporaries, she was the only female Shifter- invulnerable to the apparently unrelenting capabilities this Succubus demonstrated. If this situation wasn't so terrible, I'd be smug alongside aunt Lee.

I nodded thoughtfully for a moment. Wait. Then, why was my family out there? _My family_ being Emmett and Jasper. "The girls thought it was a good idea to help the wolves…" Dad explained sounding unimpressed by the idea –no doubt Mom came up with it, "But your uncles and I didn't feel comfortable sitting at home, waiting for them…" he shrugged.

In that moment of seriousness, I couldn't help laughing. _Seriously?_ "I thought that would make perfect sense considering they'd be resistant to whatever this psycho mother-fucker does…"

My father stifled an eye roll and made a fluid motion, sitting feather-light beside me again on the sofa. "Language, please." He reproached half-heartedly, before burying his face in his hands.

I continued to examine his somewhat unusually tired form. "There's something you're not telling me." I finally concluded.

He let a long moment pass, considering this. "I can assure you there isn't." he muttered, his usually regal voice was muffled as he spoke through his hands.

"Daddy, what's wrong?" I continued, unconvinced. Then a fresh wave of crushing panic assaulted me. "_Oh God_, is it Quil? He's not alright is he?"

"No." He responded, reluctantly stripping his face from his hands. "He's perfectly fine, Renesmee." He paused briefly considering his words, "Well, that's not entirely accurate. He'll be fine. He's on the mend."

My father was never one to lie so overtly about another's well being, so I was naturally appeased by his words of assurance. So if it wasn't Quil, I wasn't sure what else it could be to get my father so…distracted?

I regarded him again, a little sceptically. And much to my increasing impatience, he chose to be unresponsive to my thoughts –something we both felt necessary at times, particularly during my years of adolescent growth. Not quite convinced, I let this go. When Edward didn't want to share, there was practically no way to get it out of him. For now he must've returned to welcome me home from work.

All these things flitted through my mind as I sat in my comfortable foetal position on the sofa, but my stomach had other ideas when it grumbled rather voraciously, disturbing my distracted reveries. There was no way Edward would let me go find Jake. And there was no way Jake could get away from finding this killer. Feeling like a brat, I felt like sobbing.

My stomach growled painfully again. In response, dad's head cocked to the second sound and he frowned. "When was the last time you ate?" he asked, immediately getting up.

I paused to think, and remember my last indulgence in dirt-smelling… food. Feeling like a fool, I blinked spastically at his expectant yet unimpressed face, my mind a blank.

_I honestly can't remember._ I confessed through my thoughts. I had the distinct impression it was a Granola bar sometime last night. He groaned through his teeth, a seemingly grey-blue blur as he darted towards the kitchen.

"Sorry. I've just been so busy getting prepared and doing the research for Taylor's surgery...and then all this… I just haven't really had the time to-"

"Eat? You're _seriously_ trying to tell me you haven't had the time to supply your body with necessary nourishment in order to sustain itself?" he interrupted heatedly. He had a point. I could hear him flitting around in the kitchen –the fridge opening periodically, pots and pans clattering, packages cackling and being ripped open.

"Well, when you put it like that..." I said, burying my face against my knees. My exhaustion aside, I felt like a child again, surprised to hear my voice so invariably small.

I was only vaguely aware of him darting around in the kitchen, yet my thoughts were back on Jake again. He was still out there. And _I _shouldn't be here. I should be out there looking for her as my family was.

"No. Don't even think about it." Dad called out from the kitchen in a rejoinder to my wayward thoughts -almost before they were thought into existence. "You're not going anywhere."

And then it hit me like a tsunami. Now I knew why he was here. He was baby-sitting me.

"And exactly why not?" I asked edgily. If this were true, it was completely unnecessary. This thing was only after men for crying out aloud!

"Because whoever this thing is, it thinks the rules don't apply to her." He replied stiffly, bringing in a plate heaped with home made meatloaf, creamy mashed potatoes, vegetables and a basket of …bread. _Nice._ He placed the plate in front of me to take. "That worries me. She's not like us. So don't even think about it." I took the proffered plate begrudgingly, only too aware of my betraying body's forthright hunger in response to the delicious smell of meat and buttered potato -intoxicating my senses completely. My mouth positively watered as I dug in.

I watched my father's movements guardedly as I continued on my rampage of the plate. And through the said mouthfuls of meatloaf, I observed as he leant against the window wall dialling a familiar number. He turned to narrow his eyes at me, before turning his back on me completely. I don't think he appreciated my spying, I conceded, taking in another devouring mouthful.

The conversation exchanged between he and my mother was one of tension. They still hadn't found her. In the past three weeks, four of her victims were found in their cars… two packs of powerful wolves and a whole coven of experienced Vampires couldn't find this killer. Concentrating on my chewing, if things were this serious, why was granddad joining me in Seattle, working at the hospital?

"He didn't want you alone there."

I looked up to find Edward closing his phone and looking rather disgustedly at my plate full of …now unappealing mixed meat, potato, and veggies. I shrugged. "I like mixing it all up. More flavour that way." I explained.

"Right." He conceded slowly, his voice wrought with silent amusement. "I just want that all finished, please."

I nodded, taking in another fork full, "Sure, sure," I muttered -something Jacob usually did to annoy me. "Are they coming back anytime soon?"

He rolled his eyes with a look of revulsion. "In a while, yes. Your aunts and uncles feel it's unwise to leave us on our own at home."

_You mean leave you here on your own with only me to protect you,_ I thought, unable to stifle a snigger. Without so much as a word, he turned to face the downpour outside, combing the surrounding forest.

_Or is it the other way round? They think you can't keep _me_ safe?_ Haha! That must be like a kick in the las cerezas as Nahuel's baby sister Maya would say. Continuing in my munching, I followed his sturdy gaze. It was still pouring it down. The sound of the falling rain was usually one that soothed me often as a child, but today –knowing Jake and my family were out there looking for this mysterious killer- I just needed to know they were all ok. And here I was stuffing my face…

Dad's head cocked slightly towards me, but I tried to ignore it. "So let me get this straight…" I began, "Some of the wolves have already encountered her and found it difficult to kill her?" I inquired, swallowing hard. He grimaced at the utterly incompetent display of table manners.

I continued to look at his back, as I downed some Redbull, attempting to settle the painful knot in my throat. He said nothing as he continued to lean against the window wall looking even more distracted and engrossed in his musings.

This was something I needed to know. If it was hard for them to kill her, surely it made sense for the women to be out there? After what felt like a long moment had passed: "Dad?" I prodded impatiently.

"Hmm?"

"Answer please."

"Sorry, but I tend to avoid answering questions asked by questioners hurling bits of food my way." He flashed a brief smirk, turning to face me in his leaning.

Childishly I scowled in responce and shoved another heaped forkful into my mouth. Truly, my father's cooking was one of the rare things that got me to eat as indulgently as I did. Largely dependent on what he cooked, the majority of human foods tasted suspisciously like sour dirt to me. It was annoying, repulsive and sometimes even tested my gag reflexes, but usually I got over it, ignoring it completely out of desperate hunger. Beggers can't be choosers. Actually, as we all now resided in seperate houses in Seattle, it was now becoming a customary tradition for me to go round my parents' for Sunday dinner. Edward usually cooked for me and whilst I caught up with mom, took the opportunity to snoop into my mind for any recent developments in my seperate life away from them both.

Nothing much had changed in the past decade since my existence, in the sense that for the majority of the Cullens, protecting me from danger was of the utmost importance to them. Whether that was of direct _physical _threats or merely unpleasant thruths were something they struggled to communicate with me fully. I knew it was their way of sheltering me. It took me a few years to understand exactly why they did this and I even reluctantly came to accept it. When it came to Jake and the pack however, I just didn't have the heart, the patience to play along.

Sighing in quiet resignation alongside listening to my internal mullings, dad turned to regard me again, "Something like that, yes."

I was unsure at first if this was over my thoughts or of the question I had spoken out loud earlier. I suspected it was actually both.

In fact, elaborating further still, my father told me the Succubus had the ability to seduce anyone –something I already knew but to my utter horror, this included the wolves.

Admittedly at the back of my mind, this was something I had already silently concluded upon, but somehow with my father's words came the finality of it all. She fed on her prey's vulnerability and heartache. "That could only work on men." I mused, washing my plate. "What if she was surrounded by women?"

He forced a smile that looked more like a grimace. "I really wouldn't know, Nessie. One would assume her capabilities would be limited. She wouldn't be so prone to get her own way."

_Interesting._

But then there was her apparent fascination with the wolves. This worried me. Her kiss would be fatal to them. "They know what they're doing" he assured me when I showed him my anxieties through projection -an unnecessary ability where my father was concerned, but old habits die-hard.

"Jake's strong." He attempted to soothe. With his words however, I instinctually stiffened at the mere thought of her being anywhere near Jacob -quite the adverse reaction to what my father must've anticipated. "He's not vulnerable in anyway, Nessie…"

The latter of the evening consisted of Edward unreasonably refusing to let me step foot out of the house. Both of us anxiously anticipated our family's arrival. Jacob was another issue all together, however. I say this, because I know my mother and aunts have a less likely chance of getting seduced by the seemingly heterosexual predator. My woes were confirmed when everyone _but_ Jake had come home little after an hour after I had finished eating.

All of my family, including Nahuel were drenched as a result of the downfall outside, but safe. They were okay.

Even granddad came home early from work. With his arrival, I was again aware of the promise I afforded Taylor. I would need to find a way to get to him before he woke up from surgery. But first, I needed to make sure Jacob was okay.

My mom was the last to enter into the house. Edward crossed the room almost immediately, bounding sinuously over to her in three long strides. In fact, in a bid to avoid looking like asphalt after being successfully steamrolled, I had to quickly dive out of the way.

My poor, poor dad. So…_pathetic._

He was waiting and anticipating for her safe arrival, which was most probably why he was so infuriatingly distracted to keep up a conversation with me. I observed as he caressed her blissfully smiling face before bowing his largish head down and kissing her softly. Aww. _Eww._

I looked away, letting them have their moment and silently asked myself why I was watching my parents make out in the first place.

_Jacob._

That's right. Hoping against reason, I felt I needed to _hope_ that she had good news or could at least tell me where he was. He promised me he'd meet me after work and in my ten years of knowing Jacob Black, he never broke a promise.

"You worried about your pet?" A voice asked quietly from behind.

I tore my gaze away from the interesting colours the living room lights produced, refracting off of Emmett's skin, to turn and face Nahuel. He was absolutely drenched in his fitted black shirt and A&F jeans, smiling impishly.

"_Of course _she is." Rosalie teased, walking around us both and handing him a towel. "Personally, I'm just dreading the fact that he's going to stink the place up with the smell of wet dog..."

"Oh. I know what you mean, Rose. Maya has a soft spot for pups too. She actually found a stray a few years ago, and wouldn't let me get rid of it."

"By _getting rid,_ do you mean _eating_ it?" I interrupted unable to choke back my morbid curiosity. Actually I was kind of disgusted at the thought of a _domestic _pet being food, but the revulsion aside I was genuinely curious. "It's just… I hear they eat cats in southern China, Guangzhou - the capital of the south-eastern province of Guangdong to be more precise."

The room fell silent as all curious, questioning, some worried, eyes were focused on me. I ,however, continued to gawk at my mother ever patiently. Totally unrealising and after several awkward passing moments, "Erm… _no." _Nahuel finally replied, a broken laugh buried beneath the surface.

"Good to know." I nodded, "Keeping and cherishing cats and dogs, are considered acts of folly for most humans."

"Nessie, are you okay, darling?"

I turned to look at Rose, concern lingering on her features. I loved her, truly I did, but I think they were all conspiring against me right now. "Not really." I replied quietly.

The waiting was eating away at me, consuming every fibre of my being. Why couldn't anyone understand that?

"Oh, Nessie, stop worrying about Jacob. He'll be back soon."

Before I could reply to Rose's contrived assurance however, "You know, I hear there's a sure fire way to find runaways…" Nahuel interrupted seriously.

Stifling a groan, I waited for the punch line. "I think you should hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone, maybe?"

I sighed in lethargy. This was going to be a long day it seemed and I obviously wasn't going to get any answers. Actually, it was clear now, that they were all stalling.

I felt unequivocally drained. The fifty-two hour shift at the hospital was visibly catching up with my half human physiology -incapable of continuing without rest. Yet equally, I was irrevocably irritated and on edge. This apparent impatience, I knew, stemmed from my absolutely all-consuming need to be with Jacob right now. I just needed to see him.

The rest of the family dispersed little after that, on to do various things in preparation for another thorough combing of the surrounding area.

"I wonder if he has any fleas…" Nahuel mused quietly after several silent minutes of thought.

I loved my friend. Truly I did. And I knew this was him trying to take my mind off of all things Jacob, but how on earth could he think that joking and teasing me about Jacob, when I was plainly worried about him, would somehow placate me?

Rather reluctantly however, I looked up at Nahuel, unable to _not _look questioningly, "Well, the guy _does_ run around in the forest all day, Nessie. It's not hard to imagine he picks up a few bugs on that thick pelt of carpet he calls fur…" he shrugged, "That's just…hmmm."

Only momentary seconds had passed since my aunts and mother entered through the massive front doors. I observed as my parents communicated in their silent way. Occasionally mom would flash me a look of sympathy mingled in with fear. That didn't look promising.

All the while though, I was distantly conscious of Nahuel sitting beside me, staring at _me_ in refined amusement. "I wonder if he chases his own tail when he gets bored."

I chose to not look directly at him though and clenched my jaws shut. Was this really the time to tease me about Jacob? "Nahuel, why don't you do me a favour and go suck on a lemon?"

"Nessie!" Rose reproached lightly from somewhere upstairs. Rather amusingly, I could distantly hear Emmett complaining and telling her to give him some attention now.

Through my peripheral however, Nahuel looked bemused. "Lemon?"

There was no way I could prevent my response: "Yeah. It's bitter." I smirked.

He seemed too deep in thought to say much else, so I went back to waiting patiently for my mother, "_Huh._ Lemons…I wonder if he foams at the mouth too…"

Something in me snapped and before I could make my internal growl audible, Rose decided to join in on the burlesquing –a light hearted attempt to appease my thoughts, I was sure, but it wasn't funny without him here.

"Oh well, Nahuel, I can tell you a few disgusting stories about the d-" I shot her a glare. She sighed in quiet compliance, "_Jacob._ He'll be with you soon enough Nessie. So, I wish you'd stop worrying." My aunt smiled lovingly before turning back to Nahuel. "Nahuel, at the mere mention of food his mouth starts salivating and…-"

The conversation where they began slating Jacob bored me immensely and so I ignored them both and resumed watching my parents continue in sharing their little passionate embrace with a few lingering kisses mingled in amongst the hugging and murmurings of sweet nothings. Actually, looking more closely, Edward had his arms firmly wrapped around mom's small waist, pulling her towards him fiercely. My mother had both hands resting on his chest, her tiny hands gripping his blue shirt with a violent hunger –a hunger I fortunately hadn't seen in a while- as they both mauled each other's faces off. That's when I noticed one of her legs was located rather embarrassingly at an _odd angle_, snaking around dad's…

…as if… as if she was trying to gain some friction.

_Oh God._

Automatically, I tore my eyes away from the offensive sight. A sight I had no doubt _burned _into my retinas for all eternity now. Knowing this was one of many in a compilation I usually kept well away at the back of my mind, usually spurring my many disturbed nights affording sleep, I cleared my throat in a reluctant attempt to break them free.

_Are you really trying to damage me further?_

Edward noticed my gagging, mingled in with unobvious revulsion and unwillingly let go, his breathing haggard.

I inwardly cringed. _It was haggard._

Bella frowned at the loss of contact, her expression amusingly dazed. Quickly, she understood and stared straight at me wordlessly.

Again, I secretly grimaced. This was exactly why I felt like a gooseberry when I lived with them. My parents were still 'newly weds' in the canon world of vampires, after all. This of course meant they struggled to keep their hands off of each other at night -_and the majority of the day for that matter_.

Particularly when they think they're alone, but really their eight-year-old daughter's home from her first year at college, practising her abilities of camouflage after a sparring session with Jasper.

I reflexively cringed at the very accurate memory my preternatural mind decided to protract.

…_of me inadvertently walking in on them going at it…on the dining room table…the very same table I chose to dine on…_

I, of course, had just finished mastering the ability to mimic the abilities of those around me by touch. At the Cullen house in Seattle, where Alice, Jasper, my grandparents and Rose and Emmett resided, I had had a sparring practise session with Jasper and wanted to immediately show my parents what I had accomplished. In the weeks leading up to such a feat, I was growing impatient with my lack of controlling what I could do, so this was a big deal for me.

I knew I was a buzz kill for those two and frankly, what kid wants to see their parents making-out let alone listening to every minute moan, groan and gasps of them making what felt like unending _love_ all night?

Dad cleared his throat, flinching and clearly uncomfortable with this particular train of thought. I ignored this however, and concentrated on keeping my mind occupied and more so on talking to mom, _alone._

Indeed, as much as I love my parents, Dartmouth was certainly my haven for a good three years. And my separate house in Seattle was just an extension of said refuge.

Bella flashed me a painful smile then, the worry intermingled on her face didn't go unnoticed. This didn't appease me. "Mom?"

The separate conversations in the room stopped and the immediate silence was almost deafening.

She looked over at Jasper for a moment, apparently deep in thought. If I wasn't so on edge, I'd be mildly pissed at this apparently collective approach- this patronisingly protective stance they all shared. They were hiding something.

Or… were protecting me from something…

Either way, I couldn't help feeling deceived. There was definitely something they weren't telling me and as much as I loved my family, it was freaking frustrating. My thoughts lingered on the latter concerns, however. "What is it?"

As if to confirm my suspicious, her taught, troubled eyes darted to meet my father's, before meeting my own again. She must've retracted her shield, temporarily permitting him to read her thoughts.

Things must…not be so good if they're silently communicating like this. It was usually a luxury for dad, but in the latter years of my childhood however, I regrettably came to find it was also a form of foreplay for the newly weds.

Realisation finally dawned on me and a crippling wave of dread hit me like a ton of bricks. Could it really be that bad?

"Where's Jake?" I managed to whisper, addressing no one in particular as I tried to manage my breathing and the subsequent trembling that had inadvertently come underway. They were unrelenting.

"Nessie," mom began, her response was hesitant as she took an apprehensive step towards me. Her usually all too-serene voice had a quality of patent guilt. "Jacob's going to be fine. He's just with the others…he'll be here soon." She soothed, her eyes, again I noticed, shifted behind me towards my father and again at Jasper.

Her words of confidence and unsure stance were paradoxical and so I frowned in confusion, unsure of what to make of her explanation. Actually, I was about to question her further on this but then strangely, my eyelids began to grow unexpectedly heavy. I felt the sudden urge to just… _sleep._ With my weighty lids, I turned my seemingly listless attention to Jasper, who was leaning casually against the stairs, a protective arm around Alice, staring straight at me. I shook me head lethargically, my curls reigning havoc as they swayed along to my movements.

"No…" I mumbled, feeling the devastating weight of his effects on me now.

Feeling annoyed at this attack on my physiological bodily functions, I shot him a fierce glare, which I'm sure was as threatening as a rabid fan girl chasing him into a passing cab. So, I wasn't surprised to see my uncle smirk some more . Without physically touching, I let our minds connect on an extrasensory level: _Stop it, _Ithought. I knew it was a pointless endeavour, but I didn't want to go down so feebly.

For one, I didn't want to be placated this way. Only one thing could do that for me and he wasn't here right now. Nor did I want to feel synthetically calm or confident… If anything, I wanted to be more alert than ever.

The next thing I knew however, I was vaguely aware feeling safe and secure against a cold, hard chest -of being cradled in my father's arms as he placed me gently down on the white sofa in the living room.

In my state of almost comatose slumber, my supernatural sense of smell detected my pixie-like aunt's distinctive scent. "She's not going to like this, Jasper." She whispered quietly. I felt her slender fingers brushing against my hair and then my shoes were off.

"I'm just following orders." Her husband replied somewhere in the distance.

I tried frowning, but I honestly wasn't sure whether this was real or not.

The last thing I _think_ I felt before slipping into unconsciousness was my mother's ice-cool touch, her fingers caressing the sides of my face and her reassuring voice telling me to not worry and to sleep.

_Sleep._

This overwhelming surge to simply _succumb _to the welcoming darkness was the last thing lingering in my barely conscious thoughts.

…But I was conscious enough to remain realising that something felt wrong. Something was missing.

_Jacob._

_My Jacob._

* * *

AN- Stand in the Rain -Superchicks. I had this on repeat when I wrote this. God knows why...

Anywho, RnR please peeps! much appreciate it ;)


	3. Chapter 3 Come Clean

Chapter 3- Come Clean

Slightly longer chap. I struggle sometimes trying to section it all out at appropriate places.

Do let me know what you guys think please! I'd really appreciate any feedback. :)

* * *

***

"All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream"

Edgar Allan Poe

***

* * *

The first thing I sensed as I became more aware of my surroundings, was the bleeding warmth of the morning light seeping from somewhere. Somewhere... - I didn't care to know.

A window maybe?

It was this feeling- this feeling of warmth, that made me strangely sentient to the fact my pale skin would no doubt, naturally respond to the sun's caresses with a glow so eerie, I doubted even Marilyn Manson would be impressed.

Indeed, so creepy is this glow, I tended to wear long sleeved tops on my trips out in the sun -particularly in the summer. Sure, people looked at me wierdly, but I chose to ignore the stares.

_Of course,_ when my aunts would frown, I would simply respond by stating the_ glow_ was blatently indicative of something 'strange' and supernatural in me. And if I wanted to remain inconspicuous, then it was my way or the highway.

Often, they preferred the highway.

But I was a _day walker,_ after all. Walking in the sun was something I could get away with, _sure,_ but the 'dazzling' aspect as my mother would on occasion- scratch that, _often_- go on about, worked on overdrive, shall we say. Days when I'd be left to spend on my own, were days when I didn't have uncle Em to creep guys out with his awesomely convinient shots of _threatening_ menace.

So suffice to say, dazzling is a blessing and a curse.

I'm aware it was an aspect of me I should be _all too_ used to. I should be over it. It didn't half make it frustrating when people would simply stare at it, wondering out loud what body lotion I used to get it to look like that, however.

_Humans..._

They don't know how lucky they have it.

Half my face was stuck to what felt like expensive leather.

Prying it off was painful.

I was awake now. No doubt about that. _I felt pain. Pain -more specifically- on the left side of my face. That was a good thing_, I supposed.

And then I realised I was laying on something soft- too soft for it to be my own bed. Quite honestly, I felt like a jackhammer had found me the previous night, and in it's bid to leave a lasting impression, had lovingly left permanent damage to my brain. Because despite being momentarily blinded, my senses were wreaking havoc with me.

For one thing, I heard nothing. Complete silence. This was indicative in the sense that, wherever I was, I was clearly alone right now.

_Strange._

Short of prying my gunk riddled eyes open, it was then, out of boredom, that I even noticed the reddish glow behind my closed eyelids– the teasing light lingering long enough to wake me completely.

Of this, I was fortunate. It was also then that I realised exactly where I was and what had happened the previous night.

And then imediately, with my funky eyes still remaining wired shut, I shot up into a sitting position. My stiff body protested, and I winced, riding through the head rush. My searching hands found something.

My face.

And then I was accutely aware of just how dishevelled my curls were. Undoubtedly aghast now, it felt like they had gotten tangled up in the blades of a combine-harvester. In wonderful knots. Wonderful knots that I knew at the back of my mind, would need at least over thirty minutes of TLC.

Curls. Someone else in this family had_ curls_. Brilliant, perfect _blonde_ curls. Curls that never got this bad.

My brain wracked painfully, remembering the reasons for being half comatose in the first place. And then I growled vehemently under my breath, briefly thinking of ways to _kill_ Jasper.

How long had his effects on me lasted? _Why _would mom ask him to do this?

Reluctantly, I took note of my appearance last night. I didn't have time to really observe my self or my appearance in the mirror, but I could imagine how my previous hours at the hospital must've done wonders for my sporting the _zombie look._ Severely undernourished for two days, I felt embarrassed that my subtle hint of makeup fought a losing battle against the brilliant bags under my eyes. They were the colour best described as ecclesiastical purple.

Regardless, how could they do this to me?? How could uncle Jazz do this to me? And why do my lids_ still_ feel so unbelievably heavy?

Wait.

_What time was it?_

Now swearing under my breath, I shifted slightly, more aware of what I was lying on: an expensive sofa. Sofa? Why wasn't I in my bed back at the cottage? That's where I usually slept when I was back home in Forks…

And then whatever it was, I fell off of it.

With my newfound blindness, I landed awkwardly with a loud _thump_ onto my stomach. And as if right on cue, I heard the sound of what I assumed to be laughter somewhere in the distance. A man's laughter. Below me. Downstair? Was it directed at me?

"_Ow?_" I wheezed, frowning half-heartedly at the offensive hardwood floor. I began massaging my boobs and ribs - now sore from the awkward landing. It wasn't so much that this hurt, more so that my body had responded to it so belatedly that unnerved my sluggish mind. For a hybrid, it was very unusual, very uncharacteristic to do so, and if I were somewhat honest with myself, it was discomforting to know equilibrium was lost on me right now.

I sighed in resignation. Not bothering to stay passive agressive towards the floor, I let my heavy head fall back lifelessly against it- my arms now comfortably rammed under my body, clutching at my boobs.

I lay on the cool surface, my face surprisingly feeling good. Better than the sticky, painful leather. I could stay like this forever and feel quite content.

And then as the feeling of my unconscious dreams slipping away from my grasp became more palpable to me, the bellowing sounds of what I could only assume to be of small birds chirping somewhere in the distance now occupied my inhuman hearing. Hm. Birds chirping first thing in the morning, was...how to put this passively? Ear rape.

Some how, the term _sensory overload_ just didn't quite cut it.

"Ugh." I groaned against the floor. They weren't stopping. To me, it sounded like someone very cruel had all of the world's noise pollution and rolled it into one neat little box, only to place it outside my door. The right side of my face now recieving some much needed floor-time, I turned away from the offensive birds, which by now, I was convinced were actually demon-birds sent to prolong my suffering. Because honestly, how can something so small make so much noise? I ignored them, desperately wanting to savour and hold on to whatever I was dreaming about. It felt more like a distant memory, long forgotten...

In fact, I had this uncanny sense -this vague inkling- it was of something pleasant and real…

_I was a child enjoying the feeling of the wind flirting through my reddish-brown curls. In fact in this dream, the rampant, chaotic swayings were of no importance to this little girl. _

_Me. _

_...And __the blur of my surroundings as I ran. I ran so fast. Swinging, crawling and leaping. Endeavoring__ from tree to tree. _

_I was laughing –the glorious echoes could be heard all around us. In the trees. My surroundings…they were so familiar… _

_I was playing in my parent's meadow. Laughter was all I could here. But it wasn't just my delighted peel of bells, but another's: Beautifully low and distinctly male_…"_Nessie, it doesn't count if you keep cheating like that! You know that, right?"_

_That's when I realised I had someone playing with me._

"_You said on the count of three…and then you said three!" My six-year-old voice hurled back, giggling._

_My parents were lounging on the ground, conversing quietly and occasionally peering my way… but I knew I wasn't alone. _

"_But did you actually hear me start counting, you little leech?" the voice sniggered from behind. _

_He was catching up, and I felt the sudden surge of unbelievable excitment, jolting through my system, spurring me to go on..._

_Excitement at the prospect of actually beating him._

_The little girl giggled indulgently again. "I'm only physically six, Jakey. Cut me some slack. You know I need all the help I can get."_

_Jacob._

My Jacob.

Immediately, my eyes snapped open and the first thing I registered was the monochromatic surface of the white leather sofa coming in and out of focus.

Jacob.

Where the hell was he? I was aware we were bickering more so than usual, but he had told me he'd come see me after I got back from work regardless.

A fresh wave of panic coursed through my _all too_ alert body and I finally awoke to find the house unusually quiet. A silence which was discomforting to say the least.

Hoisting my stiff frame up, I stretched out the kinks and curiously regarded my surroundings.

_Empty._ Huh.

It was then, in that moment of uneasiness, I felt an unmistakable plethora of emotions. A dangerous mixture of fear, uncertainty, of terror for Jacob and for my family.

Whoever this killer was, she was clearly something my family- in their centuries of living, had never come across.

This disgruntled me.

How could they possibly expect me to sit around and do nothing, whilst I watch on with baited breath as everyone I love either get played or potentially die?

Quil was already severely injured. Did I really want someone else to get hurt?

No. _Of course_ not.

And then as if strangely subdued, I realised it was now or never.

Before, I was careful thinking of my intentions in the presence of my dad. _Now_ however, I knew I_ would_ find a way to go to Jacob. If he couldn't come to me, I'd go to him. In my mind, I didn't think this impulse, this _need_ to see him was unreasonable.

Irrational, yes. But not unreasonable.

It wasn't like this killer wanted me, so I was sure my family were simply over reacting.

I stumbled into an en suit._ Anyone's_ en suit. And only briefly glanced, unperceptively at the mirror. And then with a flash of sense and a simultanous gasp, my head immediately whipped back up to meet the mildly disturbed reflection.

_Ew._

I didn't know what the gasp was for. I shouldn't be surprised. Indeed, the mirror only confirmed what I already knew.

With hair freakishly resembling a stack of hay, a gauntly faced girl, with burning-red lips, so swollen, it was clear I had been biting them in my anxiety all night, met my horrified gaze. Silently, I cringed. I observed slowly, taking in my unmistakably obvious mauve-ish circles, dominating the attention away from my sallow eyes, the dry, feathered lips..._the hair._

But then, I didn't care. Life in Forks right now was chaotic. Letting yourself go for a few days was nothing.

In fact so absorbed was I now, in my need to ensure Jacob was safe that after performing my morning ablutions in a semi-zombie state, and helping myself to Rose's monumental wardrobe because my own things from the cottage –something I noticed at the back of my mind that strangely Alice didn't consider, I shoved a pair of jeggings on and clumbered into a vintage tee.

Somehow, I didn't think Rose would miss those much.

Strangely going unnoticed, I stalked the alluring scent of caffeine wafting through the air. The house remained unusually still as I carefully made my way downstairs. And in doing so, I stumbled into Esme in the kitchen cooking breakfast with Nahuel helping himself to more food and putting a fresh pot on. So it was _him _who laughed at my falling earlier.

She looked up from what she was doing then, welcoming me with her warm smile. I took in a greedy breath of air, attempting to detect any recent scents and even concentrated on noticing movement on any of the floors above. Excluding my presence, she appeared to be alone in the house. "Good Morning, darling," she smiled adoringly, undoubtedly aware of my suspicious stance.

"Buenos dias, Nessie," Nahuel nodded.

I forced a smile, "Shu-probhaat, or rather, Marí-marí," I replied strolling up to them both to take a seat next to a smiling Nahuel, who I noted, was now far too absorbed in this morning's newspaper. My family knew all too well of my fascinations with the languages. Bengali was a new one for me. I had a four-year-old patient that taught me a few random words and after that, I couldn't help researching it. It was this, along side Nahuel's mother tongue, Mapuche that was currently entertaining me in my Jacob free days away from the hospital.

"I made _French toast._ Your favourite." Esme sang, as she proffered an overabundant stack full of the stuff.

Short of feeling overly suspicious- too suspicious, I took it wordlessly and loathed having the nagging, somewhat sceptical feeling spurred on by my questioning the reasons behind my grandmother making me my favourate breakfast in the first place. I shouldn't, and I was all too aware of it, yet I couldn't help feeling in her attempts to somehow intoxicate me with french toast, she was concealing truths here. Also, I was unconsciously aware that there was no way in hell I could eat the mighty generous helping she supplied.

I eyed her dubiously. She smiled and turned to wiping the marbel work surface. A work surface that was already completely immaculate.

Clearly whatever Jasper had done to me last night, was still lingering in my system and I was simply riding the after effects in waves. It didn't however, prvent my suspicious eyes from intently boring holes into my grandmother's beautifully maternal, yet oblivious features now. "Edward told me you keep forgetting to eat," she laughed lightly. Nahuel stifled a snort too, choking on some waffle. _Hah._ Good. I was secretly glad. Esme ignored this however, "So I thought I'd stay behind and remind you this morning." She continued unfazed by Nahuel's inadvertant interruption, though the humour intermingled with her light-hearted reproaching didn't go unobserved.

"Edward would be correct in saying so."

The sounds of a tinkering peel of bells echoed through the large kitchen as my grandmother laughed at me. It was indeed a beautiful sound, one that I never got tired of hearing and often got me laughing, too. Vampire laughs were quite infectious, regardless of what mood I was in.

Speaking of Edward, where was everyone?

Indeed, more aware then ever of the gaping holes of absence the rest of the family usually filled, I placed a hand on her face. It was a childhood habit long forgotten, though I knew it came in handy during emergencies such as this, often rendering my family to oblige in answering any queries they're usually reluctant to answer. Manipulative? _Very._

I quickly flashed her everyone's faces with a question flavouring the images: _Where are they all? _

She smiled a little timidly this time, patting my hand and letting out a small sigh of reluctance. "Helping the pack, Nessie."

I blinked at her spastically. I didn't understand why I had to remain behind. "Whoever this is, isn't leaving." She elaborated.

_Why?_

"I don't know, baby."

I already knew the anser to this next question, but I knew it didn't hurt to try._ Can I get stuck in and help?_

"No."

Reluctantly, I took my hand away, knowing full well that was all I was going to get out of her and sat down beside my paternal grandmother. As I began chewing idly, watching as she began flitting around in the kitchen, cleaning up after herself, something told me she wanted to keep herself busy, perhaps in order to avoid answering any further questions.

I turned to Nahuel, who was now taking down notes on a piece of paper. Curious, I peered over his shoulder. He immediately cocked his head towards me, quickly covering his work. "What?"

Slightly taken aback, "Nothing. Just wanted to know_… whatcha doin'?"_

He narrowed his eyes sceptically. "I'm working, whelp."

"On what?" I asked, naturally interested again.

"My life." He responded, returning to his scribbling and taking noted from the paper.

I snorted. Grandma too, laughed lightly as she blurred out of my sight into the next room.

Wow, she really wanted to keep herself occupied. Noting this and telling myself that I wouldn't let her off that easily, I turned back to Nahuel. "That's going to take another century, I'm sure."

To this, he didn't say anything. "So what is it?" I persisted.

"I'm interested in venturing into real estate, Renesmee." He replied, looking up to meet my inquisitive gaze once more.

I nodded. Other than lecturing at university, I knew Nahuel always had this dream to build himself beautiful estates -an empire of homely taverns to be more precise. Located and scattered around in his favourite places, enjoy the splendours of Argentina.

"What do Maya and Huilen think?" I could only imagine his aunt would want to remain residing in the mountains with her mate, while I was sure my beautiful friend Maya would want the same as her older brother, Nahuel. She'd want a change in scenery.

"Well, considering it's my money, my business… they don't really have a say. Certainly not in how I choose to spend it." He shrugged chewing the last remnants of his breakfast, before getting up and emptying the remaining leftover into the bin.

Before he could so much as step a foot near the dishwasher however, "Leave it." I garbled through a mouthful of food. "I'll sort it later, Nahuel. Just come sit by my side." I gestured to the empty seat next to me.

"Nessie, I'm _hardly _straining myself by placing the plate in the washer…" he laughed, shaking his head.

"You're a guest, Nahuelito." I responded indignantly. "Besides, your new BFF _Rose _would never forgive me if I let you lift a finger…" I shrugged; teasing him with this apparent newfound fondness my aunt had developed in the recent years. It was more noticeably potent now, however -something that curiously amused Jasper, Alice and myself every time he visited.

"Ah. Do I detect a hint of jealousy?" he scorned, smiling impishly.

I shook my head, "No, just resentment."

He simply smiled, sipping his coffee.

"Please don't get me in trouble…" I continued. At this rate, Rose was sure to be really irritated. Initially this newfound friendship was amusing to watch, but now, it was just irritating. His yellow-brown eyes twinkled mischievously as he took in my predicament. "I'm not joking when I say she really won't forgive me." I added as an afterthought. She truly wouldn't.

He placed the plate in regardless, "I think you should commit to finishing your breakfast first, Renesmee. Certainly before Edward gets back." He said, leaning forward on the counter with his elbows propping him up. "He isn't impressed with your lack of eating recently."

I groaned. "Well, I'm not impressed with their lack of respect for me." I retorted mindlessly.

He grinned. "You mean sedating you to the point where you were knocked out?" he laughed puckishly.

I grew quickly annoyed and couldn't help growling as the realisation and _extent_ of what they did finally dawned on me. "How could they do that to me?" I murmured as the very unpleasant situation consumed my thoughts once more. When before, I was far too groggy to mull over it, now I couldn't help it. The question was more directed to myself, yet I felt Nahuel's concerned eyes on me too.

Really, I should be furious.

"Yeah, I had a tough time trying to stay awake myself."

I looked back up at Nahuel, a little annoyed that he got to know everything, and I didn't. It was childish, I know, but I was only human. Well, _half._

"All I wanted to know was if Jake was coming round…"

"They knew you'd still worry with what little they could give you…" he shrugged.

Oh, so sedating me -with the promise of me eventually waking up, wouldn't do the very same thing? Well that's comforting.

***

Rather obediently after that, I finished my breakfast, hoping to stay in grandma's good books enough for her to let me out of the house. She was now organising her second best silver wear set. "Okay, I think I'm going to head out now." I said casually, getting up. Truthfully, as much as I did have errands to run, I just _had_ to see Jake. "I have to go see how Taylor's operation went down. He should still be out of it, but I did promise I'd be there when he woke up…"

Nahuel pursed his lips, holding his breath; he shifted his eyes uncomfortably between Esme and I.

"No. Nessie, Carlisle notified the hospital and Taylor's mother. Taylor will understand, sweetheart. You need to be here, where you're safe." She spoke, her tenor voicing a sense of quite desperation –of restrained panic.

"Ok. Grams, what's going on? What aren't they telling me?"

She looked up somewhat reluctantly. "Sweetheart, it's best you let us deal with this."

Could her answer get anymore enigmatic?

"Deal with what, though?" I persisted.

"Renesmee, you're worrying needlessly." She said with a warm smile, avoiding answering altogether.

"I'm sorry Grandma, but if you can't provide me with adequate reasons to hold me under house arrest, then I have no choice but to continue my day as planned."

"Oh, Renesmee," she responded, sounding exhausted but equally distracted in her nervousness to keep me staying put.

"I don't think this is such a good idea, Nessie." Nahuel voiced during the strangled silence. I wasn't surprised that he was in on it all.

"It's okay." I replied turning back to my grandmother, "You can tell me." I assured her, slowly sitting back down in an effort to placate her worries of my pending departure. "Grams, _please_. What's …going on?"

She too, rather unnecessarily sat beside me and remained silent for a moment. Though she looked ridiculously beautiful in her completive silence, today of all days, my temperament was less than taught. As if she sensed my frustrations, "Neyha." She began, sounding unusually loud, which I could only assume was the sound filling the stillness in the silent room. "That's her name, Nessie." she paused. I gestured for her to continue. "I'm sure you've guessed…We're worried." Wordlessly, I nodded again. "She seems to have a curious fascination with the wolves."

"Naturally." I conceded, vaguely aware of Aro's words all those years ago in what seemed to feel like a nightmarish dream. The memory of that day in the clearing still sent terrified shivers down my spine. "I remember hearing something when I was a child. Something about them being distinct to that of the 'real werewolves,' so I imagine to our own kind, the Quiluetes- they're interesting creatures—atypical to that of the actual 'Children of the Moon.'"

Though it didn't meet her anxious eyes, my grandmother's features displayed a forced smile. "Nessie, Neyha has a specific curiosity with the Alpha…"

I looked at her questioningly. "Curious how?"

As I watched my grandmother find the right words to supply an explanation my thoughts lingered on possible scenarios.

Wait.

"As in…she's _interested_ in Jake?" I asked her as the extent of reality finally dawned on me. Silently, I was aware Nahuel examining me from where he was standing in the distance.

Well, this threw me for a loop.

She opened her mouth to say something, but chose to simply nod instead. _How very unlike her._

Without helping it, a burst of echoing laughter filled the massive house as I considered that bizarre scenario.

"Can't," snort, "blame her." Snigger, "Jacob's a hottie." I finally choked, clutching my stomach and breathing through the cramps.

Esme remained still, the same pained smile etched on her features.

_Wait. _

Her expression sobered me up immediately. "Seriously?" I inquired, disbelievingly. "What? How? I mean…" I sat back down reflexively, "How strange…"

"Yes. It truly is…" She eventually conceded. Again, I noticed the scrutinizing of my features. What wasn't she telling me?

"Won't that be awkward? I mean call me cynical, but… how could that relationship work? I mean…is Jake even into vampires?" The thought made me sick –painfully so, to the point where it physically hurt. But then, something else –something so obvious dawned on me. "Not to mention she's a freaking serial killer! I mean, how can he find that attractive?"

"He doesn't, Nessie."

Was it weird to simply adore my grandmother right now? Because those three simple words brought with them complete relief on my part_. _

_Of course._

"Right. Sorry. It's just… this is bizarre. Jake could do so much better." He really could. And for reasons I couldn't quite understand, I now had the overwhelming inclination to personally find this chick, and beat her to a pulp.

"Renesmee," Esme began, interrupting my rather pleasurable reverie, "…she's dangerous. Nayha… is unlike anyone we've ever encountered." I raised a sceptical eyebrow at that. Call me outlandishly cocky, but our coven is the strongest- not to mention the _largest _in the North American planes of America. It consisted of an overbearing yet equally loveable mind reader, a modest yet powerful shield, a killer empath, a quirky seer, not to mention uncle Em's mammoth strength and whatever crazy shit you call what I do…copycat/hacker? Even Eleazar was relatively discomfited by what he 'saw' of me when I reached full maturity. I really appreciated him freaking my parents out, prophesising that I was potentially the most powerful being he'd ever come across.

_As if. _

I get nosebleeds every time I touch my own dad for crying out loud. We had a theory about this actually. Dad theorized that as my ability shared the natural premise of temporarily emulating an ability after comprehending how one's mind works... and as dad picked up on every facile thought in a ten mile radius, it was simply too overwhelming for my part-human side to distinguish between every potential ability. This over exertion often drained me.

So now, with my overconfident thoughts about our coven aside, I continued to listen to my grandmother's explanation. "She has the ability to manipulate any man into doing her bidding, to impose their love on her… she can manipulate all five of their senses, veiling the truth if you will, and making them believe she is the representation of whatever –_whoever_ their heart's truly desire."

I squinted my eyes in marked scepticism, "Come again?"

I mean, I understood she held some influence over the opposite sex, but this just sounded ridiculous.

"Nessie, any man who gets in her way…" Nahuel interrupted, only to pause briefly in order to reword what he started. "She has this unique, yet extremely powerful ability, to seek and understand what it is they truly want in this world. Once she understands, she can hide and bend truths. She can shape shift into their desired mate…and-"

"And control them." I finished emotionlessly.

He nodded slowly, his intense eyes taking in my expression.

"Oooh." I said. "So when you say she messes with all five of their senses, she's not only looking like whoever they want, but –to her victims- she sounds, smells, feels and…_tastes _like them too?" I asked, my eyes unquestionably the size of saucers now. This would explain why she wouldn't appear to smell or feel like an ice-cold, sickly-sweet smelling vampire to the wolves.

My grandmother eyes were invariably apprehensive, but nonetheless, she nodded once in response to my query.

I was now aware that this…Succubus had an imperative ability permitting her to escape relatively unscathed from a powerful –not to mention _large_- pack of wolves. What a fiercely convenient gift. Something I had totally underestimated.

"I see." I said slowly, digesting it all. "So then why is it, I have to remain under lock and key?"

My thoughts lingered on my family's strange behaviour of late: Why my granddad wanted me home early, under the watchful eyes of my father... Why dad was adamant in not letting me go outside the door let alone find Jake... Why my mother prompted Jasper to oblige me into a profound snooze… and now…

Now, none of it made any sense. They weren't usually this cryptic or protective. Once I hit seven, we all had an understanding. I would try to live a normal life- well as normal as it can get for me under the circumstances- under their watchful, yet distant eyes…

Now however, as I watched Esme consider her answer, I was genuinely curious as to know why I had to remain under house arrest when I wasn't the one with a crazy stalker making a concerted effort to seduce me. That was all Jake.

"I don't understand," I elaborated, "I'm not in any physical danger. Is this one of dad's brilliant ideas?" I stifled an eye roll at the mere thought. Edward was unreasonable sometimes.

"We fear she may come after you…" she answered after a pertinent moment.

I raised another eyebrow at that. "Why? I haven't done anything."

She laughed lightly in response to my rather defensive tenor. "It's not anything you've done, darling. It's just… Jacob treasures you… you're very important to him."

I considered this, and couldn't help groaning. "Oh marvellous! Just brilliant. She thinks he loves me? Bloody fantastic."

"That, and well, she realises a whole coven of vampires are out there helping the wolves look for her. If she came to know of your existence, of us treasuring you with all our hearts…if she knew how precious you are to us…"

"I get it." But there was something else bugging me, "Why would she think Jake was in love with me when you said it yourself, he only treasures me?"

Before she could respond to this however, in what felt like a lengthy apex, all the men in my family stumbled through the backdoor. My father and Jasper both looked at me curiously, no doubt sensitive to the peculiar, warring emotions emanating from me and assaulting them both.

"She knows?" my dad asked as he entered last, addressing his adoptive mother. Though she didn't say anything; her betraying face however said it all. "It's okay. I know she can be persistent." He continued quietly, obviously having a conversation with her otherwise silent thoughts.

"Why wasn't I told about this?" I inquired, following his fluid movements around me. He looked like he was looking for something. What was he doing?

"There's nothing to tell."

I scowled at his simplistic, inadequate response and continued to do so as he sat opposite me, opening my Macbook. "What are you doing?" I asked, as I attempted to look over the screen.

"Booking you, Jasper, and Emmett tickets to France."

I continued to stare down my father, who I noticed was markedly avoiding my eyes. "Excuse me?"

I knew what this was. I knew exactly what this was. Did it prevent me from asking it anyway? Scratch that, did he really think this was going to work? "For now, yes." He responded dismissively, staring with vacant eyes at the screen.

He was actually sending me away?

"I'm not 'sending you away.' I thought I'd surprise you, but you're far too nosey to permit me do any such thing."

I watched him sceptically, his trained eyes appeared somehow placated yet focused and driven. Once a thought entered my father's mind -his own thought- he held onto it like his life depended on it.

_"Your_ life depends on it." He corrected me, without bothering to look up. His fingers were a veritable blur as they darted against the keyboard at a preternatural speed.

At the back of my mind, I was curious to know how he mastered using the heat sensitive mouse. He smirked then, his eyes still trained on the screen, as he raised a pair of pink thermal-heated gloves in responce to my thoughts.

_You can't be serious?_

"Deadly."

I shook my head, dazed. "No."

"No?" he questioned, finally raising his eyes, albeit reluctantly, to regard me. As if this thought- a thought that might involve me refusing to leave- hadn't at all occured to him. Perhaps it honestly hadn't and that very deduction spoke volumes to me. To him, I was still a child.

"_My_ child." He informed me. Somehow this too, felt like he was correcting my silent musings.

"I have a life here. My first year as an intern, dad! The programmes only just started. I can't afford to miss out. I have patients who depend on me. I can't just up and leave, because you're worried I _might_ get hurt!"

"Carlisle has spoken to the Chief. I'm actually certain the hospital will understand."

Completely dumbfounded, "What did he say?"

"That something's come up. An emergency."

_An emergency?_ _Please._

"What about Jacob?"

I noticed as he clenched his jaws as if biting back the first responce floating into his mind, and instead, reverted back to what he was doing. "What about him?" he asked, his voice indifferent- unnaturally controlled.

I blinked, dazed once more. "Well, I'm assuming he's coming, right?"

"No."

"No?" I repeated. I was utterly confused. "Why not?"

"Renesmee, this nomad is _quite literally_ stalking Jacob –the pack. And because we're involved, wants _you_ dead. Do you really consider it wise for said man to go on holiday with you?"

I considered this for like a minute second. _"Yes!"_

Edward sighed, sounding slightly frustrated with me now. I watched as he stretched one large arm behind and reached for his wallet. "Yes." I insisted my voice markedly more softer, desperately composed. My father ignored me and sifted through all of his plastics in order to pay.

"Dad, I…can't leave him." _Not now._

"He's old enough and ugly enough to-"

"Dad!" I protested, slowly losing my patience now.

Somewhere in the background I heard Nahuel stifle a laugh. Dad ignored this and took in another long, unnecessary breath- as if he were choosing how to best word something. _Finally,_ he landed on: "He can take care of himself, Renesmee."

Really, I knew these words, like so many others from my family, we intended to kill any qualms I may have, to placate me. And as much as I loved them for it, it was frustrating all the same. Because nothing could erode away these unreasonable sharp stabbing pains I felt everytime I thought of him. Knowing he was out there, potentially being influnced by this thing was slowly killing me, and I honestly didn't think this was an exaggeration.

"That's beside the point." I finally answered in a deadpan voice, devoid of any feeling.

"Is it? I thought the general foundations of your concern were for his safety? _Ergo, _you didn't want to leave."

Something in me snapped and I couldn't reign in my thoughts anymore. _It's not as easy as that, and you know it._

He merely shook his head in disdain, which did very little in apprehending any possible tantrum threatenting to boil over. at the back of my mind, I understood what he was trying to do for me, but really, what would stop her from finding me in France?

"He's not going, Nessie and that's final."

Slowly, I crossed my arms over my chest. "Fine. Then I choose not to go either, please."

He rolled his eyes, clearly unimpressed with my childish display of aversion. "I'm sure you can live without Jake for a few weeks."

I heard his words, but it felt like I hadn't quite registered them yet. "Weeks?!" I finally shrieked. I wasn't aware it was going to be _weeks_.

"Ness, turn it down an octave. We'll be back once this is all under the water." Heatedly, I turned to face my bear-like uncle -_the traitor._

"He's _hardly_ a traitor."

Emmett laughed, his convivial features turning back and forth between dad and I, evidently amused by our mini spat. I tried to ignore the foundations of the house vibrating with the infectious sound. "Nice, Ness." I continued to scowl at him. "Though, I think Edward's being optimistic. It could be months -depending on how long it'll take them to stop her." As I was reeling from this news, he turned to Dad. "I still don't see why me and Jazz have to go, and you don't."

"We've been over this, Em. Because I need to know what's going on in her head…"

_Or maybe the prospect of leaving mom is just too much?_

He ignored my thoughts.

"Dad, here's a crazy thought, that I'm just going to put out there." Edward looked up, an eyebrow raised in sceptical intrigue, "Don't you think you're overreacting just a tad?"

Though he wasn't impressed, both Jasper and Emmett -who were planning out our trip with maps and leaflets that came out of nowhere- struggled to choke back a guffaw.

Nahuel bit his lip to stop himself, feigning interest in more real estate –this time on his laptop.

"You're going, and that's final." Edward said in quiet severity.

With his tyrant-esque words, I got up to leave. "Fine."

After three weeks, why was this happening now?

"Nessie," he called after me. I paused and reluctantly turned to regard him once more. Every inch of me was now stiff with a resentment I wish I wasn't feeling. "I really don't have time for this. Please..."

_Time for what? Like a good little girl, I'm not saying anything. Like a good little girl, I'm not even doing anything. I'm just...existing._

For the second time that afternoon, I watched as Edward drew in another unnecessary long breath. Now the loving daughter in me wanted to assume it was simply out of force of habbit. The sceptical jerk however, recognised the tell tail signs of barely-tolerating-the-lashings-of-residual-teen-angst. "Just,_ please_ -for once, without needing to question anything- can you do as you're told?"

My mouth fell open. _'For once?' When -in my ten years of living- have you known me to ever go against you or mom? You're asking me to leave this country. To leave my life for God knows how long..._

"I understand how hard it's going to be, honey. I really do."

_Really? _I narrowed my eyes, eyeing my father sceptically. _Have you considered that maybe I can help more by staying?_

It was a long shot, but I felt I had to try.

"You'll get to see Jacob in three weeks. I promise." He replied, pretending he hadn't heard my last thought.

I sighed a little dejectedly. Typical. "Dad, _please_ don't do this to me." I implored, neglecting to follow through with the initial plan of exploding in his face. My last ditch attempt now involved begging.

"Edward, perhaps we _are_ thinking too severely about the situation." Grandma piped up.

_Thank you! _I thought, appreciatively.

Without really surprising me, my father chose to ignore my thoughts of gratitude. "I really don't think so." He said to her, "I heard her thoughts, Esme."

As I listened in, my brows knotted together in a mixture of curiosity and confusion. I was distracted now: _'Her thoughts?' _He had the chance to get into her mind?

He turned to look at me then, "For a short time before she began confusing me."

By 'confusing,' I could only assume he meant her influence got to him too and I couldn't help feeling this was in fact the real reason why he was now getting so freaked out.

"I'm sorry if you think I'm the bad guy in all this, Nessie. I just…_ we_ can't risk you getting hurt."

_I don't think that_. _I just don't want to go._

He let out a frustrated sigh. "It's not up for debate. You're leaving in a few hours -nine to be exact. The closest I could get at this short notice."

"It leaves from Sea-Tac, right?" Jasper asked, checking his watch and gathering a few more maps and brochures.

His conflicting eyes were unwavering from my own as he nodded mechanically in responce to his brother's inquiry. "Alice has packed you a suitcase. It's in your room. I suggest you add anything personal she's missed, though I highly doubt that's even possible." He tried to reassure me then, with his familiar lop-sided smile.

I stared at him, unmoving and unseeing. "You'll be able to say your goodbyes to your mother and aunts when they come back…"

As I registered these words, I resisted the painful need to sob now. This was really happening. My childhood nightmares brought to life. The fat tears, formally glazing my eyes, had minds of their own now. They had filled to the brim and threatened to fall at any moment. Actually, with my vision impaired the way it was, I wasn't even aware of my dad's comforting form standing so close to my own now.

"Don't cry, baby." I heard him whisper softly. I didn't miss the silent anguish in his voice. He came closer towards me, his hand reaching out hesitantly. "You'll be back before you know it." He assured, kissing my hair and enveloping me in a soft yet urgent hug. I noticed he was careful not to touch my skin directly and this very detail hurt me.

Slowly, I shook my head against his hard, ice-cold chest, the tears now raining down. Something awful occured to me then. Why hadn't anyone mentioned Jake? Where was his exact location right now?

"Renesmee-" Edward began to try again, his voice even more gentil now. I couldn't understand it, but somehow this seemed to make things worse. "It won't be long-"

"Don't." I mewled into his shirt. "Just don't, dad." I couldn't bear being away as it was. To have that hope that I'd be returning sooner rather than later, when there was a very real possibility that it might be considerably _longer _by the looks of it, regardless of a whole coven of female vampires looking for her right now- of a wolf pack scouring every inch for her- I just couldn't have that hope.

And then there was Jacob…

"He'll be fine, Ness."

"It's not going to be for a few weeks, is it?" I asked, looking up.

He sighed against my hair before wiping my tears away. If I was honest with myself, I felt utterly broken -hurt that he hadn't come to see me. To let me know he was safe. And I knew this unreasonable feeling of abandonment was just that –_unreasonable._ After all, he was out there… tracking a killer who had a sickening, _devastating_ curiosity with him and him alone. _But why him?_

When Esme was explaining before, I wasn't joking when I said Jacob was a hottie. I understood at an early pubescent age that Jacob Black had the potential to leave little over half the female population of the Pacific Northwest hankering for him. And this wasn't an exaggeration. Countless times, I would witness with curious eyes as an oblivious Jacob would try and snub overly keen customers at his workplace. Countless times I observed him being hit on and not quite understanding_ at the time_ why they acted the way they did around him. It was strange and equally discomforting for me to watch pretty girls lean so casually against the hood of their cars, batting their mascara clumped lashes profusely. Back then, I thought very little on this because honestly, they looked as if they were suffering from an eye tic. It was actually Jacob's behaviour that intrigued me if anything. Occasionally he would peer over to where Embry and I would stand fooling around and his puppy dog eyes would desperately search for _my_ attention. Indeed, I always got the impression he was far more interested in our thumb war rather than the smexy ladies standing before him, tugging at his collar for some attention. I put this down to him just not being interested. It did bother me on a totally subconscious level, even back then, that one day he might possibly say yes to someone though. And that thought alone made me feel sick for an indefinate number of reasons. For one, I remember I never once felt the need to question his choices back then. I never once asked why he declined potentially hot dates, why he would continuously sweep to one side any outright flirting. Sometimes, it felt like his obliviousness was genuine and perhaps it was.

My thoughts drifted back to this killer and her unnatural infatuation for him. I could now understand. Of course I could. Mentally, I could see exactly why...

_Those thick dorsal muscles laxing everytime he chose to laze around with me...abs I would often notice in my brazen ogling, rippling so deliciously everytime he laughed... Of course there was more to Jake than just his perfect, sculpted-by-the-Gods- body, but the hard-to-ignore crazy definition across the gleaming expanse of his chest made it difficult for me sometimes think anything. I imagined it all pressed flush against my body, those massive guns he called arms wrapped tightly around me…__ I wasn't afraid to admit he was perfection. _

_Perfection._

_My mind went elsewhere then, and I couldn't stop the mental images drifting into my mind's eye... That sweet, sweet detail God seemed to perfect on him: the lush _V_ that led down to his-_

Someone cleared their throat loudly- _dramatically,_ instantly snapping me back to reality. How strange it felt to forget where I was and what was currently happening to my life. I tilted my head up slightly to meet the throat-clearer who was visibly stiffening at the vivid train my thoughts were leading me. Had I not been so humiliated right now, the look ony my father's face would've made me laugh. It was priceless. And yet still, it was remarkable how I'd totally forgotten he was there- holding me, trying to soothe me. Very unlike me. It took all of my will power to ignore the obnoxious feel of embarassment wash over me, cauterizing beneath my face and neck as a result. I began to silently chastise myself and wanted to get back to the crucial point at hand.

In deed, Jacob was…well… huh. _Jacob._ Mmm. Erm. Through my peripheral, Jasper too, looked curiously my way, a mixture of amusement and utter disgust harbouring his usually quaint features. I suppose these are feelings you don't want your niece to ever feel so…unabashedly?

Inwardly cringing, I began to backtrack. But surely to a vampire, he –Jacob- would be repulsive, regardless of his rebellious god-like appearence? I suppose her ability was to supply an image –a representation of whatever he desired. Knowing Jake, I suspected Kate Beckinsale. Or maybe Mandy Moore actually.

Dad snorted. It was a strange sound because it seemed he was still recovering from my prior thoughts involving Jacob's body. It must've caught him off guard, which was understandable.

Indeed, ignoring the involuntary snooping, I simply didn't understand her attraction to him. I mean, I _understood_. Very well actually.

Dad almost let out another strange noise.

...But I didn't understand how it could be possible for her, due to the obvious barriers discerning them as natural enemies.

Not that I imagine Jake to ever be that shallow. So I suspect race wouldn't even enter as a factor to overcome for him. In fact, I remember him telling me once that it simply wouldn't matter to him -that love was something we should always hold onto –like holding onto dear life- in whatever form it came in. Indeed, I was confident -if it was ever necessary; he'd fight for whomever he fell for. Of that I was certain. Then of course there was something that bothered me. Why was my family so convinced she was coming after _me_ of all people?

"We have our reasons..." My father murmured against my hair, an intangible quality to his I was sure, that were mainly due to my family helping out the packs. He sighed in reticence, and eventually let me go to return to his laptop. "I suggest you get your things in order…" he added rather sullenly now.

I tried not to let the sudden shift in mood get to me and reluctantly nodded, heading my way up the stairs. My thoughts were still undeniably fixed on the strange circumstance surrounding us. Surely it was imperative for them to bear each other in order to mate? I inwardly shuddered at the idea of Jacob with a _Vampire_—a bloodsucker as he usually referred to them_. _It just wouldn't make sense for him to be attracted to one, regardless of her having a convenient aptitude in supplying men with whatever the hell they wanted: their innermost could do so much better.

And then my thoughts were on the Succubus again: Regardless of how close Jake and I were –_are-_ I'd say he was just as close to mom actually, I didn't think that was enough reason to come for me. I didn't understand. The only other reason I could come up with in order to justify why she would want me, was that if she was so crazily besotted with Jake, only to find that it was actually _me_ he wanted.

My body fell rigid and I paused midstep at that thought.

But then that was simply ridiculous…

Jake has quite literally been everything I could ever ask for in life. When I needed a brother, he was there. When I needed a best friend, he was there, too. When I needed a shoulder to cry on or needed cheering up, when I felt scared, much to my parent's bewilderment, he was the only one who could console me. He was that fixed variable in my life- that addiction I was only now aware _was_ an addiction.

Though I knew all too well that the thing about addiction is, it never ends well.

From the very beginning, he's been there and I'd like to think I've been there for him, too. But now, to think that he would want me in that way… I just don't think it was possible or _plausible._ Indeed, _v_anquishing the wayward thoughts to the back of my mind, I scanned what was previously my father's pre-bella room, pointlessly lost in a reverie where the impossible could very well be possible. My eyes began to absently look for anything Alice may've somehow missed and a part of me- the unreasonable_, perverse _part, felt indifferent by the prospect.

Because I knew that with unreasonable need -this addiction that I had for him, comes this all consuming high and eventually whatever it is that gets us high...stops feeling good and starts to hurt. I was entirely dependent on Jacob, to the point where even I knew it was an unhealthy necessitate to be near him.

Still, they say you can't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you come to know when you're there?

It was like the ultimate catch twenty-two. I wanted him to be happy, truly I did. But did I want him to be with anyone?

I felt empty without him. And now he was going to get everything he could ever want, in the perfect woman. Albeit, she's a killer, but I'm sure for Jake, she'd stop. I shook my head at the unlikely, yet worryingly equally plausible idea. Could Jake really want that? A killer? No.

It was then, as I scanned my room, I noticed a photo Seth had taken long ago of Jake and I, was missing off of my desk. This could quite possibly be my rock bottom. It was a photo taken three years ago on my seventh birthday in New Hampshire. I kept that photo with me all the time.

Slightly confused, I took a few cautious steps towards my desk. Had someone been in my room? I couldn't detect any unfamiliar scents. Just my parent's… aunts' …and Nahuel.

Though Nahual couldn't possibly…

Overriding the absurd thought of _Nahuel_ taking my photo for no reason, I was stumped. I mean, why would he?

I shook my head as I continued scanning my room for anything else misplaced. I was aware that due to my bizarre capabilities in cognitive thinking, I was certain I left it beside my bed…

So not long after that, I desperately sifted through my belongings -belongings Alice had already kindly packed for me, hoping to find it.

Fifteen minutes and forty-three seconds later – and with my room a veritable mess, turned upside down: Nothing.

I knew full well Ali would've made it obvious where she put that picture. She knew how much it meant to me. It was taken before I left to go to college. So now, where was it?

Peering out of my window in quiet contemplation, I observed the heavy rain beating down hard against the massive window wall. I wasn't aware it was raining so heavily again. The flitting leaves were struggling with the powerful winds…

The remarkably dense foliage was all I could see at first. Surrounding the house made our home almost invisible –a sanctuary where we didn't have to hide who we really were.

A brilliant flash of lightening momentarily lit the chaotic room. I continued to stand, mesmerised by the torrential rain. Where had my sun gone?

My eyes scanned the trees, an unconscious instinctual habit that was apparently in our nature as Vampires. Trees…more trees…the river… grey fur…

Wait. I narrowed my eyes on the darting form of grey. No animal could move like that. It's beautiful, fluid movements could only belong to that of a wolf.

_Embry?_

Was Jake making some of the pack patrol around the house?

A pang of longing enveloped me at the mere thought of him. Desperately, I tried to track down the familiar pelt of grey I easily identified before. Where was he? Where did he go?

Amidst the branches, my inherently capable eyes observed a pair of intoxicating red lips… a precarious smirk… etched on the face of a gloriously pale, fiery haired woman. My dry mouth hung open and I couldn't help drinking her in.

Fearing I was imagining her, I processed what was happening a little too slowly. My wide eyes were fixed. She didn't look away either. She was stunning.

_Great..._ I thought at the back of my mind._ Just marvellous..._

Indeed, momentarily floored as I was by her beauty, I made the mistake of blinking spastically.

And then she was gone.

* * *

_End notes: Come Clean –Hillary Duff. The video for this single was my inspiration. Nessie looking out at the window at the rain etc. you get the picture. :D_

_Sea-Tac is short for Seattle Tacoma Airport._

_I just wanted to thank my astute beta pinkpower, who never fails to make me think about my choices. Though i've had this stuff written out 'eons ago,' it takes time to reread through my crap and sometimes i just don't have the time or the patience. Seems like living a productive life just gets in the way! (growing up actually sucks)_

_Also, the fic's name may need an overhaul as we both think it's cheesey. But then I do love cheese._

_RnR, please! ;)_

_xoxo_


	4. Chapter 4 So Contagious

_Chapter Four- So Contagious_

_Author's Note: This chapter is a little longer. So long in fact, that I've been forced to split it in two to make it more manageable for you guys to get everything lol._

_Quick note, I don't know if anyone's aware of Rogue from Wolverine and the Xmen, but effectively that's something that heavily influenced what Nessie's childhood powers eventually developed into alongside her physical development –in my head anyway. It works within canon. I took the liberty to build upon what sm supplied us with, so call it a creative embellishment of sorts, on my part. Unless of course, someone accuses me of stealing this too. *rolls eyes._

_I actually have a chapter written out of the family freaking out and dragging Eleazar down for answers. I'm planning on putting this in my focal fic though: APitW._

_Also, if anyone's interested I've recently watched Tristan and Isolde and wept like a fool. I am now in love with James Franco and think he'd be an amazinnng Nahuel in my head. aha. :D_

_Any confusions, please let me know. Any questions, feel free to ask. :) Also, please let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy._

_Disclaimer: You know the score. I absolutely own nothinggg! 'cept maybe the weird scenarios in my head. But then…apparently they're not even mine. *shrugs._

* * *

***

'The true genius at incompleteness- and usually prefers silence to saying something which is not everything it should be…'

Edgar Allan Poe

***

Before I could so much as breathe, a snarling Edward darted into the room –a grey-blue blur, and wrapped a powerful arm around my comparatively small frame, forcibly pushing me back. In fact, so taken aback was I, that my aberrant capabilities in steadying myself were lost in that very instant. Even under the control of my dad's protective arms -in him attempting to assist me with my balance, I was still a shallow pool of dizzying nerves. My mind was literally swimming in confusion. Both he and Jasper stood on either side of me, a mixture of hostility and unease carved on their features.

My father must've seen what I had previously seen through my eyes. He saw her as well. Dad simply cocked his head slightly to the right in response to my private speculations, to form an ambiguous nod directed my way.

They scanned the backwoods, careful not to miss anything.

Outside, I noticed Emmett and Esme in the heavy shower, getting entirely drenched as they searched through the dimly lit thicket surrounding our home. In my ten-year existence, I'd never seen my beloved grandmother so…_vehement_. It was unusual to say the least, but I considered that the Cullen matriarch was instinctually protective of her young. And I loved her more than she could know for that.

So many things were happening all at once. I was vaguely aware of distant, unclear murmurings coming from somewhere downstairs -of a phone conversation Nahuel was having. He was conversing with my mother.

"I know." My father stated quietly to Jasper after a silent moment wrought with tension. I could only assume he was responding to my uncle's silent thoughts.

"We need to leave, Edward. Soon." Jasper continued, barely audible with one large arm leant against the window, seeming to prop himself against the window wall, while the other resided casually in his pocket. By _we,_ he of course meant getting me to leave the country, escorted by both my uncles. His preternatural beauty remained in tact in his quietly stern perusal of the dense foliage outside. I knew this was Jasper's territory. Someone was trying to attack the family. _His _family. And I knew deep down that despite feeling different from everyone else, Jasper and I had that much in common.

I noticed my father's eyes widen as he quietly considered my thoughts. With me clearly still being in slight shock, my thought processes around my dad in particular were going to be sloppy.

"Do you see what we mean now, Nessie?" My father asked in quite grit, his eyes venomously fixed, refusing to leave the forest.

_We?_ I thought it was only my father who wanted me to leave.

"You see how I can't possibly have you here? Why _Jacob_ can't have you here?"

I stared at him, slightly taken aback. Perhaps it was my previous fifty-two hours spent at the hospital, but my responses and quick thinking were slacking. Edward chose to continue scowling at the forest; his usually striking eyes a hue of black I never knew existed. Frankly it distressed me.

_Jacob?_

What did he mean by that? Jacob wanted me to leave too? Of course he did. I knew Jacob all too well. Over the previous decade that constituted for my brief childhood, he had always taken it upon himself to act as my guardian angel, or rather an overprotective, overbearing playmate.

Like an emotional floodgate, a painful pierce of longing at the mere thought of what Jake had done for me over the years, consumed every part of me. It was an unruly ache, a thirst, a _craving_ I couldn't explain, nor ignore.

And I was very aware of it in recent years.

My need for Jacob had always been there, from the very beginning. In fact, I was also aware that Clare Young could possibly be the only other who could understand such a thing.

She too, I observed in my visits to La Push over the years, was apparently incapable of playing, eating, or _sleeping_ without Quil being there to either make her laugh, feed her, or lull her into a decorous slumber.

When I would wordlessly watch in my many, but brief visits, smiling at a sleeping Clare's face, wanting to dip myself into her dreams –a reverse of what I could already do. I would look over at the two, and he would look as if he resided in a world of complete bliss, holding her tightly to himself.

Jacob insisted he missed doing that with me -lulling my to sleep…

I grimaced. Vanquishing that specific exchange between Jake and I to the back of my mind, this of course, was Clare as a _child_. Now however, thirteen-year-old _Clare Young_ had grown into a beautiful swan, unbeknown to C-Bear, with boys fawning for her left, right and centre.

I felt sad for my friend.

Right now, I could only imagine that she, no doubt, would be experiencing a dreadful plight over her beloved companion. He was still hurt after all.

I frowned as I realised that's exactly what i was doing. My thoughts were back on Jake. I could understand he wanted to keep me safe. I loved him irrevocably for that. But to haul me all the way to Europe? I was unsure how to feel about that. If my leaving was indeed Jacob's idea, then what did that say about his perception of me? Was I still a pampered child who needed to be wrapped in a secure, cosseted bubble of …_powerful vampires_? Supernatural bodyguards?

Then of course there was him not wanting me here. Irrational as I knew it to be, I was hurt by that development.

Edward tore his eyes from the forest to look at me just then. Abruptly, I was all too aware he was still waiting patiently for me to answer him. So shoving that unpleasant thought aside, I simply nodded mechanically, observing from within the safe confines of our window wall, how my grandmother darted into the suspicious woodland, disappearing from our views completely.

I was about to protest, noting Emmett coming back inside. "She'll be fine." My dad responded to my barely processed concerns. "Esme is better off without Emmett getting influenced by this nomad and causing a difficult situation to escalate further."

Of course. If uncle Em followed suit, and they_ did _bump into this killer, then she could easily use this to her advantage, influencing Emmett to turn on Esme.

So then what stopped her from coming into this house? I was surrounded by men, after all.

"It's all a _game_ to her—toying with others is amusing." Dad responded quietly. I didn't miss the silent resentment hiding beneath the surface. This was all so overwhelming.

"Edward," A distinctly male voice called from behind. We all turned to face a grim faced Nahuel extending his phone for dad, "It's Bella. She wants to talk."

My father merely nodded -a little mechanically, before grabbing the proffered phone. Prior to him leaving the room however, he exchanged a knowing look with uncle Jazz. "Jasper-"

"I know, Edward." Uncle Jazz interrupted, turning to look at dad. I could tell he was communicating with my father silently. "Keep her where I can see her. Don't let her go anywhere on her own." He breathed after a drawn out moment.

Now as much as I appreciated their concern, I really thought this was all unnecessary. She could've attacked me if she wanted to. Other then grams her to protect me, I was pretty much offered to her on a plate.

_So, great. What am I, Cod-liver? _I thought a little bitterly to myself. It was a thought I couldn't really help thinking. It was also a thought I instantly regretted. The air after all, was thick with tension and tapered with indecision. I didn't want to stress anyone further. Not with my pointless, winging hissy fits.

Dad smiled appreciatively at Jasper before patting Nahuel on the back as he passed him. My uncle simply returned to gazing through the heavy rain at the mutedly lit forest.

"Bella?" Dad began. I didn't miss the silent need for my mother in his voice as he exited the room and headed into granddad's private study on the floor above us. With my innate aptitude in hearing from a great distance, I could still take notice of the tension filled conversation exchanged between them both. "No she's fine, love. She's okay." He began to soothe. "No. No sign as yet." There was a brief pause. "Perhaps an attempt at a pre-emptive attack." Another annoying pause. "Bella, yes. That would be a good idea. Notify Jake. He'll want to know. Yes." Another pause. "She _did_ see Embry watching over the house. I think it's wise for you all to come back." He paused again, "I'm aware that other than Esme, she's surrounded by possible attackers, Bella."

I inwardly grimaced at the thought of my own family attacking me. No. I wouldn't think like that.

"No. That's fine. If that'll ease your mind, then it's fine to comb the surrounding woodland around the house." Another amazingly annoying drawn out pause. "Bella, I love you too. Just come back to me soon."

I collapsed onto my bed then, burying my face in my hands. It felt like the roof was caving in and it was all coming crash down on me. _She_ was here. Watching me? But…why? Embry was out there. I was sure of it. So then, where was Jake?

"Everything's going to be okay, Caramelo."

I felt the weight shift on my bed and a large arm wrap securely around my shoulders, pulling me into their side. "Things will be okay." Nahuel whispered.

I sighed and reluctantly tore away from my hands to look up and find him smiling reassuringly. I didn't miss the soft seriousness, the honesty in his words. In fact, perhaps it was the years of knowing Nahuel that proliferated the cynic in me, but I was momentarily flawed by how earnestly he delivered himself.

I tried to reply with a smile that could match his, but something told me it looked more like a grimace. "I won't let her get you." He teased as he observed me trying to come up with a reassuring response.

In any case, I snorted at that one. Rather unnecessarily, I took advantage of Nahuel's hand innocently skimming against the side of my arm: _Yeah, right._

Wordlessly, we both turned to look out into the woods. Our reflections on the window wall opposite the bed stared back at us, unseeing.

Nahuel and I matched in so many ways, _physically_. In these extreme circumstances, I would've thought I had the added advantage considering I wasn't born with a Y chromosome determining maleness, something that apparently made me immune to this _slut-bag-whore._

His reflection grinned light-heartedly at me. He wanted to cheer me up and get my mind off things.

I took his hand, and squeezed it appreciatively. "I don't need a hero, Nahuel." I replied back softly.

I just needed Jake. Though whether they were both the same thing however, was beside the point right now...

He smirked. "Claro que sí. _Sure_."

"I'm thinking in this case, I'm better off against her than you anyway." I teased, reiterating my silent thoughts out loud.

"Perhaps." He conceded after a few silent moments of consideration. "But we'll never know, because you're not going out there."

"Hmm."

We'll see.

***

After finding absolutely _no trail_ –something relatively impossible for my family- grandma returned after an hour or so, not wanting to leave me with a house full of men. Something I found quite amusing, regardless of the severity of the situation. It just…sounded so ridiculous.

Excluding Jasper, who was apparently now the shadow I silently wished Peter Pan could adopt, she joined my father and the rest downstairs, strategically planning -something I always thought was _Jasper's_ area of expertise.

Actually, I made sure he knew this, in my lame attempts to tempt him in to joining them downstairs. However, my impossible uncle literally_ refused _to leave my side. I didn't know whether this was under the stringent orders of Colonel Masen or what, but it was grating on me now. As if being under house arrest wasn't bad enough, having a preternatural bodyguard who could mess with your serotonin levels was just humiliating.

Sensing a rain of impossibly insufferable, infuriated emotions no doubt, my uncle cocked his head and just smirked. He was sprawled comfortably on my white sofa with his hands behind his head. It would've been considered a really comfortable pose, though apparently a superfluous habit for vampires to lounge, considering they didn't tire. I knew he was totally feigning being in relax-mode for my sake. And because of this, I knew it was hard to stay mad at my family for too long. They did this because they cared. It was frustrating, yes, but overbearing as they sometimes were, they usually had good intentions for their seemingly neurotic precautions.

Occasionally when he thought I wasn't looking through my peripheral, he'd inspect the woods again. He always wore an impossibly stern look on his perfect features when he was like this. A bit like daddy, only _scarey._ But conversely, that was also another interesting thing about Jasper Whitlock. Suffice to say, I actually loved being around my uncle and spending time with him because he was something I hadn't quite figured out yet. I mean, these conflicting, confusing, pent up feelings that I have, I can't imagine them simply going unnoticed. And yet, he says nothing. Doesn't even tease me. I'm not complaining, but as he's getting everything first hand, it just makes me wonder what he must think of me. Then of course, there's the awkward case of my father. Not only can he hear me, but he _feels _everything Jasper feels eminating -second hand- from me too. To him, I'm officially an open book. Yet he too, hasn't approached me about any of this.

Strange.

I thought that perhaps it's simply because there's nothing to talk to me about. That this is somehow normal. Or maybe they're giving me an opportunity to redeem myself...

I eyed him again a little dubiously. Over a hundred years of life, many of those years consisting mainly of warfare, I often wandered what went on in that head of his. Perhaps dad had instructed him to simply overlook this new found flaw of mine regarding my apparently wierd, borderline incestuous feelings for Jake. Granted, I wouldn't blame either of them if this were the case.

Jasper continued to observe the thick blanket of muted darkness outside. His amber eyes were unusually distant and hazy, as if he were lost, deep in thought himself.

It was because of this, that sometimes, I thought Jasper was a riddle wrapped comfortably in an enigma. Something told me he preffered it like that too.

"What are you thinking?" He asked, quietly, not looking away from the curtain of black surrounding one side of the room.

Quickly, like a child caught out for snooping, I whipped my head back to what I was reading -boring case studies. Freaking licensure exams. "Err...contemplating whether a Liger really _is_ bred for its skills in magic." I lied.

There was long, drawn out pause.

I chanced a peep.

He didn't look impressed. Was he unimpressed with the rain? Doubted that. "Yep. That Napolean is _crazy."_ I added a little sheepishly.

He smirked and tore his eyes away to regard me. "What's wrong, Nessie?"

"Hmm?" I blinked. "Me? I'm just great." Why was he worrying about me when I was perfectly safe inside, whilst my mother, aunt and his wife were out there, scouring the surroudings?

"Just peachy." He raised a sardonic brow and narrowed his eyes. I didn't realise I was being so obvious. "Seriously..." I continued feebly.

Again, he didn't look impressed.

I made a mental note to practise more in front of the mirror. "Ugh. The usual." I finally confessed, giving up. "Some nasty bizatch is out to get me and my family- _for absolutely no reason-_ and I'm sitting here, looking pretty. To make matters worse, my mother's out there refusing to stop until she finds this thing- _risking her life for me-_ and my..." I frowned, the next words not quite coming out. I swallowed back the painful lump and momentarily confused, stuttered out: "...Jacob and the pack are fighting a losing battle.."

It was true. It really seemed like this was impossible.

Conscious to the fact that I was currently an open book splayed out for him to read, I looked up at my uncle hesitantly then. It was beyond humiliating, beyond embarrassing, that he knew every minute, morsel of hormonally driven urges, surging through my veins like a freight train. I came to realise from an early age however, that my dignity was lost to me the day Edward dragged my terrified, naked form out of my mother- my much missed sanctuary. Bella, I remember, was the best bed ever. Incidentally, things turned a little sour when I was drowning inside her and she wouldn't stop moving and screaming.

"Renesmee?"

Jasper's voice interrupted my digressing thoughts. He looked expectantly at me, yet his eyes were equally worried for some reason. I can't imagine why. _I _was fine. _I _was safely locked away in hiding. It was everyone else outside that concerned me.

"You look awful." He commented quietly. "Really awful."

His observation momentarily knocked me for six, but I couldn't help sighing despondently. His blunt words, intending to convey his concern, merely depressed me further. I couldn't say I blamed him for his bluntness though. For a few hours now, I had been quite happily avoiding all reflective surfaces offering me my reflection. _Happily avoiding the truth._ "Thank you." I replied graciously, "I'm sure that's going to do wonders for my already boasting self-esteem..."

Indeed, it would do. Growing up in a house abundant of beautiful people seemed to give rise to some form of inferiority complex within me.

"But, you do." He continued, more seriously now.

"I didn't question or doubt your observation."

"Well, can I ask why you look the way you do?"

Was I really _that _bad?

"No, really...don't hold back, uncle Jazz." I scorned. Again, he was worried and I knew this. At least, that's what I kept telling myself. I was sure if my mother or my aunts were here, they'd assert the same concerned parental role too.

He ignored me. "My point is, your general appearence is worrying. When was the last time you slept? _Or ate_ for that matter?"

I laughed incredulously now. "Are you telling me you've forgotten the time little over twelve hours ago, when you joined in on the conspiracy my parents are currently obsessing over? The one where you helped knock me out?" I was all too aware this was something he still hadn't apologised for.

He smiled grimly. "I was referring to before that time. Your natural sleeping pattern."

That was all over the place, but I didn't want to go into it right now. More pressing matters to dwell on.

"...And Bella could recognise you needed a rest, so I felt obliged to..."

_"Sedate me."_ I offered, coolly. I was still so bitter about that, that it was juvenile. The fact that he nodded, with very little remorse on his features didn't help issues.

"I sensed things were taking their toll on you, and did what I had to do, to prevent you from keeling over."

I resented that. Yes, things were overwhelming me, but I could handle it. Indeed, I was about to protest, but he stopped me with one gesticulation of his hand. "Instead of arguing with me, why not just tell me what's really bothering you, Renesmee?"

Things fell dramatically silent then. I opened my mouth to say something, but immediately closed it. I didn't know what to say to that. Obviously, we knew that was really bothering me, but I was irrationally furious and equally humiliated at the same time. Furious because I was so annoyingly obvious and predictable, and humiliated because I knew we weren't alone in this conversation. Without thinking to do so, my prodigious audible range picked up on slight movements downstairs. Movements that clearly feigned uninterest for this conversation, which was coinsidentally occurring right above for the little eavesdroppers.

My eyes flashed back to Jasper. He was so calm, so understanding, despite picking up on the torment that was of course emanating from me, like the deluge of rain outside.

And like the unfathomable downpour outside, I let it all out then. "I'm just...this whole situation... I can't see us winning. I can't see you and Ali disappearing and finding our salvation." I heard Nahuel chuckle lightly from somewhere below us, but I ignored it. "I can't seem to _not_ think about my family's safety and I can't seem to shift this eerie sense of de ja vu, uncle Jazz. That weird feeling at the pit of my stomach, sensing-

"...something bad is coming." He finished for me. I let out an exhausted sigh and was secretly relieved I didn't have to say that part out aloud. "I know that feeling all too well." He continued, "You've been feeling like that for over a month now. Strange. Even before we found out about this Nayha, you seemed to know 'something bad was coming...' I wonder if it's your subconscious warning you in advance of future dangers... Hmm. I've never heard of prophetic emotions. Certainly, the instinctual fight or flight responces, yes. But this exudes more, Nessie."

I shrugged, brushing off the ceaseless awe always evident in evey family member when they talk about my wierd capabilites. When I was growing up, we all thought that there was no rhyme or reason behind what I could do. Along side other things, the natural gifts I was born with, with exerted practise, I could momentarily reverse them. This confused Edward and my granddad. "It's a gift and a curse." I mused.

For the first time that night, amusement lit up the amber flecks in his eyes. "What else is bothering you?"

"Nothing. I've said all I need to say."

He eyed me sceptically. "Ellaborate then."

Sensing he wouldn't let this go, I reluctantly continued. "I mean, I guess things could be worse. Mom could be sending me away...with money and two tickets to wherever it is I'm meant to flee to. But...Oh wait. I guess it's _dad's _turn to play mom." That mental note I made earlier was instantly notched up to second place on my _things-to-do_ list when I got home to Seattle. My first, being a mountian of laundry that was desperately craving some attention.

I examined my uncle apprehensively. Still, he said nothing, waiting for me to get it off my chest. In all honesty, I hadn't realised there was more to say until Jasper's profile began to become annoyingly obscured. It was then that I noticed the deluge of tears that were now falling like a torrent down my face, down past my trembling lips and hitting my iron clasped hands, which were on my lap.

"And..." he prodded gently, wanting me to obviously continue.

"And...I'm scared. Petrified actually." I choked, wiping the idiot tears away. God, how many times had I cried already?

"I can see that." Jasper said softly, "But interestingly not for your own life?"

I shook my head slowly, trying to figure out how to answer his next question this the best way I knew how. "I'm scared for Jake." I confessed. Really, I should be petrified for everyone, _not _just him, but knowing that this thing has taken to an unnatural fascination with him, how could I not? How could I not be fiercely responsive to that fact? It felt like I couldn't breathe. "I know what you must think of me." I said quietly. Like a coward, rather than looking straight at him, I focused my attention on a patch of white carpet three inches away from his left foot. "I know you pick up on_ things_ from me... even whenever anyone mentions his name..." I looked up at him then, determined to see this through. I was surpsied to see him look confused, amused and slightly taken aback by the whole sorry excuse for an explanation. "I just want you to know I know it's wrong and I'm trying to fix it. I'm working on it-"

His quiet laugh interrupted me, "Nessie, stop." I observed in mild shock as he sniggered to himself before shaking his head. He took in my bewildered expression and most likely thought that perhaps I expected a different reaction from him. He'd be right in thinking it.

In fact, something along the lines of 'major awkwardness,' would be understandable. "Nessie, I'm sure you're aware of..." He broke off, struggling to word something. I knew this all too well. Jasper was in _Tutor-mode._ "There are things in this world, that you've yet to fully..._ know_ of. Things you won't be able to explain with simple facts and figures, with statistics or the sciences... there are things simply out of our control. Instinctual things. Unexpected things."

I nodded, trying to go with the flow, but if I'm honest, he lost me when he first adressed me. Sensing my confusion, he laughed a little uncomfortably. Despite the obvious discomfort that I didn't quite understand, it was a beautifully infectious sound- something I sometimes struggled to wrap my head around. It was simply beautiful and warm and_ familiar._ In essence, it reminded me of my childhood. A time when all I could really hear was laughter emanating from all corners of the house, usually at the expense of yours truly.

"Oh. That's enigmatic. That's textbook enigmatic."

He bit his lips, trying to supress the extent of his humour from the looks of it. "Please ellaborate?" I requested. I needed to know what he was trying to imply with his ambiguous explanation. It was making my head hurt.

"Er...well..._Love."_ He answered. Again, i didn't miss how strangely, uncharacterstically squirmy he was being. "For example." He added as an after thought. "Sometimes we can't explain why we feel certain things, but we know there's usually a reason behind it..." He trailed off, not wanting to say anything further. "Just know you have nothing to expplain to me, Nessie. What you feel...they're you're own. Never feel that you need to justify anything to me... I'm just sorry your father and I can't give you the much needed privacy during this time of...confusion for you. For what it's worth, we're not judging you. We don't hate you. What you feel... it should never be construed as something wrong or disgusting."

Before, when I thought I was confused... that was_ nothing_ to how I felt now. What was he trying to say? That I shouldn't feel bad for feeling the way I did for Jake? Okay, that was obvious.

"Do you believe in fate, Renesmee?"

I had to think about that one. "I do."

"Why?"

"Because everyone in this house is proof, in my opinion, that fate supplied a helping hand. Take you and aunt Ali for example." Jasper raised a curious brow, but was more attentive than ever. "Well, she saw _you _at that diner. You and you alone. Her future. And then you...you just had a strange feeling you had to be there, right? You felt a much needed change in your life. In your diet..."

He grinned, lost down memory lane right now. I thought I'd let him have a moment as I was all too aware of their love story. Jasper had found Alice waiting patiently for him at a diner in Philadelphia because she had seen him in a vision. Of her future. He was her future.

"You remember the story I told you?" He asked, looking at me and flashing what my mother called a dazzling smile.

Of course I did. Alongside Tennyson's works, it was one of my favourate bedtime stories, so, I nodded. "Yes sir. Alice said 'It's about time you showed up. You kept me waiting.' And then you said something along the lines of 'I'm sorry ma'am.' Because you couldn't be impolite to a _lady._'" I laughed. It sounded more like a giggle. "I love it. She told you about the Cullens and their diet. You went with her and you both...fell in love. That's just so...romantic, uncle Jazz!" I sighed.

He flashed another dazzling grin, clearly transported back to another time, another place. "The best day of my life was meeting your aunt in that diner. Aside from meeting another little lady with a set of lungs on her when she wanted her mother to hold her of course. Such a brat, even back then." He teased. "What else?"

I remembered Rose and uncle Em's unique story. Rosalie had saved him from a near-death bear mauling and literally carried his large form a hundred miles to where my father and the family resided at the time. She did so in the hopes that granddad could change him in time because she felt she didn't have the self control or the capabilities to do so herself. "Rosie saved uncle Em." I answered simply. Despite the obvious pain and the extreme difficulties, my aunt just had to save the man who reminded her of a little boy she always longed for. I recall the words she had used years ago when she had inadvertantly intergected my path to the freezer in the middle of the night and decided to narrate her story. At the time, I was far too tired to protest and ended up slumped on the island listening to her enthralling story whilst casually sipping some warm O negative. "_With those dark curls...the dimples that showed even while he grimaced in pain...the strange innocence that seemed so out of place on a grown man's face...he reminded me so much of Vera's little Henry._"

"He didn't have to fall in love with her once he woke up, but he did. That story kind of reminds me of _Sleeping Beauty."_ I mused out loud. Every visit to La Push, Claire would literally make me sit through it, threatening to not eat for a week if I didn't appreciate Disney's originals. "Emmett being Princess Aurora though." I finished.

_"Huh."_ Jasper's voice wobbled in amusement. "Make sure you let him know that, honey. He'd love that."

"But then, who _wouldn't _fall in love with Aunt Rose, I mean...c'mon...she's just..."

Jasper's quiet laugh interrupted my babble again, and he fell back against the white sofa with a loud 'thump.' "What?" I asked, confused.

"Edward." He replied, looking up at me in amusement.

What about him?

"You asked, 'who wouldn't fall for Rose.' Well, the answer is your dad."

For a moment I didn't really know how to react to this new little tidbit. After registering it however, I think I just laughed in disbelief.

Ew. Edward and Rosie? Dad and my Aunt who was practically my 'Other Mother?'

I mean, I was aware my family all have their own history- some centuries old- belonging before their ever was a Cullen clan to even speak ofm but picturing my father with another woman- a life before my mother- I frowned. It was disgruntling for me.

"Carlisle turned her originally for Edward. He was worried for him- being so alone- and wanted him to have someone too apparently."

I mentally shuddered at that. Whilst I knew granddad had good intentions, and I was sad daddy had to wait so long for mom, I couldn't help 'ew-ing' at it. Good things come to those who wait.

"From day one, they couldn't stand eachother though." Uncle Jazz continued, "Always at eachother's throats. Always squabbling. The way siblings do. They only ever care for eachother in that sense..."

I considered this new information and didn't quite know what to do with it. "Huh. Did _not _know that..."

He smiled. "What else?"

Relieved at the change of subject, "Grampa saved Grams." Actually, Esme first met Carlisle, at the age of sixteen, after breaking her leg while playing in a tree. Coinsidentally a decade later, in a bid to hide from an abusive relationship and begin a new life with the child she was carrying, she had moved into the very same town granddad was currently working in. I always thought this wasn't simply coincidence.

Thought dead from the fall, my grandfather had saved her by declaring her dead at the scene and immediately taking her dying form to the morgue where he would later change her in a bid to alleviate her suffering. "She was so sad after she lost her baby...and he gave her three sons and daughters for all eternity." I finally announced. Whilst it hurt to think of my grandmother -my loving grandmother, was ever so distaught, experiencing a pain that made her so desperate to end her own misery on a clifface, it occured to me that Carlisle had offered her a life full of love, of family and bonds that were virtually unbreakable. He gave her sons and daughters for all eternity and I couldn't help smiling at that thought.

Though I knew she had suffered a loss no mother should ever have to suffer, I was glad they, my grandparents, eventually found eachother. Albeit the circumstances were awful, but they found eachother. And whilst I knew we could never replace the little baby boy she yearned to protect, a child she had lost to an agressive lung infection days after his premature birth, we were the Cullens. We loved each other just as fiercely and shared a bond as any biological family would share.

"Don't foget a grandchild." Jasper casually interrupted my private musings.

"Huh?"

"You forget yourself too often, Renesmee."

A slight overlook. "Oh. Yeah. Right. A grandchild too. So that leaves mom and dad..." Interestingly, there was very little about their story that I knew. "All I know is the year mom decided not to visit grandpa Charlie anymore, was the year you guys decided to reside in Forks. Had dad met her earlier, she would've been way too young for him to have romantic feelings for her...Maybe they wouldn't've loved eachother that way. Then I wouldn't've happened and let's face it- that in itself is a great loss to the world."

"Of course," He humoured me.

"Who else would have midnight drag races with Emmett?" Unbeknown to Edward, who, when they weren't attending night classes, was usually preoccupied with mom round about this time. In my head, this meant playing a gripping game of all night _Go Fish._ Nothing else. _Nothing _else.

"Me." Jasper replied a little on the indulgent side. "But Emmett likes beating you. Makes him feel good."

I ignored him, "Who else would want to help Grams in the garden when no one else wants to get their pretty hands dirty?"

"Oho. You_ like_ helping her, Nessie. And as I recall, she never actually asks for help. She's perfectly content tending to it all by herself. She enjoys it. In fact, it's you who usually messes her flower beds up, pruning the wrong things, but for some reason, she likes you babbling away when she's tending to her roses."

Again, I ignored him and the sensation of violent red washing over my face and neck. I didn't know I couldn't prune. "Who else would go giddy shoe shopping with Ali? Or help Rosie with tuning the cars?"

He snorted.

"All because fate helped momma delay her imminent stay at Forks. So, yeah. It was all about the timing for those two crazy kids."

"Okay." He slowly conceded, the obvious amusement in his voice not going anywhere. I frowned at that. "Interesting. I don't think anyone's actually picked up on that... huh. Interesting." He repeated, more to himself.

"I don't know." I shrugged. Of course I knew of the vampires that were after my human mother, but I didn't really know of _their _love story. The specfics. "When I can stomach the details, I'll ask them one day..."

"Understandable."

"Yup. So, everyone's story entails fate or a helping hand of some sort... It's because of you guys, I believe that soulmates exist in the first place actually."

Jasper smiled warmly from where he was sitting then. I didn't overlook the paranoia he was trying to hide as he swept the woods periodically, though. "You'll get to write your own story one day, Nessie. I promise."

"Hmm. Maybe." I wasn't going to hold my breath. That way, less dissapointment.

"You're only ten. How can _that_ amount of cynicism emanate from a young'n like you?" He shook his head in disbelief as I tried my best to wipe away my embarassment again. I forgot he could feel that.

"I'm aware that time means very little for our kind, but I have to ask..." He continued, ignoring my swelling redness. It's like eating pringles. Once I start, I can't stop. "When you see yourself in another ten years time, Renesmee... Where will you be? What are you doing? Who are you with? What do you_ feel?" _

For a brief moment, I considered his questions and I honestly didn't know. I'd like to say, I was in a great place in my life. Being twenty, for a hybrid was like hitting middle age.

I snorted at that. Middle age. My mother hadn't hit middle age yet. The same couldn't be said for daddy though.

On a serious note, being married with at least one kid at that age was simply a bizarre, unrealistic concept for me, but one I'd secretly love to see myself in. Was it wrong for me to want that? Certainly, it was strange. Not because twenty is young for a girl to not only get married but have a child, because I'm sure the masses would most likely agree, but if I'm honest with myself, it would be like judging Bella for choosing to have me at such a young age.

So, no. I didn't care so much about that. Not only because of mom, but because _really_, it didn't apply to me. The age thing that is. Not to the extent it would a normal human girl. I was after all, a completely unchanging, unageing immortal now.

What I supposed was unlikely and bizarre for me about that whole _married-with-child _concept was the fact I was immortal, and I resented the idea of history repeating itself and for me to fall head over heels with a human. I wouldn't do that to an innocent. Condemn him to a life of_ this _all in the name of love?

I didn't judge or fault my father as I don't think you can really help who you fall for. Humans however, were just out of the question for me as -if they chose to love me and continue loving me- they in turn, would become vampires. And for some reason, I found vampires strangely unnattractive. They just did nothing for me. I think it's partly because I'm reminded often of dad, Emmett and Jasper everytime I look at one -so all vampire-boys are just...no.

So then who does that leave me with? No humans. No vampires. So what, shifters?

I snorted at that too. Hell would freeze over before one of the guys from Jake's pack found a daughter of a_ vampire _attractive. Particularly one that defined the word overbearing, read minds and would most likely check out their personal and/or criminal records to satisfy his own curiosities. Most guys would run a mile.

Then of course there are boys of my own kind. Nahuel to be more specific. I'm aware that there's a much anticipated romantic stigma associated with my friendship with Nahuel. Mainly a candle held by Rose.

This was initially amusing- entertaining even. But it now bothers me.

As much as I love him, I can't _fall_ for him. Not for the reasons the mass expect for us to. I'm the only female of our kind that isn't related to him and vice versa. Does that somehow justify us being together? Would anyone even call that love? Was that fair for either of us? The answer to all three is a sincere, emphatic, unequivocal no.

To a closet romantic like me, it just seems too convinient of a love. By default, we get eachother? No. We both deserve better than that. Should a day come when and if we genuinely fall for one another, then that would be nice, but personally, I just can't see it ever happening. We love eachother as friends should. Solely platonically.

So my surfiet of problems in the love department- of future marriage is mainly contiguous to the fact that I really_ do_ doubt i'll ever find it.

At the back of my mind, there was another thought regarding my decade-later scenario. Despite having regular menstrual cycles, I just wasn't sure my unchanging body was capable of carrying a child to full trimester. Then of course I knew of my peers. Giselle, Aina and Maya who are all noticeably older than me, yet have chosen to live a life much like aunt Tanya's and the Denali coven. They had a soft spot for human men. And to my knowledge, had no interest in creating a family. Amazingly, they didn't even know if it was even possible for them. Something that -to this day- amazes me. Giselle, the oldest out of the sisters, has more than sixty years on me, and she doesnt know if she can bare children, despite having regular cycles.

It was all just so depressing.

"When you answer these, you'll be more aware of how much more_ clearer_ things are ...how things are more obvious for you. Perhaps a little perspective is needed to gain a bit of clarification, I don't know." He shrugged.

Feeling more confused and abased than ever, I let my thoughts slip back to more pleasent things. Like what happened over an hour ago involving my newfound bunny boiler, for example.

I groaned inwardly as reverted back to my patient files.

I honestly didn't understand how she could just up and leave like that. I was disgruntled and equally perturbed by the very real fact that even _Grandma_ couldn't pick up her scent. How was that even possible? And what about Embry? _Where was he? _Was he okay?

"Renesmee, is there anything else you want to talk about?"

In response, I merely shook my head, my brownish-auburn tendrils getting in my face. "No. I'm fine. Just stressed out over upcoming exams." I lied, knowing full well, I wasn't fooling anyone.

***

Thirty-two minutes and forty-nine point two-nine seconds later, I grew bored looking at case studies, and with Jasper in tow; I made my way downstairs to find my mom and aunts conveniently arriving through the front door.

They were all dripping wet. Their clothes impossibly saturated with rainwater. As I continued down the stairs, noting Jasper already enveloping Alice in a crushing embrace at the bottom. The potent smell of the damp, earthy scent slowly permeated the air between my aunts and me.

Before our eyes could even meet, I felt my mother's form darting unswervingly towards me, pulling me into an iron-grip clinch. I gasped for air slightly winded by the gripping affection. "I didn't want you to leave, without saying..." she broke off, taking an unnecessary breath against my skin.

Standing at five foot ten, my mother's head rested comfortably on the crook of my neck. Strangely, growing up, it was always my head, resting on hers. It had always been so, up until I gained full maturity reaching my seventh year of existence.

As we had less than seven hours left until our flight, and they had to get back to combing the forests, closing in on the main house I supposed, this was most likely the only chance I got before I left for Europe.

I showed her this through projection.

She smiled, looking up. "It won't be long until you're back. Think of it as a holiday."

I forced a smile of my own in feigned agreement. There was a look of suppressed torture I couldn't ignore in her eyes as she met mine. She didn't want me leaving her as much as I couldn't stand the thought of leaving.

"I'll see you soon." She whispered, the soft distress in her voice, potent. I didn't like goodbyes either. "I'm so sorry, baby. I know you didn't want to leave Jake, but even _he _feels comfortable with you gone right now."

I felt a gut-wrenching jerk from within- something quite literally sinking so painfully inside, as I processed her words. So I was right. He didn't want me here?

She looked confused as she processed my look of silent hurt. "You didn't know?" She asked, briefly exchanging a questioning look with her husband.

Dad too, was strangely submissive, leant up against the window wall again as I followed her eyes. I could tell in that moment, in her quiet confusion, she had retracted her shield for them to silently communicate.

She turned to face me again, a look of resolution in her eyes. Must've been an interesting one-way conversation. "Nessie, Jake came up with the idea for us getting you out of here _all on his own_."

_What_? So this wasn't all Edward?

Just as my thoughts grew pregnant, I felt my father's hands momentarily in my hair, and he leaned in and wrapped his arms around the both of us. I realised then, that the last time this happened –this group hug- was a much happier time -the day of my graduation a few months ago. _Strange._

"Bella," he began, and I tore my unseeing eyes away from my mother's anxious ones to look up at him. "Bella, you've blown the cover, love." He forced a laugh, kissing her hair.

I however, was way far gone, processing everything for a moment.

So it _was_ his idea. _Jake's_ idea. Why would he do this to me? I knew why of course. They all wanted me safe and out of the way in case things escalated. Jake was no different. In fact, before I came to know of this from Bella, I knew he would be the ringleader in keeping me safe.

I swallowed back the painful lump in my throat; a pain I knew wasn't induced by my usual thirst for blood. In fact, momentarily suppressing the urge to sob, I just felt numb.

Through my tear-glazed eyes, I briefly looked at my uncle, aware it must've been his doing. Jasper just shrugged and stared back, looking as if he was exuding great effort.

"He got us thinking that because Nayha is _after you_-" mom continued, drawing my attention back on her.

That's what i don't get.

"But _why_ is she after me?" I interrupted, "Surely she'd be after _all _of us if she had a problem with us as a collective?" It only made sense.

"It's a little more complicated than that, sweetheart." She replied, flashing me a sympathetic smile.

I was growing a little impatient with the look of remorse; of empathy she was showing me. Particularly since I didn't know why...

I mean, if I knew maybe I'd feel sorry for myself too. "Then explain. I've got about six hours to spare, mom."

She sighed. "Don't be like that, Nessie. Jacob loves you and doesn't want you anywhere near Forks, right now. He's just worried. Actually, he was kind of feeling stupid for not coming up with the idea before now."

I wasn't going to lie, as much as I knew he was only looking out for me, because he loved me, knowing that Jacob wanted me out of the country hurt like hell. It was irrational and completely childish, but hard to ignore.

"Hell, he's so desperate to keep you alive; he doesn't want you in the country. Not with Nayha out there…" she continued.

I swallowed back that annoyingly painful lump again.

"He just wants you safe." She soothed, her strained smile not quite reaching her eyes. "Alive and breathing. You know you would do the same thing if the shoe was on the other foot."

This was certainly true to the core, but I couldn't take this anymore.

***

Ensuring my mother was the last person I touched, I made a concerted effort to focus on how she worked in order to emulate her shield. As a child I had always been a curious infant. My 'hacker gifts' as Eleazar dubbed my ability during my childhood years previously, further stimulated my natural curiosity to not only impregnate anyone with my thoughts, my feelings, but to also understand how individuals worked in the psyche and that in turn, endorsed the ability to generate a variation of their gifts. It was almost like a deviate product running along the same premise. Interestingly it was always usually their latent, _human _ability amplified to a certain degree that I would project.

We joined the rest of the family in the living area where, wordlessly, my father handed me my passport and a ridiculously hefty stash of cash to put away in my side pouch. As unenthusiastic as I was holding so much cash on me, Edward took it upon himself to just force the money into my bag. "Jasper and Emmett have more if you need-"

"Dad, I got it." I interrupted, taking the money willingly enough, if only to _not_ look at it. That much cash, it was a little disgruntling to say the least. "There must be thousands here." I observed incredulously, "Exactly what do you expect me to do over there? Shop 'til I drop?"

For the first time that day, Edward cracked a _real_ smile. When I say smile, it was more like a teasingly small curvature of the corners. "Whatever makes you happy." He replied, "Though I wouldn't want you to go too crazy."

"Naturally." I replied, bowing my head out of feigned civility. "Not too crazy."

He ignored my mock imitation however, "And you absolutely mustn't leave without your uncles. You can't go anywhere without them, Nessie."

I handed him back some of the handout and shot him an exasperated look. I had my own stash I saved up when I started DJ-ing at Dartmouth two years ago. _That_ hadn't seen the light of day actually. Sponging off of dad all my life, gave me this tendency to display a sense of laziness in visiting the bank. Apparently I had an emergency trust fund too. One I didn't want to think about, as I knew what that was set up for.

A cold hand cupped my face now. It made my brows knot in momentary confusion, because I didn't really like anyone touching my face. It was a foreign feel. And the irony of feeling this way, wasn't lost on me. Dad forced me to meet his eyes. "Renesmee,_ please, _just promise me you won't go anywhere without either of them?"

Huh. That would only leave me with ample hours of darkness. "I promise what I'm making you do," _-What Jake's making me do, I thought a little bitterly-_ "Yes. _Jacob._ It's for your best interests, Renesmee. You might not like it right now, but it's the right thing for you. Jacob knows this. He understands." He assured me, slipping the unwanted cash back inside my backpack.

As irrational as I knew I sounded, I just couldn't help moaning. "Then I'm really going through with this, aren't I, Dad?"

There was clearly no way out of it.

***

There were a few limiting hours left before our flight. This seemed to steel my resolve. If I intended to make my decision to find Jacob plausible, it was either now or never. Struggling to maintain my mother's latent shield, I centred it at the forefront of my mind. I was all too aware of how curiously silent my usually strident mind would be to my father. He usually said mine was the loudest out of everyone. 'A casket full of imagination,' was how he worded it once.

Taking full advantage of the soppy fluff exchanged between the various couples now, I yanked a taken-aback-Nahuel aside and made my way out the back door, towards Grandma's new greenhouses.

I ran, hauling him along with me, noticing only vaguely that it had stopped raining.

Each of the couples were so engrossed in needing to be in each other's arms, I felt I needed to find my own set of arms to be in and I'm sure Nahuel didn't mind leaving the various categories constituting as public displays of affection. Usually all forms of PDA supplied by parents in particular, elicited a reflexive urge to just…gag. Today however, it was just convenient. I steered Nahuel towards the thick, thicket of dampened foliage I knew, was my path in finding Jake.

I began running in the direction of La Push. "Err…Bambi, do you want to let me in on what we're currently partaking in?" he called after me, easily keeping pace.

"Not right now, no, Chica." I replied, hauling him further still, away from the grand house and further into the densely populated woodland. I set the pace: as fast we could physically handle. A congested blur of greys, browns and greens dominated my inherent ability to detail my surroundings through my peripheral. "We're going to go find Jacob." I elaborated, when I knew we were far enough away that they would've only just realised our absence.

I took the silence as confirmation that Nahuel was unimpressed and in my cowardice, raced on ahead, not wanting to bare the brunt of his reaction.

This didn't go a miss by him however and he abruptly stopped dead in his tracks. I too immediately followed suite and turned to expect the worst. I wondered how long it'd take Edward to track us.

I found Nahuel pursing his lips, deep in thought. "Explain to me why I would want to go out of my way to find your pet?"

I walked my way back to him, "Because he'd do the same for you," I responded candidly. That was completely true. He would.

Nahuel scoffed. "_Of course._ Just as I'm sure _Giselle_ would want to willingly plait braids with you and play tea party."

He certainly had a point. Giselle was Nahuel's sister. The oldest out of three. Her love for me could be compared to the love the repressed Jewish would no doubt declare for Hitler's _Mein Kamf._ That said however, I would've thought in a moment of crisis, she and I would be able to work together…

"He's lost, I'm sure he'll come sniffing back!"

I just stared at him, unimpressed. These dog jokes were getting a little boring.

"Always does." He added as an amusing after thought.

I groaned inwardly. "Look, Nahuel, we don't have much time before my family realise we're not home. That's if they haven't already, which I'm sure they have."

"You're babbling."

"I've got about a few hours left until we have to leave for the airport…" And I truthfully couldn't leave without seeing him. "Now, if it was the other way round and I came looking for you –I don't doubt the fact he'd want to help." I defended simply. "He'd do that, regardless of your relationship." This fact, I knew to be true. "I'm certain of it actually."

Before he could even respond to this however, I didn't give him the chance to complain and resumed my running. Looking rather perturbed, he reluctantly followed suit. Together we resumed our hunt for the pack. I concentrated on tracking any familiar scents –Embry, Seth…_Jake._

By my side and keeping up effortlessly, I could tell from Nahuel's concerted expression that he was quietly considering my words of principle, "Yes," he finally conceded, as we carefully orientated our way through the dense underbrush, "but don't confuse it with him doing it for me. He's not the hero you make him out to be. Of that, I'm sure."

No, I couldn't believe that. "He'd do it nonetheless." I replied flatly, skipping effortlessly over a fallen tree branch.

"Perhaps." Nahuel accepted, following closely. "But I highly doubt he'd do it for _me_."

"I don't believe that." I argued, ducking under a low branch.

"I didn't say you had to, Whelp." He smirked, deliberately darting ahead of me.

I ground my teeth, at his impossibly infuriating nickname for me and was hot in pursuit. The name was in reference to my hanging out with wolves.

We ran in quiet complacence the rest of the way, ducking, flipping and swerving fluidly amongst the dense underbrush like professional gymnasts. Though this obviously came more naturally to us as opposed to the years of practiced physical fitness and trained endurance.

My thoughts were back on what I saw several hours ago in my room. Nayha lived a callously driven life. A life shadowed by dark appetites and veiled by fractured conceptions. It was a life dependant on a dangerously private vice. A dangerous vice may be, but I could imagine living the way she did was simply a necessity- an addiction for such a capable Succubus. Perhaps a dependancy as potent as my need for Jacob.

Then of course, there were her poor, unsuspecting victims. Men my grandfather knew. Married men, family men, men who seemed to have everything to live for.

I imagined, _for them_, a long night and an impossibly beautiful, mysterious stranger wouldn't ever constitue an odd set of circumstances that would herald their sudden deaths. Though I had to ask myself: did they even have a choice in sleeping with her? After all, she dominated their senses and consummed their minds.

For three weeks whilst my family were blindly trying to track Nayha, I was quietly reeling inside. I knew of course, that our kind weren't usually the good guys. Of course we weren't. This shouldn't really bother me as much as it does, though.

The sad fact was we _were_ monsters. Something to fear. As much as we lived in civility, capable of loving eachother as family, our kind was naturally the most powerful preditors in existence. Preferring to live alone and quenching our thirsts by feeding on humans.

So why then, should this come as a shock to me? It was naïve of me to think anything different. In fact, in my world, this situation -these spates of deaths in Forks- should be or become more _depressingly_ familiar considering I plan on living forever.

I noticed through my peripheral that Nahuel was far too absorbed in tracking the familiar scents I too was trying to pick up. A strange, prevailing appreciation for my friend consumed me in that moment._ I owed him big time._

After several careful minutes of swiftly picking our way through the dampened foliage to locate a recognizable trail -_anyone,_ we finally found ourselves running along the borders of La Push.

I knew my family would unquestionably be following my track, or would be soon if they hadn't already, so time was simply against me to just stand around and wait. With my preternatural senses devouring what lay before me, I took in a hungry breath of air.

The rain made the air thick- satiated with the earth's natural scents, refined and intensified tenfold.

After several concentrated minutes, Nahuel helped me locate a recent trail of anyone from Jake's pack. It was naïve of me to feel like I wanted to help bring this slutty leech down. I knew this. But then I also knew that I was _immune_ to what she could do. If she was looking for me, which I had no doubt about now, then surely she would show herself to me?

For three weeks this thing caused a mass of human deaths. Deaths that could've been avoided had we found her sooner. Now that it was clear to my family she wanted me, I had to do my part to ensure she was caught, right?

It was simply imperative we find her.

In any case, it was just a case of physically kicking a _full_ Vampire's butt, which was an issue for me. I tried not to think about the very real fact that she was one sadistic pup.

Quickly pacing ourselves on familiar land, heading westward, we eventually came across a trail of recognizable scents.

To my relief, they were recent.

* * *

Author's Note: So Contagious –Acceptance.

**Are you sick of the lack of Jessie moments?** So am I. Next chapter. I promise. Aha.

Also, a big thanks to pinkpower, my ever perceptive and _ingenious_ beta. You know you're a cool gal, right Jenna? Ed steadying nessie was all you!

I totally added the Jasper coversation after I gave my work to her. meep. I just thought, there was a reason I put Jasper in that sitaution. I just failed to elab, believing it would deviate from the general plot -which I_ know_ it does. lawl.

Also, a warm thanks to Jessieluver. I hope you get this!

I dont get much out of this, so RnR perlease! I'd much appreciate it. :)

xoxo


	5. Chapter 5 Breathing Underwater

Chapter 5- Breathing Underwater

Author's Note:

_Warning,_ strong language used later on in the chapter.

To quote Bella 'Holy Crow!' This is a wopping chapter! Sorry! I really can't shut up it seems. It's like double the effing length. To be fair, it's because I _did _promise Jake would be in this chap. Aha. People are gonna HATE how sneaky I am in incorporating the Jake character in this.

Do let me know if you have any problems understanding anything – if the latter half of the chapter (I'm not telling you what it's about for fear it'll ruin it or you…) is confusing. I briefly referred back to BD, to see how sm wrote certain interactions…but yeah…the interactions via thought between certain characters may be confusing to follow. I tried to clarify as much as I could, but I don't wanna make it obnoxiously clear, you know?

Also, a smexy thank you to my delish beta, pinkpower. thanks, bud. ;)

* * *

***

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.

**Edgar Allan Poe**,

_"Eleonora"_

***

* * *

Briefly I was floored, as the sudden recognition simply overwhelmed every rational thought.

In that moment I was literally consumed by the very real fact I may've inadvertently stumbled on something my family were struggling to find for weeks now.

My face felt permanently set into a visor of focus.

Though my concentration was total, I knew all too well how I wasn't as strong as my parents, my family. I wasn't going to let that stop me. I was strong enough to propel myself with a hungry, heated force, pushing myself.

Quileute land was familiar to me. In a way, it felt like a home away from home. I grew up commuting across the old 'treaty line' since we left to live a quiet life in New Hampshire eight years ago. I could smell the hint of _wolf_ in the breeze blowing feverishly from the east and desperately darted in my search to find the unmistakable sources.

Only consciously aware of overtaking Nahuel in only a few bounds, I left him all but in the dust with a few more strides. We had no time to waste. I'm sure now, noticing my absence, my family was a blur of action.

"Wait! Nessie, not on your own!" he called back, forcibly pushing himself, and trying to catch up.

It was interesting for my family to notice out of the five known _living _hybrids, Nahuel was the strongest out of us all –though that could be purely because he's the only known male in our species; it also appeared I was the fastest.

Carlisle theorized that as Damphir children exhibited a strong tendency to take after their Vampire father, they often inherited diluted attributes of their powerful fathers. Edward was the fastest in our family. Possibly fast even by vampire standards. This apparently was enough evidence to provide an explanation as to why I displayed an innate ability to run so fast –faster than any of the others, leaving them to eat my dust.

"I'm just getting started." I responded, my lungs feeling a blaze, painfully disagreeing with my sheer force of will. I was really pushing my limits.

I raced through the thick forest, pushing, diving, leaping bounds and taking the liberty to occasionally breathe and ensure I was on the right track. Their scents were largely potent, captivating my senses in the thick, heady Forksian air.

"Nessie, wait. We have to think in line with this killer." Nahuel said, his voice small and in the distance.

This was certainly true, I silently conceded. It could be a trap. _No, it most likely was._

I had heard of my Mother's attempts to save my human grandmother Renee, from a sadistic Vampire named James long ago. Of course, a ploy I actually had nightmares about often. My human mother facing a Vampire sent a chilling sense of utter dread.

So now, I wasn't as naïve enough to not think that at the end to this trail, I'd most likely be facing my own demise. This rather morbid thought had occurred to me, but as reckless as it was going to sound, I just _didn't care._ If it meant stopping this man-eating, self-obsessed narcissist from killing more innocence, then it was a chance I'd take to do what was right.

Call it bravery, or utter stupidity on my part –I'm inclined to go with the latter as I'm sure Edward will do if I'm ever confronted by the wrath of my father, but I couldn't explain why I simply had to see Jacob. Something inside of me just couldn't let that need subside. It was something I knew all too well about addiction. It never ends well. And it certainly wouldn't allow me to.

"This could be a trap." Nahuel called from behind again.

"Maybe." I said, not stopping. "But there's no other scents other than Embry and Seth's so far."

This was true. Why were they on their own?

Only now had I noticed we were closer to the river- not far from my parent's cottage. Had we just ran back in a circle?

I was so unbelievably absorbed in our recent finds, that I hadn't really taken note of where I was actually running to. In fact, Seth and Embry's trail I noticed, had curled into a wide arc, stretching first westwards before heading south on the other side of the river…

_Where were they going?_

Nahuel caught up with me then and yanked me back east again for another few miles. I realised now, we were involuntarily circling Cullen land. "What are they playing at?" Nahuel asked, sounding as confused as I felt.

I was about to answer with an '_I haven't the slightest inkling'_ but abruptly got caught off guard with another overwhelmingly familiar scent. "Did you catch that?" I asked, gesturing to the northwest.

Another trail.

_Leah._

"Let's just focus on these two." Nahuel ordered tersely. "No running off. We have to remain together."

We slowed down momentarily and I observed as Nahuel took the opportunity to be extra vigilant. His head swept from side to side, waiting for the trail to turn again.

Then like a rain of bricks, the potent smell of wolf suddenly became decidedly stronger, ensuing Nahuel's cautious eyes to snap up and narrow. We both came to a sudden stop.

We stood in a familiar arrowhead shaped clearing.

And then a sudden spout of recognition -a sense of deja vu consumed my scattered thoughts. The place we stood in front seemed grossly familiar to me. I was sure we came here long ago. In fact it was snowing –the first time I had witnessed such a thing. The fallen flakes held a one-and-a-half-year-old looking me captivated. I was completely mesmerized _-fascinated_ with it. I remember playing in the snow. _Jacob was there._

_Jacob._

_My Jacob._

Honestly, the unrelenting need for him -the silent anguish was almost becoming unrecognisable to me now. Was this even an addiction anymore? A guilty pleasure turned so very _wrong_? Wrong. This was so wrong.

I was in agony. Was that even possible to feel? To feel physical pain when you're away from your best friend –your _mother's _best friend? This wasn't normal. I was sure my body reacting the way it was -permitting my mind to recognise and distinguish physical pain was just that: _in my mind._

I thought back to my previous thoughts regarding this dependency I had recognised only recently over Jacob. _Often- too often- things that start out as just a normal part of life, at some point cross the line. They cross the line to an obsessive…_compulsive_… out of control dependency._

_Out of control _

…_like an addiction._

Certainly this was true. My need, it was simply unbearable. Overriding everything. Every lone thought, every dream away from home, every forlorn night spent staring longingly at the waning moon…

He was all I could think about.

So now, I knew whatever this was, it was no longer, merely a bodily reaction. It was now a _part _of me –an extension of who I was.

The pain, the dependency – I couldn't control the fresh, all-consuming tsunami – the avalanche of waves that threatened to crush me. To drown me over and over again.

Because in reality, this is precisely what this was. A natural disaster. An attack. And I was drowning. Drowning because I couldn't fight the current, the crushing swells, the deluge of sapphire... I couldn't breathe anymore. I was lost.

"Are you okay?"

Nahuel's curious voice had a similar effect to ice cracking as its melts. It drew me back to the here and now. I fractured slightly from the rigid stance I was unconsciously in. I softened. I could breathe again. Abruptly I cleared my throat, silently aware of him staring at me, half curiously amused, half concerned.

"I'm fine." I lied.

I was only now partially aware of how unnaturally quiet it had become. Indeed the silence was almost deafening. Barely breathing, we were simply frozen, fixed in place and waiting for whomever it was to show themselves.

I scanned the surrounding space and took a hesitant step forward. Where were the animals? The wildlife?

Only then had I noticed a large arm force me back as I took in the tranquil scenery before me. Nahuel took a careful, cautious step in front of me, a protective stance held as he took in the approach.

"Show yourself." He ordered. His voice was low and even, potentially threatening, and impressively dangerous.

_Er…what the hell are you doing, nimrod? _I shrieked in my barely processed thoughts.

There was a fresh nous of excitement splintering the caution that was previously on his face. My friend's handsome features were _alive_, his suddenly wide eyes held a fresh wave of… anticipation?

_What the eff? _

"What does it look like, little girl?" he teased a little tersely.

Before we could argue further on this, we were interrupted by something within the dense foliage surrounding the clearing. Immediately, our innate senses took over and our need to detect approaching threats was paramount.

Our aberrant ears caught the unmistakable resonate of a twig snapping in the distance.

As if instinctually, Nahuel narrowed his eyes again, sweeping the clearing once more. "We're not alone." He observed quietly.

Even in my crapping-my-pants-induced state, I couldn't help it:_ No shit, Sherlock. _

He shot me a death glare, "Do you want my help or not, Wench?"

I pursed my lips, not looking away from the clearing.

"I swear _Maya _is never this difficult. And that's usually saying something…" he trailed off.

I stifled a snigger, recalling Nahuel and Maya's many sibling-rivalry-spurred squabbling. Truth be told, I envied that a little.

Observing the unusually quiet surroundings before us, I walked around him to step closer into the empty clearing, all the while, shrugging in nonchalance.

He caught my wrist and yanked me back.

I simply looked at him my eyes, no doubt huge. What was he playing at? Did he not know we simply had no time to dawdle?

"Back up. We wait until _they_ show themselves." He ordered curtly. "Don't you know anything about the rules of warfare? Let them make the first move."

Suppressing the impulse to recite Sun Tzu's_ The Art of War, _I merelynodded in mock obedience.

_Men…_

I decided to share a piece of my mind through projection. _Fine. _I thought, equally as succinct. _Never mind that _Jasper_ – a veteran of a war that shaped American history- tutored me most of my life…_

He ignored me. "I don't get you. I mean, was it not _you _who literally hauled me out of the house -_in the rain-_ just to find your _pet_?" he continued in a murmur, not taking his eyes away from the shadows under the foliage opposite us.

I fought the urge to groan. "Technically, it wasn't raining. And even if it was, does it really matter?"

"Yes."

Slowly, I smiled impishly. "You afraid of getting your hair wet, pretty?"

Still not taking his eyes away from the source of the noise. "As hard as it must be for you to get, whelp, but most people actually take pride in their appearance." He briefly looked me over then, a weird smirk flickering across his fat, smug face. His eyes lingered a few seconds longer on my windswept net of curls I noticed.

With his patent scrutiny of my rat-nest hairdo, I didn't bother suppressing the eye roll this time. That, and secretly I just didn't want to know what the humidity and the running were doing to my naturally wild tresses anyway. "Clearly you don't?"

I didn't choose to say anything. That always annoyed him.

"And did you just call me pretty?" he asked, humour harbouring his tenor.

Again, I chose to ignore him and instead, gestured towards a patch of darkened woodland on the very edges of the glade. I could've sworn I saw something move.

***

I detected his scent before I could truly see him.

"Uncle Seth?" I asked at the open space curiously. "What is this?"

Why was he hiding?

Nahuel turned to ask in a flat voice. "Seth?"

His almost-black orbs were the first things I noticed as Seth's wolf form appeared slowly through the darkened mesh of trees a few hundred yards away, walking strangely towards us. He was flanked on either side by two newer, younger wolves.

Less than a decade had passed since the original pack members had fought alongside my family. I had heard the stories, of course. Sadistic nomads, neurotic, vengeful mates, an army of newborns, and of course the _Volturi _seemed like just another chapter in my parent's stringent love affair of a story.

My morbid curiosities and bedtime stories with Jasper and Emmett were never a comfortable mix for Edward. For a three-year-old-looking child, I simply found my family's life prior to me enthralling. Things certainly got interesting for them before I came along.

Memories of my uncles' telling me hilarious stories of Edward aside however, Sam Uley, the first amongst them all to've changed into a shifter over a decade ago, was now happily married, a father, and ageing alongside his wife, Emily Young. I witnessed in my brief yet customary visits to La Push, that it took Sam two years to avoid his instinctual need to phase. Going against the grain -one's instincts, particularly when vampires come and go, was a difficult feat in itself.

Once a Quileute shifter chose to stop phasing, that was it for him –or her, as the case may be for Leah. They could never return to what they were- their former wolf selves. They would forever remain a normal human, with the shifter gene to pass onto the next generation of warriors.

Next to follow the same premise in life was of course his beta and Jacob's brother-in-law, Paul. Paul's transition was an interesting one to observe from an onlooker like myself. Sometimes I even felt sorry for the guy actually. For one thing, his temperament was usually always so taught, compared to the others. Rachael certainly helped calm him down of course. Actually, she was the only thing he really ever cared to listen to. She had this amazing skill to just be there, and he would just immediately calm himself, a gooey look of affection on his face every time he looked at her.

This was always the case unless I was around. I say this, because for reasons I've yet to fully grasp or comprehend, Paul taking the constant piss out of me, seemed to make him feel better too. I was only happy to oblige if it meant I wouldn't be stuck with Paul's idiot jokes for all eternity. That, and I just didn't want Rachael to look older than him.

Strangely, in a much more broader context, my being there had no affect on the wolves. My presence didn't spur on a new generation of shifters. It was only ever my family –_full vampires- _that they had a natural aversion towards. Though this was interesting to say the least, equally it was an uncomfortable truth I had to accept. Regardless of the fact there were now no ancient wars or treaties to follow, regardless of everyone now being genuine friends and even _family _as the case may be for the Swan and Clearwater's, there was always an innate aversion neither side could really ignore in the long term.

In fact, over the years, rarely did my parents visit Charlie in Forks for fear a proliferation of newer wolves would ensue with their coming advents. They didn't want to ruin anymore Quileute lives.

It was always Edward sending tickets for Charlie and the Clearwater's to come visit us in New Hampshire. The fact we recently moved to Seattle was of course, a blessing for my biological grandfather.

Alongside Sam and Paul, Jared soon followed suit, wanting to live a life with Kim. And before long it gave rise to a trend of sorts for a few of the older one's.

As each year passed, fewer and fewer wolves were left. The previously existing wolf packs that were distinctly two, were now slowly meshing into one. And this lone pack was now Jacob's responsibility.

I never got to find out why there were two packs in the first place. Whenever I asked, I got the impression Jake just didn't want to tell me, so I didn't poke and prod the matter.

It took Seth a while to reach us, even in his wolf form. It was almost as if a crushing weight -too overwhelming, was making him physically struggle with each diffident step.

Worrying, as it was to observe Seth like this, I was equally getting impatient and took a few cautious steps to meet him half way. Nahuel didn't stop me this time.

Initially all I could really feel was relief. Relief at the fact that all this wasn't just a strange dream. Relief that I wasn't going mad and that being inside the house for the passed two days, wasn't somehow damaging me.

I approached the sandy coloured wolf; distantly aware Nahuel refrained from doing the same. The sheer relief came in pummelling swells enveloping me momentarily, until I noticed they stood strangely rigid as we approached.

I swallowed hard. "Uncle Seth?" I asked hesitantly, "What's wrong?"

No longer did I want to think. I wanted to be in motion. I wanted my arms around Jake. I wanted to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was safe and in my arms.

Seth whined, his wolfish face _grim_. It was an unusually broken, distressing sound.

I didn't like this one bit.

"What's wrong with him?" Nahuel asked pointedly from behind. He scrutinized Seth's belligerent form a little brashly as he came to stand by my side.

I turned to look back at my struggling uncle.

His neck was noticeably stiff as he tried to look me square in the eyes as if he were trying desperately to communicate something to me.

I didn't hesitate to use what came naturally to me, and carefully placed my hands on his trembling face. I would attempt to extract the last few moments of his life. It wasn't the first time I tried this out- _extracting memory_. Growing up, I learnt how to reverse my inborn gift of sharing myself, my memories, feelings...

Instead, I learnt how to extract and enjoy another's thoughts, their feelings and memories. This was obviously prior to me finding out the full capacity of my capabilities.

With concerted effort, I pushed away the boundaries that clearly separated our minds. I closed my eyes, my concentration total. With careful persuasion, I attempted to open up the mind of my mother's stepbrother, asking him for entrance.

In my mind, I felt him oblige. And then the cognitive floodgate opened for me to sift through. The memories were like songs on a play list. I had to sift through them all to get to the right one. Usually, to make things easier, I would sometimes place images to trigger the memories I was looking for.

My eyes were firmly closed, but what I came to find inside my werewolf uncle's psyche however, rendered me speechless. It floored me, for I didn't just enter the mind of Seth Clearwater, but the mind of the entire packs.

The babble in my head was complete chaos. How can Dad stand it? Everyone talking, shouting, _thinking _at once.

I found something interesting. Something recent:

_We met up about ten miles out of La Push, in a clearing left by the loggers. It was wedged between two spurs of mountain, where no one would see us._

_I witnessed through Seth's eyes, Embry's hackles were sticking straight up. He was growling in an unbroken stream as he paced back and forth alongside Jacob._

_Both he and Leah moved like shadows behind him, their ears flat against the sides of their heads. The whole circle was noticeably agitated, on their feet and snarling in low bursts. _

Their anger was undefined.

Was this in reaction to Quil's attack sometime two days ago?

Oops. Wrong memory. I decided to sift through and fast forward...

Finally:

_Jake started moving everyone into formation. I felt the energy, the fear, the excitement from some of the younger wolves._

My hammering heart literally leapt into my mouth at the very site of his massively powerful wolf form. But I had to concentrate.

_So many scattered thoughts… _

_He had sent them all an agenda. The pack was pacing in synchronization now, thinking in __unison__. Jacob stood tall and was by far the largest there, leading the way and orienting the younger ones to follow Embry and Seth. _

I struggled to focus, to pick out individual voices.

_Leah, through the babble: Narcissistic bitch. She's everything a woman _shouldn't _be._

_Embry responded with: Gotta admit, she's hot though…as blood suckers go..._

_Leah snarled in disgust._

_There's _no way_ we can do this without castrating ourselves, Jake, _Embry thought, ignoring Leah's evil eye.

She snorted:_ Everyone's in danger here._

As I was seeing all this through Seth's eyes, I turned to face Jacob.

A mesmerising site stood before me. How long had it been since I saw him last? Four days? Looking through Seth's eyes, I was so close to him.

The immediate flood of warmth I felt inside was indescribable. Actually I was simply staggered at how readily my body seemed to reeact at the mere site of him – even _through Seth's eyes. _It was quite pathetic.

But then he was just so beautiful. So powerful a wolf in fact that he simply left me breathless. His usual russet pelt was darker I noticed, damp from rain.

I felt my voice- _Seth's voice-_ say_: Any word from the Cullen's?_

The russet wolf, who was formally pacing, immediately stiffened with the mere utterance of our family name. _No. I ran into Bella before. They've had no luck either._ His thoughts were clipped and he sounded so unbearably sad.

I knew I was in Seth's head, but I just had the need to hold onto Jake's fur and let him know everything was going to be okay.

_How is this possible?_ Leah asked.

I winced, hearing everyone try and answer at the same time. How can they stand each other like this?

_This thing…it's clever_, Embry thought. _It knows how we think as a pack. It knows Leah's the only one that has a fighting chance with her. And it knows we're slowing Leah down_, he stated.

_Don't think like that,_ Leah disagreed.

_What? It's the truth! If the Cullen _women_ are struggling… _Embry replied. _What chance do we have as men?_

_Shut up! _She snapped, gesturing towards the younger wolves, who I noticed had eyes like saucers, watching the senior members' 'discuss.' Seth found this a little amusing.

_Er, guys, why don't you all take a break and phase back for a couple of minutes?_ Embry suggested, clearly wanting some privacy.

They stood fixed in place.

_Collin, Brady, take the others and go for a run or something? _Jake recommended.

_We're not kids anymore, Jake, _Collin protested.

Leah ignored this_, For fuck sake, we're a pack. She's just _one_ sick bitch._

_Coming from you? _Embry teased, sniggering.

_I think we can handle it._

_Like we've been doing for the past three weeks now? _He retorted._ Like Quil could?_

_She flinched as the memory of Quil's attack replayed in all their minds. _

_We can do this, idiot. _She said, more quietly.

_What's the plan then?_ Seth asked turning to Jake again, desperate to shut those two up.

_Tracking her. And killing her. _Jake answered flatly, taking a few choice steps away from them all.

_That hasn't really worked in the past, Bud. _Embry thought.

_We need a strategy,_ Leah piped up.

_No. I don't like it, Leah,_ Jake murmured.

_It makes sense!_

He said nothing for a moment. It was clear to Seth his mind was elsewhere right then, still on the conversation he had with Bella earlier that day.

_She told me Nessie was upset, _he said, quietly responding to Seth's curiosity. _Worried. She's worried about me? She wants to make sure _I'm_ okay… _Jake laughed a little indifferently.

_How's that a crime?_ Leah asked.

_Leah_… _seriously?_ Embry thought.

_Well, let's get this slut, and you can run back to her!_ Leah encouraged, ignoring Embry's criticism.

Jacob looked unresponsive for a brief moment. Seth thought back to the conversation with mom, resulting in Jake cringing a little with the quick flashes of her words, still fresh in Jake's mind. _She was so worried –worried about me, about us- that _Jasper_ had to get her to fall asleep, _he said, his thoughts barely audible.

_Poor kid, _Leah sympathised. _Must be annoying to be the only one able to sleep in that freaky household. _

Seth nodded thoughtfully;_ She'll be okay, man. _

_Yeah, _Jacob thought bitterly_. No thanks to me..._

_You can't think like that,_ Leah replied crisply, moving closer to Jake.

_Why not? It's all my fault, Leah, _Jacob responded, his voice uncharacteristically small. _If anything happens to her… _he groaned awkwardly, struggling to keep his voice even. _I won't be able to live with myself. I just…I can't-_

_We know, man._ Embry interrupted, his voice surprisingly soft. _We get it._ _She means a lot to us too, you know._

They were all in completive silence for an indefinite moment. A weird feeling when they could still listen to each other's thoughts.

_If I hadn't crossed paths with this thing, _Jacob thought, breaking the eerie silence once more,_ -if I didn't have Nessie on my mind -worrying about her, wondering what she's doing, how she is- this leech wouldn't even know she existed. I'm an idiot._

_Yeah, you kinda are, but quit it, Jake._ Leah insisted again. _This… feeling-sorry-for-yourself, is getting old. And I'm sure Nessie won't appreciate it either._

_Nice, Leah_. Embry reproached sarcastically.

Jacob ignored them both_, Bella's been so careful to keep her out of this. Edward mentioned that if this leech knew Nessie existed, there's no doubt it'd go after her to get to them too. I had to go make things a hundred times worse, didn't I?_

_Aw, hell. Stop being so hard on yourself, Jake. I mean look on the bright side, at least you know she's the one! That's how this chick works, right? She let's you see what you want most in this world? I mean…we kinda already knew this about you two, but-_

_Shut up, Seth._

_Sure, Jake. Sorry._

Jake groaned inwardly._ Sorry. I just-_

_Don't worry about it, Jake._

_Stop that! Why'd you have to bring that up before? I don't even wanna think about –about _what it all means. _I didn't even know I... She'd freak so bad. If she ever found out…God, I'd hate to think what she'd think of me._

_You never know…_

_No, I _know._ I know she'd hate me._

_I doubt that._

_Seth, seriously. Shut up._

_What? I'm being serious here! The kid's always been crazy about you! She could never hate you, Jake…_

Jacob forced a smile, reminiscing._ I don't know about that. She's so stubborn. She gets that from them both. So she's what? Double the stubborness?_ He smiled then, completely lost in his own reverie whilst the other's patiently waited for him to finish._ I wouldn't put it passed her._

_She's a little OCD too, I've noticed. That's gotta be all Edward,_ Embry mused, more to himself. _Arrogant too._ _But she can pull that off 'cause it actually looks cute on her. _

_Edward again, I suppose? _Leah questioned, humouring him.

Embry barked a laugh._ Probably._

Jake looked up at the brilliantly plated waxing crescent,_ She's grown up so fast…_ he thought quietly.

_Haha. Yeah, but I bet that's exactly why you're not in Ed's good books right now eh, buddy? _Embry sniggered. _Don't care what anyone says,_ _this is waaay better than any Disney crap Claire makes us watch, and you know it!_

_Yeah... thanks, Em. _Jacob replied his voice small. His eyes reluctantly tore away from the darkened, starless sky and he plopped himself down on his hunches._ Man, I can't believe I lost it. _

Images of my father's indifferent face was at the forefront of everyone's thoughts then.

_He knows you didn't do this on purpose, _Leah said, fighting the urge to laugh.

This wasn't lost on Jacob_. Glad you find my misery funny!_

_Quit being so melodramatic._

Jake shook his head._ I lost it. I blew the cover. I can't blame him for feeling the way he does. Hell, I would, in his shoes! She can't know about any of this. At least that's something we can both agree on I suppose._

Leah snorted._ Yeah. Good luck with that one._

_Thanks, Leah. _His thoughts took a more serious path, his mind literally swimming with anxiety over my safety._ I just can't let anything happen to her. I just… _can't._ I need to finish this._

_Don't make this fight your battle, Jake._ Embry thought. _You're not alone in this._

_I know, but we all know it's turned into _just_ that, though. She wants _me_. And she wants Nessie to get to _me, he said sounding so _bitter._

_We don't know that for sure_.

_Who're you kidding, Seth?_

_No one._

_God, I just hope they can get Nessie out of here in time. _

_They will, _Leah insisted. _If it's one thing I know, the bloodsuckers are quick and efficient._ _Right now though, we have to focus, Jake –for Nessie's sake, for everyone's sake- we have to focus._

_Yeah, head in the game, bro. _Embry nodded.

_Yeah. You guys are right. _

_We can't let this thing influence all of you. _Leah continued,_ I'm the only one immune from whatever this self-absorbed, attention-seeking _killer_ can do._

_Leah, we already know this. _Embry thought. _What's your point?_

_If you let me finish, idiot, I'd tell you, _she snapped, turning to now face Jake_. You guys go home. Let me run with… _Leah flashed images of the women in my family.

_No._ Seth argued. _Hell no. Mom would kill me._

_Jacob, the plan? _Leah persisted, ignoring her younger brother.

Jacob was distracted again. He paced around the three of them.

_We have to protect the tribe. Our families._

_You don't think I want that? _Jake snapped.

_You seem a little distracted, Jake, _Embry said.

In that moment, everyone seemed to be assaulted with quick flashes of ...me, ranging from when I was a small child to more recent images. There were memories, brief words i'd said, things i'd done. Everything was flavoured with such overwhelming, unconditional _adoration. _

_We know you're worried about her, _Seth said thoughtfully.

Jacob sighed,_ You don't know the half of it, kid. This has _nothing _to do with her, and _everything_ to do with me. God, I can't believe I was stupid enough to let that thing get to me. She knows everything. And now she's after the one thing I can't live-_

_Yeah. We know it all… _Leah interrupted.

Wait! What was Jacob about to say?!

Before I could dare to hope –dare to dream, things turned ugly pretty quick.

Everyone's minds came to an abrupt, collective silence. It was an unnaturally eerie feeling. What was this?

_Jacob…_ a velvety voice whispered beguilingly. How bizarre. She sounded acutely familiar. Where was it coming from?

_Jacob Black… _the distinctively female voice held again -almost a seductive whisper_. Come find me, Jacob. I'm in the garden... Jacob, I need you. _

Strangely, Jacob let out a dangerously vehement snarl in response.

_Woah. __Jake, calm it_, _Kermit_. Brady suggested from the sidelines, standing alongside his twin, Collin, and some of the younger wolves who were dispersed further away in the forest.

_Shit, it's happening again,_ Leah groaned as realisation finally dawned on her.

_I'm still pissed we can't hear what she's telling him, despite us being in sync. It's kinda bugfuck crazy actually,_ Embry observed.

_Seth can._ Leah responded, as if reminding him. _And this chick_ is _crazy._

_True. But then why can't we hear Seth?_

_She's playing with us, _she answered.

_Yet but, why Seth?_

_I don't know, Embry. She wants us to know she can control the pack's mind? Likes watching us squirm? Go ask her. I'm not a sick nymphomaniac._

_Hah! Yeah. Sure. _

_Dude, she's my sister._

_Wait. We need to think more like her, _Leah thought abruptly, a new less-than-fleshed-out thought forming.

_Well, what do you suggest 'cause, honestly, I'm all out,_ Jake asked.

Leah looked up._ Give her what she wants._

_Give her what she wants? _A few of the other's asked in unison.

_What do you mean? I've tried running on my own. Hell, I've even tried running it all-human. We've tried everything, _Jacob responded, sounding confused_._

_Not everything, _Leah thought quietly.

And then thoughts of me were at the forefront of everyone's minds.

_Hey, now -Leah, don't._ Seth cautioned, as realisation hit him. _How can you even think that?_

No one took notice of Seth reproaching his sister.

A low, menacing snarl threatened to rip through Jake's chest. His eyes visibly darkened, raw with undefined irritation._ Don't even go there, Leah._

_But think about it… If we use Nessie and pretend she's on her own… _

_I said No. She's not getting involved. _

_You're not thinking clearly. It makes sense. This thing is after her._

He let out a low, warning growl_. If you know what's good for you, you'll stop. Right now. _Jacob cautioned, his voice disturbingly composed.

_The thing was circling the Cullen house! Watching. Biding its time. If it wasn't for Embry –the Cullens, we don't know what would've happened! We need to control this now, while we still can!_

Jacob began to visibly shake, a blood-curdling snarl resonated from his massive chest. _Stop it._

_Leah, I'd stop if I were you. Now. This isn't fare. _Seth advised, slowly situating himself between Jacob and his sister. _She's our_ niece,_ Leah._ _How could you even go there? You think Bella or Charlie would ever forgive us? Putting Nessie in potential danger on the off chance we might catch Nayha...it's not worth it. _

_You don't think I know that? I love her just as much as you do, Seth._

_You've got a funny way of showing it,_ Jacob spat.

_All I'm saying is... we use Nessie to just lure her-_

_Leah, enough,_ Seth cautioned again, interrupting his sister.

She ignored her brother's warning however:_ She'd want to help, Jake. If she knew what was happening...she'd want to help._

Jacob's breathing was haggard now. It was clear to see he was exhausted, yet the aggressive stance he held refused to falter._ I know. That's part of the problem. She'd want to help in any way she can. _

_Because she knows it makes sense. It's the right thing to do._

Another powerful snarl resonated through the forest, waking the quivering wildlife.

Leah ignored this,_ Jake, she's my niece. You honestly think I'd want her hurt in this? You think I'd let anything happen to her?_

Jacob closed his massive eyes shut, concentrating on keeping his breathing steady -his anger at bay.

_Listen to me, Jake, it makes sense for us to use her as bait for just a little while. To tease this leech-_

_Be very careful what you say next, Leah. _He interrupted flatly, his voice dangerously low.

_I know it's difficult to imagine this…considering you've only seen it played out in my head…but **no harm** would come to her. We'd all be there…waiting for the bloodsucker. Nessie would just have to stand there… waiting. Not doing anything._

Jacob's eyes immediately shot open then, his onyx orbs a fiery blaze of black fury as he lunged at Leah.

His quick movements were lithe and fluid. Seth didn't see him coming. Jacob towered over her as he shoved his face right against Leah's, their muzzles almost touching.

He was physically trembling as he bared his massive teeth. His breathing was heavy -uneven, struggling to contain the horrific snarls threatening to rip through him. _Leah, I swear to _God_, if you value your life, you'll stop with this crap. Wh- why? There's no way in hell I'd let you go through with this. _

_Jake, calm down, bro _Embry interrupted, careful in preventing the situation escalating further.

Seth stood frozen in place, in a state of shock.

Jacob continued to stare her down,_ It's not going to happen, Leah. I won't let it happen. End of._

_Okay. I'm sorry. I shouldn't've brought it up. _

He remained towering over her, his face indifferent, yet the clear hostility was evident in the way he continued to carry himself.

_It was stupid. I shouldn't've thought it up._

The remaining pack observed with baited breath.

A tension filled moment of awkwardness had passed. Still visibly shaking, Jacob finally and somewhat _reluctantly_ backed away. His cold, indifferent eyes were unmoving as he continued to stare the female wolf down._ No, _he eventually conceded, moving towards Seth.

Things grew dissonantly silent again. Everyone visibly stiffened, turning to look at Jacob who stood frozen.

_Jacob… _the mysteriously enticing female voice held again. It was like an eerie echo. Why did she sound so familiar? _Jacob, why are you taking so long? Come to me now, please. I really need you..._

***

Abruptly, Jacob blinked, his tail twitching nervously. _Get the hell out of here. All of you._

_She's close?_ Leah hissed, desperately scouring the surrounding thicket surrounding them.

In that moment Embry's howl filled the air, placing the young one's on red alert now.

_When we do catch her, I'm soo going to enjoy ripping her into little pieces. My finals are coming up, and she's ruined this whole month for me__._

That apparently did it. Jacob leaped away from Seth, towards his sister with his massive teeth bared.

_Leah, go!_ Embry thought. _For all you know,_ _we might be next!_

_No. No way. I'm not leaving you guys here likes this. _

_Leah. Do it. _Jacob thought, with his breathing haggard, struggling to maintain his haunted stance.

_Is that an order, Jacob, or is that what the bitch is telling you to say?_

Without thinking, he dived again, _Don't talk about her like that,_ He snarled, about to catch her left hind leg when both Embry and Seth lunged, cutting into his flank with their teeth.

I winced as Jacob howled in pain and fury and turned on them both now.

_Jake, she's not the real deal, man_ Seth reminded, a little cautious. _Ignore it and tell us where it's coming from… C'mon, concentrate._

Jake made an unusual sound, a mixture of a whimper and a snarl.

_Dude, fight it. The real one's waiting for you back home, _Embry thought tersely.

_She sounds so real…_ Jacob whispered, sounding so exhausted in his confusion.

_I know, Jake, but it's not her..._

_Jacob…_ the velvety voice whimpered now. _Jake…help me! I'm on my own…_she continued, feigning a new panic,_ I'm scared, Jake. I don't know where my family are… and she's after me! I can hear her, Jake. She's coming. I'm so scared, Jacob. I need you right now. Please help me…don't leave me here on my own.._

_Aw, hell, that's playing dirty!_ Seth said sounding floored.

_All of you go! _Jacob choked, visibly shaking again._ I can't control this. I need to go to her._

Leah let out a frustrated growl of her own, backing away reluctantly. _I need to find her and stop this._

_I'm not going anywhere near you._ Embry responded, backing away from them all. _Lets go with your original plan_. _Go find the Cullen's, Leah. They can help you. _

_Make sure Nessie's _not _on her own. _Jacob interrupted. I didn't miss unmistakable desperation, the nervousness in his carefully controlled voice._Leah, I'm trusting you with my life, here.__ Don't let me down._

I frowned in confusion. _What?_

Leah nodded grimly again,_ what about you guys? _She thought, turning to face her brother and Embry.

_We're just gonna complicate things. _They both thought in unison.

I knew exactly what this meant. The same conversation took place not long ago at the Cullen house when I observed Esme disappearing into the forest on her own and Emmett didn't choose to follow, knowing full well it would most probably make things worse.

Leah dipped her head once more, briefly looking at Jake and then longer at her brother before ducking into the darkened thicket.

Seth stood fixed in place however, joined by the younger wolves that flanked either side, growling at nothing. He watched on with anxious eyes as his Alpha was physically struggling to control himself. _Go Seth! _Jacob's exhausted voice desperately ordered.

_No._

_Fine. _He growled, clearly struggling._ I'll go. If she's messing with me, it won't take long for her to do the same to you guys._

_Jake, we can't just leave you like this. This is exactly what she wants. She wants you alone. _

_Jacob…_ the alluring voice was back. Jake visibly stiffened. _Jacob…_ the voice cooed_, you said you'd meet me after work. Why haven't you come? Don't you want to be with me anymore? _

Jacob shook his head weakly, as if trying to fight it._ I don't care. If it means she can't get to you guys and Ness- _He cut himself off, a broken groan of longing barely audible between his exhausted breathing. _Just…do me a favour and tell her I love her. Tell her I'm so sorry for not meeting her after work. _

My heart literally melted with those words. As if I cared about that! He's an idiot.

_Tell her I'm sorry for not-_

_Tell her yourself, _Embry retorted.

_Yes! Exactly,_ I thought.

Jacob didn't have the time or patience to argue it seemed. _Seth, Embry, all of you_ -don't_ follow me!_ He ordered in a strange tone. I'm inclined to think the double timbre of the Alpha was used. _You got that? No following. No trying to save the day._

As if to confirm my suspicions, immediately I felt Seth's legs buckle under him –as if they weren't his own anymore. It was a surreal experience. Seth jerked to a halt, barely managing to keep himself on his feet. Will power wasn't enough.

Jacob turned his gaze away from Seth, walking away. _Jacob, don't do this. Think about what this'll do to her! She'll be devastated if she loses you._

Jacob's powerful bounds faltered in that moment, as he turned to face them both again. With his words, his tormented face contorted further still, in a mixture of hurt and silent misery.

_Just tell her what I told you._

_You're gonna break her heart, Jake. _Seth's knees trembled, struggling to pull himself upright. I could feel the voice of the Alpha lashing at his will.

_She'll get over it. _

_She won't._

_Make _sure _she gets over it._

_She won't forgive you for this._

_Just protect her. Do whatever you need to, to keep her safe -and_ don't _follow me._

Seth's front knees folded, his head fell forward under the weight of the Alpha's command. Embry too, was struggling, as were Collin and Brady and the others.

Jacob wheeled himself back around and darted into the darkness.

_I need to finish this. For her…I need to end it._

* * *

Author's Note- Breathing Underwater –Marie Digby

…is my girl crush! Alongside Mandy Moore and Lucy Griffiths.

I added a few last minute things without pinkpower's knowledge. Lol.

I was revising it, and couldn't help it! So after i got it back from pinkp, I read through her advise...and then I wrote this interesting conversation between Leah and Jacob –but… my laptop decided to eff me over and it got deleted. ALL OF IT. so then I tried to think over what I wrote, but you know how it is... You can't get all of it exactly as it was. :

Anywho, it's Leah suggesting using Nessie as bait. As arrogant as it may sound... the original convo was so much better. :S

_'I'd have to disagree with Embry. Ariel/Eric will forever be my favourite couple.' Oh, pinkpower... tut, tut._

Also, a special thanks to ElOsoDelNieve for your comment! Made my day ;)

RnR peeps!


	6. Chapter 6 Innocence

_Chapter 6- __Innocence._

_Author's Notes: It's been a while. I'm currently snowed in at home, so I thought I'd get to it._

_You would not believe how hard this was getting to my beta. For reasons I still don't get, my laptop decided to go awol and screw me over not once, not twice, but thrice. Three freaking times, I had to redo these same chaps. It didn't annoy me so much that I had to redo it, but the fact I had it exactly how I wanted it the first time round. Gah._

_This chapter is short as it had to be split into three. The other parts will be uploaded shortly after, but I'm trying to pace it._

_Please, please -I beg you- review. Lol. Yeah, I beg. I have no self-respect. Feel sorry for me._

* * *

Scorching my seared heart with a pain, not hell shall make me fear again.

Edgar Allan Poe

_Tamerlane, Part II_

* * *

I watched as _twilight _descended and the conspicuous woods fell into an innocent silence once more.

It's true what they say: in a world turned upside down there's no sense of time—of gravity.

I felt numb.

Conscious to the fact that layers of grey with brilliant streaks of blinding black pressed against me, suffocating me, spearing me to the ground like a broken statue of terror. My scattered brain was wracking to place things in order, to make sense of it all.

This wasn't happening.

I was abundantly aware now, transfixed as I was, with Seth's memories, that my mind was simply swimming in a raw, violent place.

This _couldn't_ be happening.

But it _is. _So snap out of it.

Barely breathing, my shaking fingers disentangled from the sandy mesh of pelt and fell lifelessly from either side of Seth's large head. Mere seconds had passed when I watched with baited breath at his recollection of recent events.

Clearly I discerned that Jake wasn't in any immediate danger. This Nayha seemed positively fascinated with him.

So she wouldn't hurt him.

_Not unless he was the first to antagonise, that is._ And I was telling myself he wouldn't do that to me.

I had to keep telling myself that.

I was distantly aware then, of Seth's massive, concerned eyes silently scrutinizing my face.

_Waiting._

I chose to ignore this. My main priority right now was to find Jacob.

How, though? That was next to impossible for me. I wasn't strong or remotely good at tracking.

_Hell,_ my family couldn't find this chick.

And for me to be out like this, it was like asking a domestic cat to fend for itself in the freaking Amazon.

Yes. This was_ precisely _what this was.

Ironically, I spent most of my life never once feeling powerless. Amongst powerful Godlike creatures, it made me feel slightly inferior, yes, but never completely incapable.

Not until now, that is.

Emmett always told me something that –until now- I never quite appreciated. I think it was safe to say I was **a **little cub compared to the fierce lions. And that's exactly how he worded it. Aside from it being easily viewed as a dig at both my lack of humanity and immortality, he, of course, was saying it in a lovingly teasing, affectionate way. Well, for him, it was a show of love and affection. To the rest of the world, maybe abuse, I'm not sure.

I knew I wasn't exactly on par with the world's most powerful predators and so I couldn't help agreeing with the analogy. I _am_ for all intents and purposes, a _baby_, compared to the ferocious lions that is.

It was something that –again until now- silently disgruntled me.

Indeed as realisation hit me, I noticed my trembling fingers –as if on their own accord- coasting small circles on some plaited leather chords.

A present Jacob had given me so long ago, during my first Christmas; I knew it was also the most beautiful gift I had ever received. I let my fingers hover over the surface and relished the feeling of the complex folds, usually so comforting to me.

Briefly, I smiled, recalling feeling absolutely delighted when I first received such a personally crafted gift. I remember my eyes were full of wonder that day. For the first time in my short life, I felt hope. Hope that my family would survive, despite me ruining everything. Hope in that I would get to stay with my mom.

Jake made me feel that.

I tried to fight back the swelling tears as I continued to let my fingers glide over the bracelet.

A gift I sported on my left wrist, this was a self-soothing reflex I had adopted whenever Jacob would leave to go back to the reservation.

The bracelet was pretty. It was nothing I had ever seen before. I remember it thrilled me.

In fact, so overjoyed was I, I didn't quite understand why Edward stiffened at the very sight of it. I even remember shoving it in his face later, just to show him how pretty it really was in case he didn't get a good look at it before.

Often, this was what I did. When things got tough, and Jake wasn't around, this was what I did –a totally unconscious, strange reflexive thing.

Old habits die hard, I guess.

If I was ever tense or afraid… whether it was over exams, over terrifying nightmares involving the Volturi …or simply when I was struggling to shrug off a guy who just couldn't take _'no'_ for an answer…

This helped.

It was something I only ever did when I was sick with fear or paralysed with nerves. Strange as I know it to sound, it felt like I had a little piece of Jacob Black with me, giving me strength when I needed it the most.

I was acutely aware it was a strange coping mechanism I had inadvertently adopted. I didn't quite know why, but growing up, my father would often look at me with a strange mixture of hurt and what appeared to be _reluctant_ acceptance in his eyes. He'd look unmistakably sad, and I could never understand why.

I just didn't get that.

I knew it was a little unconventional, but what part of my life ever truly was?

It just felt like I had Jacob's strength when I simply felt the most weak. To a child, it made me feel absolutely invincible. It felt like Jake was standing right behind me, as I attempted to venture into the unknown on my own_._

Like when I went for my college interview without telling anyone. Or when I got my first job DJ-ing on campus…

So now, what do I do?

Wracking my brain, my thoughts were back on one thing. I couldn't help _not _being alert to the fact that she took an unhealthy liking to Jacob.

Distantly I was aware the kettle was calling the pot, but clearly, she was fascinated with him.

_Why? _

I couldn't shake it off. A part of me wondered _why?_ _Why Jacob?_ It was an immensely selfish, conceited thought, but it came from a part of me who asked _why not one of the others? Why him?_

But then I knew why. I knew exactly why.

_Of course_ she wanted him. He was Jacob Black. Strong, boyish, annoying Jacob. Loveable and selfless-to-the-core Jacob Black.

In my ten years I picked up on a few things. He broke the rules. He forgave quickly. When he loves, he loves truly. And when he laughs, _really _laughs- he laughs uncontrollably. It was often a sound that- as a child, made me feel like I could fly.

Then there was his shocking smile. It was a smile that would often leave me reeling. A heart-stopping smile that I had no doubt, could light up the world.

I had to stop with this. I was wasting time.

Quickly trying to get a grip and wracking my mind, I thought briefly of where this voice wanted Jake to go.

My bracelet wasn't helping.

"Nessie?"

What exactly was he thinking_? _

_That's the thing: he _wasn't _thinking._

And then in that tortured moment, I was lost. I could barely hear Nahuel's muffled voice in the distance. A strange, surreal feeling, considering my audible range was perfect and I knew him to be standing directly to my right.

"Renesmee?!" he prodded impatiently this time.

Where would she take him?

I felt someone shake me violently then.

"What did you see?" Nahuel asked.

I blinked. My motor skills were clearly failing me and so I simply made a robotic jerk of the head- a small motion in acknowledgement.

Was I in shock?

I took one rigid step back, silently rebuffing the whole thing. I had to get a grip.

How long ago had this all occurred? Excluding Leah, his whole pack was forced to stay behind.

Quickly, I replayed what I had just seen _again._ Seth's memory notified me of a rough time frame. The natural light during the day was swiftly falling into imminent darkness.

Good. Not long ago.

Then my scattered, myriad of thoughts were absorbed on a minute detail: what Jake had last instructed Seth and the others to do…

_Just protect her. Do whatever you need to, to keep her safe -and _don't_ follow me…_

As realisation dawned on me, like a deluge of much-needed breath of air, my head immediately whipped back up to look back at Seth, "Phase back." I instructed, my voice hoarse with un-use.

If there was ever a loophole in Jacob's instruction- in his seemingly unbreakable alpha command, I knew this to be it. To help protect me, whatever the cost, could I not ask for Seth to _follow_ _me_? To_ help me? _

My heart leapt into my mouth at the mere possibility of overriding the impossibly restricting alpha directive, but I knew it was the only way.

Vain hope was all I had right now.

Seth eyed me doubtfully. I realised it was perhaps a strange request.

"Nessie, you want to let me in on what's going on please?" Nahuel requested, his voice unusually even.

I didn't want to look away from the pack to see what Nahuel looked like, to reassure my friend. He sounded worried for me, which I can't really blame him for as I must've looked like a decrepit zombie.

He held my comparatively small hand and squeezed it, enveloping it in a kind, wringing warmth. Though I knew this to be a gesture of comfort, it was next to impossible to feel anything, let alone _at ease-_ certainly not after what I had just seen.

I tried to force a smile on for him. "I promise I'll let you in on everything." I replied, trying to sound as soft and reassuring as ever. It was strange though, to hear my answer coming out a struggling, rasping whisper.

With my new found man-voice, which would most likely have the adverse effect of much needed assurance, I supposed I'd make up for with a brief, reassuring squeeze back of his consoling hand.

He wouldn't let it go.

My only wolf uncle rather abruptly stiffened. His previously trembling, struggling form no longer buckling.

I stopped breathing in anticipation. This was working. This was actually working?

"Phase back, and help me. That's what he wanted, right? To keep me safe?" I probed encouragingly.

He cocked his large head to the side again, a look of inner conflict now. With a pang of guilt, I was aware this must be a difficult thing for them to attempt. Going against their alpha's words, I had heard, was near enough impossible. But then this was a mere technicality. Jacob's words supplied a loop hole. If protecting me at any cost was anything to go by, I was sure if I asked them to phase back and help me, it would be feasible...

"Phase back, and help me, Uncle Seth." I repeated, beseechingly.

"Ness…" Nahuel spoke softly- as if pitying me. I can't imagine why. I felt strong. I sounded strong. "Ness, I don't think they can, Carnala."

I didn't take me determined gaze off of Seth and Embry. Their previously struggling forms momentarily stopped buckling under the force of the alpha.

I blinked back the tears, only now aware that my face was wet. Was this what Nahuel was pitying? I quickly wiped them away and focused my attention on Jake's pack. Could this be working? I briefly tore my watch from them both, only to let my eyes wash over the formerly struggling forms of Collin, Brady and the others.

Seth's massive form began to violently tremor.

Shit. This _was_ working. In wanting to give them privacy as they phased back into their human forms, I turned to look away and met Nahuel's frustrated eyes.

"Long story cut short, she's forced him to leave his pack and go after her alone." I explained a deadpan voice unrecognisable to me.

I watched, as Nahuel silently took this all in, his striking mocha features serious and critical. He also looked confused. "I don't understand. Why would he abandon them? He's the leader, no?"

I sighed and nodded arduously.

"I thought the functional premise of a wolf pack is to move in synchronization? One mind, one body?" Nahuel questioned again, a little more stiffly this time.

I cleared my throat to answer when a familiar voice interrupted my efforts. Inside, I was grateful as can be right now, I just couldn't let myself dwell on the reasons why and more specifically on the actual situation itself- of him…alone…with _her._

"He didn't abandon us. He wanted to protect us." Embry replied indignantly, his voice restrained from pending hostility. "As for the reasons why, well…have a look. This bloodsucker's a little on the en fuego. He didn't have a choice. He felt he needed to do what he had to do for the good of his pack."

Tension hovered as thick as fog between the two men. And I really _didn't _have time for this.

"I intended no offence by my-"

"Judgements? Your scrutiny?" Embry interrupted.

I held my breath. Was this seriously happening?

Nahuel smiled wryly, raising an equally cynical brow. "And I suppose you and your precious pack have never done the very same thing? Judging and condemning _before_ understanding?"

Now I was confused. I frowned. "Hold up. When have they _ever_ done that?" In my ten years of knowing the Quiluete shifters, they've never committed any wrongdoing; they've never harmed, or wrongfully judged anyone either.

Without wanting to tear a silently lethal case of the evils away from Embry, Nahuel cocked his head slightly towards me. "I'm sure your pet will explain_ that _story when he feels you're old enough, Renesmee." He answered softly. "Another decade should do it, right Embry?"

I heard Embry wire his jaw shut, clenching it tightly, as if trying to stop himself from saying something he knew he'd regret later. "That was a long time ago and we didn't know any better. You of all people should know cutting the chains of old beliefs is a little difficult."

"You really consider that an excuse? _Old prejudices die hard?"_

Embry sighed. "Something like that. I mean, we had an impulse. It was the _wrong _impulse, but we acted on it anyway." He explained, careful not to sound too defensive. "And you forget, _friend,_ back then, we were only new at this."

Nahuel laughed this time. It was a dry, deploring sound- very unlike him. "Well, whatever makes you pups sleep at night." He said quietly, attempting to shrug it off.

"So you've never made any mistakes in the past?" Nahuel was quiet. "We didn't know any better." Embry repeated stiffly. "We didn't know we were fighting against fate. He of all people knows that and regrets it every damn day…"

Nahuel raised a cynical brow again_. "Does_ he now?"

Embry pursed his lips this time. "Look, I don't care if you believe me or not, but_ I _know how much he hated what he was like before she came into his life, alright? I was there. I was living it along side him. We _all _were. It's just like you said, one pack, one mind."

Nahuel turned away then and tried in vain, to muffle his understated laugh. It sounded more like he was choking.

What on _earth_ were they talking about? I didn't realise they all had shared history…

But then somehow at the back of my mind, I discerned that perhaps his new found bessie,_ Rose, _is behind whatever Nahuel has on the pack.

I think I'd have to ask her later…

"We didn't know how things were meant to fall in to place." Embry continued, ignoring Nahuel's evident deriding.

"_Convenient."_ He responded, sobering up almost immediately.

I didn't like this. "What are you guys talking about?" I finally interrupted. Was this even relevant?

They both remained silent, wordlessly scathing each other now.

_Okay…_

"Care to let us all in on this seemingly ambiguous bitch fest?" My eyes shot between the two imposing men, both had their large arms crossed over their chests. "Only, we're wasting time here."

It seemed this did it. As if effective immediately, everything came to a standstill, a dramatic halt. Every pair of hopeful eyes in the arrowhead-shaped clearing was on me, looking expectantly.

"She's right." Seth's voice finally interrupted the silence of mounting hostility. He turned to me and eyed me questioningly again. "What did you have in mind, Ness?"

This felt so strange. Instructing a pack of experienced fighters was just…so very strange.

"First, where is he?" I asked to no one in particular. Locating Jake's trail myself was next to impossible it seemed and I knew that until I had ordered them to phase back, they were still mentally linked to their alpha and so it only made sense for them to know his most recent location.

"She only lets Seth see what she's up to…" Embry responded, shrugging. "We still don't get why that is. Edward thinks she doesn't have a choice and says it's because his thoughts are 'pure and innocent.'" He let out a dry snort.

If the situation wasn't so serious, I would seriously be mulling over the overflow of jokes hurled at poor Seth because of my dad's posited theorising.

"And all I could really see were blurring trees… lots and lots of freaking trees." Seth added sheepishly.

That helps immensely…

"The location was indistinct. I think he was deliberately trying to keep me out of the loop, knowing we'd try and get to him any way we could…" Seth explained despondently, his far-away eyes slightly glazed over. "Nessie, there's no way for us to get to him if he's ordered us to stay here."

The situation was therefore very clear to me.

We were screwed.

"I'd never seen him like that. All these years, and he's never used the alpha card on us…" Collin piped up.

Momentarily ignoring Collin, I thought back to what Jacob was doing. He had effectively placed her exact location and was attempting to use _her_ attempts to lure him in, against her.

I _hoped_.

That's certainly what I would do…

"She could control our movements…could _stun _us. What he did, was a little on the stupid side, I'll admit, but he did it to get us out of it." Embry snapped at Collin, sticking up for his best friend.

"No, I know, Em-"

Embry ignored him, "He didn't want all of us hanging around. He did this for _us_." I didn't miss the quiet strain in his voice. "I hope Leah's having more luck with the Cullens…"

I swallowed hard. _My family._

_Crap._

Far from the memories of home, my mind had-for the first time since sneaking out -only briefly, wondered back to them all. Wondering where they were right about now, if they were fraught with worry and angry with me, as I knew they would be…

I bit my lip.

"Ness…" Someone's soft gravely voice quickly brought me back to the here and now- away from me questioning exactly how much shit I was going to be in with my parents. "Ness…"

I looked up to find Seth standing directly in front of me now. His warm, smiling eyes reminded me so much of Jake right now, I literally ached all over.

In the back of my mind, I knew this need for him was getting ridiculous now. I was more aware that this seriously irrational withdrawal was beginning to get pathetic. I knew this, but why didn't that stop me from heading back home?

"There's one way to find Jake now. It's a long shot, but considering-"

"Considering she's fucking up our senses, you're the only one able to do this." Embry interrupted, his expression sombre.

"That's not exactly how I'd word it, but yeah." Seth said reprovingly, as he returned his gaze back to me. He shrugged all the same.

"Okay…" I said slowly and quietly wondering _why me?_

Even so, I'd wasted enough time simply thinking. "What are we waiting for?"

Seth flashed a small smile. "It involves you though, Ness."

Well I _had_ gathered…

Reproaching myself, I pushed the silent, yet impatient retort aside. It wasn't Seth's fault I was like this, after all.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, trying to register it all.

My mind was simply swimming.

He hesitated for a moment. "This is going to sound a little crazy, but just _trust us,_ okay?" he asked a little dubious now.

Again, I bit back my impatience. This need for Jake was taking on a whole new level of ridiculousness. "Alright." I conceded softly.

"Okay, well…remember what Jake said to you, when you were a kid?"

There were _many_ things Jacob had said to me as a kid, I thought, trying to stifle an impatient groan.

Shaking that out of the way, I smiled, however. "More specifically. Uncle Seth?"

"Right. About how…sometimes, if you two were ever apart… all you had to do was close your eyes and er…_will_ him into your line of vision?"

I was still as stone for a moment. My eyes the shapes of undeniable saucers, I didn't even breathe as I took his words in.

Indeed, his suggestion briefly stopped me cold.

Promptly, my mind narrowed down the specific conversation he was referring to. It was a painful memory that I never liked to refer back to if I could help it. A memory involving my best friend- my _only best friend,_ saying good-bye for the first time.

The first out of many good-byes…

And then I laughed, realising what Seth wanted me to do. I just laughed. It was a shaky cry, bordering onto a _hysterical _noise that sounded so foreign and unfamiliar to me, I thought I was riding an out of body experience.

I _did_ remember this. And frankly, I didn't take Jacob seriously even back then.

The reason being, I was a small kid far too distraught about him leaving us after we had only just settled in to our New Hampshire home.

I wired my eyes firmly shut, reliving the brief flash of recall...

* * *

A/N- Innocence- Avril

Not gonna lie- I had 'Love so alike' from the _Tristan and Isolde_ soundtrack. I urge any of you who are overly sentimental and/or_ slash_ emotional (and cry for absolutely no reason sometimes,) to listen to this. Makes my heart cry. _Cry._

My bumchum from across the pond (a _pond)_ supplied the title for this chap. Pinkpower- Thank you, thank you, _thank youuu._ :D

To all-

Sorry I left it on a cliff-hanger last chap. :S Blame my idiot laptop. Thank you _so_ much to those who took the time to review. It really does mean a lot to get any kind of feedback. Thank you also, for taking this ride with me. :)

Again- I know I'm a bit of a biz-nitch for this chapter. Had to be done.


	7. Chapter 7 All We Are

_Chapter 7- All We Are_

_Author's Note: After much deliberation, I decided I wanted to put this in. It's most likely something you guys wouldn't've expected. _

_One of the reasons why I love this pairing so much is that their love is so innocent, untainted and pure to start off with. There is a strange, absolutely breathtaking, endearing quality about this situation that I adore. And I thank SM wholeheartedly for creating them. Another reason for me, is in knowing it isn't simply going to be plain sailing for the two soul mates. _

_Any who, I wanted to add this in, as I wanted to place myself in her shoes. How awful it must be for a little girl to say goodbye to her best friend, I thought to myself. Experiencing something similar with my dad during my first day at nursery (kindergarten) I was heartbroken that he'd left me with strangers for the first time. (Yeah, you laugh. Go ahead. You're all evil.) _

_Heartbroken wasn't the word actually. I was devastated. Promising me ice cream, the man gave me no warning when he plomped me into a room full of snot-faced kids. _

…_Alright, not quite the same, as it was only for the day, but it didn't stop me from biting him in my desperation to remain clung to him. _

_Sad, but true. I've grown out of the habit of biting people- not if I can help it anyway- and I bite only if they smell really good. Like Calvin-Klein-Eternity-for-men gooood. That stuff makes me go weak at the knees. Nuf digressing._

_Disclaimer: I own everything. Lol. I joke. Please don't sue me. (Who actually does, with these things?) _

_

* * *

_

I tasted, tasted love so sweet  
And all of it was lost on me

I kept falling over  
I kept looking backward

All we are we are  
And every day is a start of something beautiful

And in the end the words won't matter  
'Cause in the end nothing stays the same  
And in the end dreams just scatter and fall like rain

All We Are

Matt Nathanson

****

* * *

With Seth's suggestion, a memory long forgotten haunted me then. It was a memory so painful in fact, I never once looked back on it if I could help it. A memory buried so deep, it almost felt like a vague dream so easily forgotten and misplaced in the wake of consciousness. Sometimes, I wished it were.

But then I could hear him. Words Jacob had said to me so long ago bubbled up to the surface, as if ruthlessly. Like a much-needed breath of air, the mere familiarity of his voice seemed to comfort me.

And then I was lost. Lost in that brief moment of limbo, where the unsettling feelings of nostalgia simply overwhelmed me and speared me once more to the ground.

Nahuel, Embry, Seth, and the pack- they were all lost to me now.

Lost in a disconcerting, familiar world, where a troubled little girl stood by her window, watching unresponsively as the listless snow fell.

_I remember she liked the snow. _

_Mesmerized as she was when she had first laid eyes on such a thing, she was aware that to most, they were merely white lumps of frozen rain. To her, to this unusual little girl, the wonderfully unique patterns on the snowflakes, reminded her often that everyone was different. Different and beautiful in their own way__. _

_Without a sound she placed a small, deliberate hand against the impressive pane before her, as if yearning to touch them. _

_As I observed, taking in my recollection, I realised that _naturally_ the child wasn't by herself, for she wasn't standing alone. _

_In fact, two figures stood side by side, ahead of the large, floor-to-ceiling windows. They were both staring out, unseeingly, at the magnificent ivory-white courtyard._

"_We can go outside if you want?" Jacob's soft, gravely voice echoed in my mind. He jerked his head to the side, motioning towards the picturesque landscape awaiting them outside. His voice was gentle- __hesitant__ even, trying in vain to get her to talk. _

_And like a flood of warmth, the feeling of nostalgia simply overwhelmed me and I knew all too well why I was refusing to speak to anyone that day._

_Really, with an acute ache, I remember I awoke that morning; temporarily dazed by the falling snow and thinking what I had found out the night before was a dream. A horribly bad dream. _

_And as she yawned, her lips forming a plump little O shape, the__ dreaded__ spark of realisation finally adorned her tired little cherub-cheek face. Indeed her tiny form fell rigid as she sat up groggily that morning, I remember. _

_She hadn't had much sleep the previous night and recognized as she became more aware of her surroundings, that her right hand had been held against someone's cheeks as she slept. _

_Aside from the enveloping warmth surrounding it, the first thing she remembered feeling under her little hand was a pulse._

_And stubble._

_She frowned, reluctantly opening her sleep-riddled eyes and recalling briefly to herself that no one in her family had stubble._ Or a pulse for that matter_, she mused slowly in her half-comatose state. __As if to further spur her in her brilliant mood that morning, she realised a little belatedly that this someone, had sat themselves at the side of her massive bed, watching her sleep and eyeing her now-semi-conscious form apprehensively._

Jacob.

_Right away, she swiped her hand from under his and scowled. I remember feeling he had absolutely no right to peak into my dreams. They were now something to keep to myself. Particularly when he, himself was deliberately hiding important things from me. At the time this little girl felt- with conviction so strong she was fit to implode, that this hardly seemed fair. _

_She didn't want to share her dreams with him right now._

_Indeed, the little girl observed him for a moment. With her brow puckered and chocolate eyes sombre, she scrutinized him unabashedly. She didn't want to admit it, but there was no doubt his warm eyes held her. And in that moment of weakness- because Jacob truly was her weakness, she would've simply wanted to jump into his inviting arms, never wanting to let go. In reality however, the situation was a grim one. __The once-sided, unmistakable tension emanating from this one little girl was thick like fog and it didn't go unnoticed by Jacob. __He returned her intense, immovable stare and held his own. A gaze not quite hard, yet just as unyielding, he held her and he knew it. And as if not quite wanting to upset her further, his equally persistent eyes were playful, silently indulgent. There was something else, she noticed. Something else that utterly submerged her, held her captivated. Something inexplicable, understated yet entirely unmistakable in its presence. She couldn't quite place it, but it all intermingled in his rich, onyx orbs. __Frankly, the profound effects were annoying her and she wanted to ignore him and his warm gaze now. It completely contradicted what he planned on doing, so she felt he had no right to do it._

_And as if knowing exactly what would hurt him the most, she chose to ignore him completely. The little girl was all too aware of just how hurtful that simple action was for Jacob, but this only seemed to spur her to forge ahead in her abstaining. Breaking her silence now, would do nothing for her sobriety -deterring the symbolism of her feelings entirely and hence, her cause. _

_I remember feeling resentful towards everyone that day. For keeping something so important from me. In reality, child-me- in her state of fatigue, struggled out of her covers in her zealous irritation. She even struggled to land on her feet when she leapt off the bed to get away from his simple words of 'good morning.' _

_Without a sound, Jacob had reached out towards her almost instinctively and steadied her tumbling form. He of course, released the little girl reluctantly after witnessing her blushing furiously and beginning to protest in his arms. _

_It appeared, despite the melancholy in his eyes, he was slightly amused by this reaction and even bit back a small smile, watching her as she stalked off with exaggerated composure._

_That was earlier that morning…_

_Now however, as she stood near her window, her curly, tousled hair was tied up carelessly into a loose, messy ponytail. She continued to watch the snow intently- using it as an excuse, _a lifeline,_ to ignore the painful conversation awaiting her and her best friend._

_Having simply found out the night prior from an oblivious Emmett, that Jake had planned on leaving once we were ensconced, she wasn't in the mood to play dress up with Ali or Rosie that morning and had instead, discarded her __Hello Kitty__ jim-jams in favour of __Baby Dior. __I remember feeling I realised something imperative that night. His life wasn't in Hanover – not with us, not with __me.__ It was back in La Push. His home. He had his own life, his own friends, and his own family there. _

We-_ my family and I, could never be a part of that for long. Not really. _

_I knew this back then, but I didn't care. Not when the overwhelming grief simply vetoed any sense of logic and feelings of consideration for this little girl. _

"_Renesmee, you're going to have to talk to me sometime…" Jacob said softly, following a prolonged hour of silence. Well I say silence, but he was having an awkward, one-sided conversation with himself, whilst child-me stood brooding out of the window._

_She didn't choose to say anything however, and instead, felt his eyes searching her face, anxiously waiting a response. It was then too, that she noticed, his most recent words were said with such understated _sorrow;_ it lingered beneath the surface long enough for child-me to bite her lips._

_No. _

_She shoved that fickle moment of weakness aside._

_She had to hold her ground. He couldn't break her. Not now._

"_Ness?"_

_She continued to stare out of the window, observing now, as one of her uncles came out the expensive pool house- an annexe situated at the far end, away from the main house, with a big cheshire grin on his face. At the time, I didn't quite know why of course, but they- _my parents_, were still in- what my aunts called 'their honeymoon phase,' and so Edward and Bella chose to reside there –totally separate from the main house. I of course had my own room with my parents too, but I remember recalling at the time, I wasn't sleeping very well._

_As she witnessed him coming out, she wondered briefly as to what had Emmett smiling so much. As far as she could tell, neither of her parents were home…_

_Jacob sighed. "It won't be forever, Ness."_

_Still she said nothing. And it was clear, reflecting back on it, that there was no mistaking just how much he was suffering because of this._

"_You know, I can't change the inevitable-" he continued, she snorted under her breath. "…But there's something you can do when you really miss me."_

_Still nothing._

"_All you have to do is close your eyes, and I'm there…" he continued. _

_We were in my new room in Hanover. It was a strikingly elegant high ceiling-ed room, which included impressive, period piece windows contrasting against the off-white walls. _

_I observed as the child version of me screwed up her little face, refusing to leave her glare from the window as she took in his words. Her pink, plump lips jutting with restrained irritation, her angel cheeks—a flush of violent colour. _

_It didn't matter that he was towering over her form, t__he little girl looked markedly more irritable__ with his latest words now. She glanced at her translucent reflection and gimaced at her hair. It didn't do anything for her mood. "I don't think that'll work, Jacob." She finally replied, her small voice hoarse from going unused for so long. _

_Jacob craned his head down to look at her, his usually vivacious eyes looked unbearably dejected then. Regardless of this however, he forced a smile on for her nonetheless. The smile, intended to be light and reassuring, was instead almost miserable. "Why's that?" he asked softly._

_She didn't look away.__ "Because it…it just _won't."

_He folded his large arms across his massive chest and leant against the expensive window frame. _

_As pathetic as it might sound, it was then that I realised it was hard not to observe, even in my recollection, just how effortlessly __sexy__ he could be. It was as if my apparently more adult mind was magnetically drawn to the top of his jeans, where I noticed half of his fitted T-shirt was tucked in, the other, sitting low. His raven black hair too, I noticed, was enticingly unkempt. __It hit me then that Jacob, without having to say a word or do anything remotely suggestive, exuded something enticing -and more terrifying- elicited something innate and strange in me. _

"_Won't? Or because you just don't want to __try,__ Renesmee?"_

_In an unconscious attempt to mimic him, she too crossed her little arms across her tiny chest, albeit slightly more passionately. "A bit of both, maybe." She admitted, indignantly. _

_As if with concerted effort, Jacob fought a smile and instead frowned, feigning hurt. "Won't you miss me then?"_

_My four-year-old head finally shot up in that instant. Her violent nest of reddish-brown curls bobbing and swaying in defiance. "I _will_," She objected, puckering a brow, at the very thought of him thinking otherwise. "But it's silly to think I can see you when you're not here. That's __just highly improbable. It goes against what Uncle Jazz has taught me about _logistics."

_Jacob nodded understandingly- adoringly even. Again, I got the impression he was indulging in humouring her. "Well, as important as logistics is, Nessie- because, it really __is__-" he added pointedly,__"I'm sure Uncle Jazz will be the first to say-"_

"_That's like saying magic really exists, when we all know _Disney _wants__ you to think this, and I've already _tried _telling Claire, but she just won't believe me." The little girl interrupted, babbling away now. _

_It took a moment for Jake to take this all in. "Wait. _What_? __You don't believe in _magic_?" his voice sounded strange. So strange in fact, you'd think I admitted to killing a man in cold blood. "__Since when__?" _

_She gazed into his troubled eyes then and was temporarily taken aback at just how upset they were finding out this news. At the time, I didn't think it was such a big deal."If I can't see it, then no."_

_He was unmoved by my answer, and so I elaborated. "If I can see it and if I can touch it, then it's real. __And..." she began adding, attempting to answer his latter query, "…it happened a couple of months ago when uncle Emmett was trying to do magic, but I saw the handkerchief hiding in his sleeve."_

_He blinked spastically then. "And you told Claire this too?"_

_She returned her gaze back to the pane again, now attempting to stare down an old willow tree in the distance. Her grandmother's love for landscape maintenance, she silently mused to herself, made Cullen land enticing and enchanting- almost worthy of something belonging to a fairytale. "Well, I thought she had a right to know the truth, Jake."_

_He didn't say anything._

_And then his worrying silence drew out a newfound paranoia in her. She frowned in uncertainty. "Did I do something wrong?" She finally asked quietly._

_There was a brief pause where Jacob looked like he was thinking of how to best word what he was about to say. I remember thinking if the situation wasn't so depressing, the look on his face would've made me laugh. _

_Jacob looked adorable when he thought for long moments at a time. "Well," he finally began, totally oblivious to the little girl's observations, "…let's just say we're gonna have to give Quil or Emily a quick call later to iron out _that _crease." _

_I puckered my brow again. "But... I _did _make a crease?"_

_Again, he briefly thought how to word this next bit. "You're special." He started again unhurriedly. _

_The little girl rolled her eyes at that. I was convinced- and to this day, still am- about Jacob Black seeing me through some sort of rose-tinted glasses. I loved him, but I couldn't help thinking his observations about me would hold more weight if he wasn't so biased. _

"_What?" he asked innocently. His indulgent tone made the little girl want to smile, I remember, but she had to remember that she was supposed to remain angry with him. It was difficult however, to _not_ smile when you were around Jake. Next to impossible even. "You are." He continued, " And I know you know this..."_

_The room fell silent once more._

"_I don't want to be special. I just want to be me." _

"_Pretty girl, you still don't get it do you? Being 'just you' already makes you special."_

_She sighed despondently._ "_Depends on what you think is special, Jacob. To most people… I'm probably something to be scared of. But it's okay. Not everyone's going to like what I am." I was very aware from an early age- thanks to Caius, having described me as a mutant in a clearing abundant of snow, that not everyone was going to appreciate what I was. _

_All I knew however, was that I wasn't alone in this world. A man just like me came and saved us all and I knew I'd always be his friend._

_I looked back up at Jacob then. His vacant eyes were filled with tears. It was something I had never seen before. Not from Jake. _

_I took his hand in mine and squeezed it gently. Frankly, I remember this scared me._

_Suddenly, as if only now aware of me reassuring him, he blinked back the tears. He used his other hand and with his index and thumb, sloppily wiped them away. I got the impression he was mustering up a sense of strange casualness as he did this, trying to _not _get me curious. "Is that really what you think?" he croaked, clearing his throat._

_I shook my head, my feverish tendrils following suit._ "_I don't think it. I _know _it. And it's okay. I don't understand sometimes, but I accept it. I scare some people." _

_He shook his head too, an annoyed look on his face now. "It's okay?" he repeated in an uncharacteristic deadpan voice. And then he paused to sigh. "You've got it so wrong, princess." He knew how much I hated that nickname, but the little girl was far too discomforted by how soft and composed his words came out. It was a stark contrast to his expression._

_I didn't want to argue with Jacob on this, so I let it go. "Claire doesn't know how lucky she is to know magic still exists."_

_He held his breath and didn't say anything. This was something- to this day- I didn't understand. It was if he was biting his tongue...preventing him from sharing something with me._

"_I wish I was like that. I wish I was like Claire."_

_"Why?" Jacob finally exhaled loudly and looking at me in undefined horror. "You're perfect the way you are. And Ness, magic _does _exist. You're here, aren't you? Magic brought you to me."_

_What did _that_ mean? _

_I raised a curious brow at that and a new question was born. "Jacob, where do babies actually come from?"_

_Jacob's beautiful face was drained of all colour and his once playful eyes bulged into what I could only describe as the size of saucers. Short of looking like he was having a heart attack, he composed himself long enough to form a sentence. "Er… I just told you._ Magic."_ Wanting to place emphasis on the last word, he even did the jazz hands._

_Hmm._

_Not quite satisfied with that explanation, I asked another one. "Why can't momma and daddy make more magic so I can have a little brother?"_

_Jake craned his neck down and eyed me curiously then. "Is that what you want?"_

"_I wouldn't mind." I shrugged. I poked his left hand with my right index and quickly flashed him everyone I knew… _

_Nahuel- the man who saved me, had his sisters. Jacob had his sisters –not to mention his pack brothers. Claire had her older sister. Daddy had his brothers and sisters. Mom kind of had Jacob… _

"_A little brother?" Jacob repeated again after I had finished. _

"_Someone to take care of so I didn't feel like the baby." I explained almost impatiently, as if that was the most obvious explanation in the world. "I'd feel a little normal…" To have someone who shared the same genetic makeup..._

"_Ness, why would you want to be normal when you can be spectacular?"_

_The little girl sighed against the window. The warmth of her breath expelled a lasting mist, leaving moisture against the previously unspoiled window. She decided to draw a butterfly with her index finger. The family had recently found out she was left-handed, and according to Rose, with a creative streak apparently rivalling her own father's. "Sometimes... being spectacular is overrated, Jacob." She said quietly._

"_Sure." He conceded, again, so softly. "A bit like being normal."_

_To that, she said nothing, now drawing a companion for her fluttering butterfly –a dog._

_Jacob sighed again, this time out of meloncholy. "What I'm trying to say here is, you'll see things in the world the way other kids won't…"_

_She knew what this meant. "Claire still believes in magic." She helped finish, figuring the obvious out too late. The damage was now done and she hated feeling so stupid. Stupid for not realising she'd compromised someone's take on the world. Not just anyone's: her friend Claire's. _

_We finally appeared about the same age when we stood next to each other- Claire looking slightly more older if anything._

_Inhaling noisily through his nose, Jacob held his breath. "Yeah." And then he finally exhaled, "Telling her otherwise is going to just upset her…"_

_In a state of horror, Child-me stopped drawing for a moment. "I didn't want to upset her…"_

"_I know, honey, I know. Maybe 'upset' is the wrong word to use here..." _

_The little girl returned to her window, her eyes momentarily glazing over with tears. "Ness, you wanna talk about why you don't believe in magic?"_

_She was way too engrossed in her doodling now –any excuse to stall the coming conversation. _

"_Fine. We don't have to talk about it."_

_She realised a little late in the day, that the butterfly was way too high up in the sky, whilst the pup was still on the ground, desperately trying to play with it. _

"_I don't think you upset Claire, Ness..."_

_She frowned at the now-flying-butterfly. It was too high for her pup to reach. _

_Stupid butterfly._

"_I think it'd just confuse Claire, you know…." Jacob finally concluded. Finally, he began observing for himself what she was so engrossed in doing against the window. "And, Nessie, it's okay. You didn't know…"_

_Before Jake could get a chance and discern what it meant, she quickly rubbed away the offensive doodle using her sleeve. "Maybe you're right." She blurted out- an attempt to distract him from his prying. "She didn't look upset when I told her. She just looked at her DVD cover and _frowned."

"_Hm." Jacob replied. Having witnessed her desperate attempts to conceal whatever it was, he eyed her dubiously- suspicious of her doodling now__. "I'm definitely going to have to call Quil or Emily later I think. How long ago was this?"_

"_Before we left for here…" she shrugged her small shoulders. _

_The sullen little girl went back to gazing out the window. Like a ghost, she watched on from the confines of her foreign, new room, as her bear-like uncle began teasing his wife. Simultaneously, he began compiling materials he ordered a few days previously in order to put together his latest outdoor project. _

_Apparently he was going to construct a jungle gym, sturdy enough for a half vampire to play on… _

****

_It was a while before either of them had spoken again. It felt like they were both lost in their own thoughts, and found quiet solace just by being around each other._

"_Right." Jake was the first to break the silence, his voice almost sounding like cackling thunder against the comparative stillness. "Well, Nessie, you can't see love. Does that mean that doesn't exist?"_

_Comprehending his words, not for the first time that day, did she frown. "Bad example, Jacob. Emotions exude changes in the body all the time. That's actually what uncle Jazz manipulates."_

"_Oh."_

"_So actually, we can see them if you think about it." She replied, matter-of-factly._

"_Right. How stupid of me."_

"_Besides, that's not what I mean when I say I need to see it to believe it any way, __Jacob."_

_Jacob bit back a smile._

"_I see love everyday when daddy kisses momma. It's always like he hasn't done it in a while..."_

_Jacob screwed up his face then. "_Yeah_.__ I get what you mean by that. Do you get sick of it sometimes?" _

"_Not really." She shrugged, turning back to look at Emmett who was now hammering away to the music that was blasting through his ipod. He was _deliberately _ignoring Rose right now._

Bad move,_ the little girl thought to herself._

_Even as a child, she knew the consequences of uncle Em ignoring Rosie. She knew they fought a lot, but made up almost instantly. The making up consisted of her aunt hitting him a lot around the head though. It was something child-me didn't quite understand, but loved to watch. _

_She also observed that when it came to thrashing and hammering things, her uncle looked like he was enjoying himself just a little _too much_._

_The little girl worried about him sometimes. _

"_I play with Rosie and my uncles when _they_ decide to do that. And when _they're_ not around, I read or Google."_

_Jake nodded knowingly, deliberately turning away from the _now_ two grappling forms outside. "Good call."_

"_And Jake, I see love when they're wrestling, too. They like to do that a lot." _

_It took him a moment to figure out what wrestling meant before she felt him become visibly rigid- something I didn't quite understand at the time. "Is that so?" he asked slowly, his voice unusually even. _

_Not looking away from Emmett's dodgy efforts of escapism, she nodded, her dishevelled curls bobbing brutally alongside her. Jacob couldn't fight back an adoring smile then. "Uh_-huh_. In the mornings, they stop though. Momma usually sounds really out of breath, and happy."_

_She looked up, smiling timidly. _

_Jacob didn't smile back though. _

_His eyes were intently boring holes on the ivory-white carpet of my new room. He looked lost, deep in thought once more._

"_What's wrong?"_

_Her enquiry appeared to shake him up again, "Nothing's wrong, honey. I'm just gonna have to have a word to Ed about that later too, I think…" he replied, more to himself. "Stop trying to change the subject."_

_She frowned. "I'm not!"_

"_Sure, sure. My point is," he began, "…that just because we can't see something doesn't mean it's not there."_

_The little girl screwed her face again. Clearly, the unmistakable scepticism was difficult to suppress for her. "That's just…_stupid_."_

"_S'not." He disagreed, sounding indulgent again. He knelt down to level his eyes with her own. They were so intense. Abruptly, her pouting face looked away, not wanting to yield. "When you miss me the most, just close your eyes, and try?" He said tenderly._

_Then, shocking them both, she hissed. It was a sound most would consider the least threatening, but Jacob tried not to laugh._

"No_!"__ She protested, stomping her little foot again. It left a small dent on the floor and she bit her lip in resentment. _

_Jacob, raising an eyebrow, fell back to regard her more closely._

"_I can't see you if I have my eyes closed." She explained, more exasperated than ever. _

_He briefly flashed a heart-stopping smile. A smile that almost melted her icy stance. To an unusually observant little girl though, it was a smile filled with pain she couldn't quite place. Grief? "I'm not going anywhere just yet, kiddo." He offered quietly._

_Her face fell and her eyes once more glazed over with swelling tears yet to be shed. She was more aware than ever that he was leaving her. "I don't want you to go." She mewled, the anger instantly evaporating into absolute desperation. "_Pleassse _don't go." She pleaded, grabbing his huge, muscled forearms. _

_With a sting of displeasure, my four-year-old-looking eyes grew wide and was temporarily boggled at just how pale my little hands looked in contrast to Jake's beautifully warm, russet skin._

_Her touch just looked so out of place on him. And this stark, discomforting contrast seemed to break her heart even more._

"_Baby, we talked about this…" he cooed, softly, the unmistakable sorrow wrought in his own voice. _

_A protesting, whimpering sound escaped her trembling lips again. As if looking for another tactic, her distraught eyes were once again wide with anguish and began desperately searching around her room- _anything_to help her case._

"_Honey, look at me." Jake urged softly. His large hand cupped her tiny, tear stained face, as he tried to get her attention. I didn't miss the silent anguish locked away, desperate to be let out too._

_She refused to meet his searching eyes however._

_Looking back on it, __desperate__ was __not__ the word I'd use to describe just how absolutely and completely _distraught_ I was._

"_Pleaaase. _Please _don't leave." She cried in such unconditional grief, that Jasper had to crane his head around the door in quiet concern._

"_Everything okay?" he asked quietly, despite knowing full well _nothing_ was okay. _

_It never would be. _

_To this child, it felt like the roof was caving in and my two-and-half-year old existence was crashing down all around me. Regardless of this very crucial fact, my uncle took small, cautious steps and ventured into my room. I didn't overlook him eyeing my sobbing form sympathetically._

_I didn't want his sympathy. I didn't want his understanding. I wanted his help._

_The struggling little girl collapsed into Jake's chest and began painfully dry-heaving her heart out- choking out the flood of tears. I remember in my distraught state, I was struggling to breathe that day. Only the sweet cadence of Jake's heart kept me calm enough to stop._

_And in that moment, I wanted to hide from the world. I buried myself into him so desperately, because I simply didn't want anyone to see me cry. _

_And I certainly didn't want anyone pitying me._

_She didn't want anyone to see her sobbing, even though she was getting Jake's black T-shirt absolutely drenched with her tears. Jacob didn't seem to care, and clung to her as desperately as she needed him._

_Her already loose ponytail had now come completely undone and although he tried for a brief moment to put it back on her, her head flinched away in avid protest. Her furious curls were sticking to her wet face now. Not knowing what to do with it, Jacob wore her pink Hello Kitty hair band on his wrist instead. _

_And like a veil, her coat of mangled hair was covering her face now. _

_She preferred it this way. It helped her bury herself further. It helped her until she realised someone was trying to stroke away her much-loved mask. _

_No. It certainly didn't help that the traitor's fingers were intertwining with my curls, lovingly stroking them out of the way so he could see my tortured little face more clearly."_Please_tell him to stay!" She choked, finding her new approach: this time _pleading _with Uncle Jazz. _

_As if he could change Jake's mind. _

_Jasper looked like he was suffering along with her. _

_I remember feeling that was no good. Clearly Jasper was just as upset about this as me._

_Unhurriedly, her hunched figure turned back to Jake. She felt like a fighter with absolutely no fight left in her._

_Jacob was silent as he met her pained brown eyes. He didn't say anything. In fact his face simply crumpled in undeniable pain. A pain, I was surprised to see, mirroring my own childlike __agony__. He searched the little girl's eyes and began to wordlessly stroke her tears away again. _

"_NO." She cried, once more whipping her face away from his hands in defiant rage now. _

_Hurt by the sudden rejection, Jacob made a strange, wounded sound, as if he were physically _hurt_ seeing me so distraught. _

_This didn't go unnoticed by the little girl either. Indeed, through the obvious anger and the betraying tears, she shot him a suspicious look_. _"Why are _you _crying? _You're_ not the one who has to stay here. _You're _not the one who has no friends here. _You're_ the one leaving and going back home. _You're _the one leaving __me."_

_He shook his head, swallowing hard and attempted to wrap his arms around me even tighter- something I didn't think was possible at the time. "I'm not leaving you. I could _never_ leave you. Please don't think that…"_

_The distraught child ignored him. "You _are _because you're not _staying._"_

"_Honey, we've talked-"_

"_You're not allowed to cry!"__ She announced, trying to ignore the strange ache in her throat. I remember thinking it was a different type of pain I was usually accustomed to, so foreign and unexpected. Not the one I usually had when I was thirsty. This pain was like a painful lump I couldn't quite swallow down. It made things difficult to talk to him, to fight back the tears._

_Jacob cleared his throat and pulled away to regard me again, the look of pain- of sadness, still evident in his features and his eyes. "Ness, we talked about this, remember? We'll still see each other. All the time. You need to be a big girl and spread your wings without me for a while. You need to learn to do that all on your own, baby."_

_Thinking back to her idiot butterfly, she shook my head vehemently again at that. "I'm _not _a baby."_

"_Of course, you're not." Jake conceded slowly-_ condescendingly. _It was his attempt at trying to alleviate the already disastrous situation. "You're a_ toddler_. __There's a clear difference." _

_She whimpered now against his neck, "Why don't_ I _get a say in my life?"_

"_Because you're too little and, just like everyone around you, I love you and want what's best for you." He replied._

_She reluctantly contemplated this for several inconsequential moments and then lifted a defiant little hand to meet his strained, patient face._

_I remember leasing all my woes- my misery, the devastating qualms I'd felt upon finding out and I let them flood his mind like a sheet of black rain. Hard to ignore. _

_I rested a dimpled hand against his neck._ What if you're what's best for me?_ I asked silently, praying this would break him. I was momentarily irked however, by just how small and inconsequential my voice sounded, even in my mind. Just so vulnerable. _

_He didn't say anything and slowly- as if indifferently, blinked back the tears._

What if you're good? What if you're what's best for me?_ I continued, desperately now._

_And then my four-year-old wide-awake eyes observed as his face crumpled in unquestionable grief. Grief he had been trying to reign in all this time._

_The little girl was thoroughly confused now._

_"One day, you'll understand." He croaked, trying to sound reassuring-_ convincing_ even, and failing miserably. "One day, it'll-"_

_But his words were lost to her now and realisation finally hit my physically four-year-old self, and it only spurred me to become even more distraught. _

_In his arms, the little girl began fidgeting. __Indeed, fidgeting and pushing away from him. I wasn't acting myself at all. Kicking and squirming, I was desperate to break free from his iron clasp hold- something I never thought I'd feel. "Renesmee…" _

_My pleas were obviously in vain. Spurred on __by that disconcerting thought, I ignored his soothing affects and struggled to break away at first. He sighed and, accepting what I wanted, he didn't fight my tries and let me go, albeit reluctantly._

_I leapt a foot away from him._

"_Nessie, honey, it's not like this is forever. I'll visit. And we're gonna see each other all the time." He croaked, his conflicting eyes following my slowly receding form._

"_No." I stomped again, backing away from his tormented profile. "You just don't love us enough anymore to stay." It came out a shaky, irate whisper. I remember feeling slightly surprised to see my furious little voice cracking in places I didn't want them to. _

"_Er…Shall I get Edward?" Jasper asked quietly. "Maybe she'll calm it if he talks to her…"_

_Child-me whipped her head to regard Jasper. She scowled at her traitor uncle. "I'm not stupid. Daddy's going to say the same thing!" she shrieked, the tears swelling __again. "Jacob just doesn't want to be with us anymore."_

"_No." Jake argued back, his voice absolute. I wasn't quite sure who that was towards: me or Jasper. "That's not true and you know it, Renesmee." _

Ah_,_ _me then._

_Child-me hadn't realised she had backed herself into a corner until her back hit the wall._

_She resented this room. _

_I recall feeling it was a stranger's room to me. Back then, I yearned to be back in Forks- back to Claire, Embry, Quil, Grampa Charlie, Sue, Aunt Lee and Seth too. Everyone I loved was back there. My _home_ was back there._

"_I don't think I like you very much anymore." I finally declared, the tears falling like a flood now. Her plump, rose petal lips jutted with the hurling of her words. __At the time, maybe I wanted it to be true—just fib to myself to make the hurt vanish._

_Jacob instantly froze. Even his breathing momentarily stopped. __Completely stunned by my insensitive words, it simply stopped him cold._

_And then she instantly regretted it_. I_ instantly regretted it. His big beautiful eyes were full of awful aguish. Anguish _I _had created. And I hated myself for it. I had hurt him. _

"_Nessie_, please_ don't say that..."__ He said, with a voice so small it was barely recognisable. It was strange to hear it cracking in places too. He even blinked back his own stinging tears now._

"Why_?__ It's the truth." She argued, ignoring the all consuming__, _nagging_ feeling of hurting him. I __hated __hurting __him._

"_It's not." Jasper interjected, sitting on my big, new, __foreign__ bed now. "She doesn't mean it, Jacob."_

_My accusatory eyes briefly flickered over to where my conspiring-uncle had sat. I was disgruntled at just how sad he looked for me. "Jacob, shall I get one of the girls?" He asked again. "It's just I can't seem to calm her down and I think Edward's out with Carlisle. Maybe a mother's touch is what's needed here…"_

"_I don't want that." I snapped, shoving my body as powerfully as I could possibly manage against the wall._

_Not even Bella could stop me feeling this way right now._

"_I don't need _anything_! I don't need _anyone_!"__ I screeched. "And I don't need _you_." __I bellowed, turning back to Jacob and shooting him a venomous look._

_Of course, I didn't mean this. I was just too busy having my first, real breakdown to stop the words from spilling out of my own mouth, like a tragic impact of trains._

_To the little girl's immense satisfaction, her collision with her wall caused an imposing dent._

"_Nessie, _stop it_."__ Jake chided half-heartedly. _

_In that moment and with the unmistakable noise I was making, I sensed someone else enter my room then. "Hey, Ness, come outside for a minute. I got something to__ show __you,"__Emmett__ sang, entering my room. "Woah." He breathed, his voice dramatically lowering as he took in the scene before him before admiring my handy work from afar. "I'm impressed, Squirt." __He finally commented, as he joined Jasper on my bed._

"_Now's not the best time to show her, Em."_

"_I gathered."_

_The little girl ignored them both and balled all her strength into hurling her body weight against the wall again. __"I"-thwack- " _don't"-_thump-_ "_appreciate"- split-"being" –crunch- "talked" –crack- "about"-snap- "as if" –wallop- "I'm not"-whack- "here either."__ She sniped before she __began beating the crap out of the wall with her head._

"_Oh, my _God_, stop that _now!_"__ Jake freaked, his face a homage of horror as he lunged at her small frame. _

_In one fluid movement, she quickly darted out of the way, ignoring them all._

_I was aware Jasper looked bowled over with my previous words._

_And…_

Crack.

_This time, there were visible fracture lines where my powerful little hands had formed fissures in the dense, plastered wall. And like black veins, they creeped their way up the great distance slowly, to meet the high ceiling above. _

_She stood to admire her personal attack on her boring wall. I remember thinking the clefts and fissures were a nice contrast against the plain, uninteresting white. In a bid to win me over with the move, grandma wanted me to pick and choose what I wanted to go on my walls. __At the time however, understandably, it took me a while to appreciate the gesture. _

"_What's going on?" Emmett asked Jasper in an childlike voice, struck with awe. He asked, unable to __not __look away from my abusing the house too. "What did you guys _do_?__ What's _wrong_ with her?"_

"_What _we've _done?" Jasper asked in disbelief. "Em, you can't be serious?"_

_Emmett was entirely oblivious to Jasper's responce, and instead, didn't look away. It was as if the strange curiosity was getting the better of him and my vampire uncle was physically struggling to pry his eyes away._

"_It's your fault she's like this now, you idiot. Her parents had a plan. They were going to break this to her gently."_

"_Hey, it was an accident." Emmett replied, finally-_ reluctantly _tearing his focus away to regard his brother. He smiled sheepishly. "And it's not like I'm not paying for it now."_

_Aunt Rose wasn't impressed with his inadvertent blurting, I remember. His earlier ignoring can't've helped his case or alleviate the situation._

"_What should we do?"_

"_I don't know."_

_Child-me took her hands and balled them into tight little fists now, trying to block everything out as I began attacking the architectural concrete, the plastering. "_Stop" –_punch- "talking" –thwack- " about me!"_

"_Err, Ness, I'd stop that now if I were you, honey. Grandma's not gonna like it."_

_Like a tide of absolute destruction, I started thumping into the heavily __insulated surface, only vaguely aware the three grown men behind me, looked on in a mixture of awe, horror and disbelief. __Actually, that was Emmett's, Jacob's and Jasper's faces- _in that order_._

_It felt good to punch the hard plaster, to hit a brick wall. Because that's essentially what this was. Hitting a brick wall. I didn't even notice my bleeding knuckles as I relished slamming through the cavity until Jasper began hissing in discomfort._

"_Stop it!" Jake growled, forcibly clasping my hands into his stronger ones. Like someone possessed, I growled at him and fought with all my might to avoid succumbing to his calming effects on me. _

_I didn't want to feel calm right now and I made that perfectly known._

_He ignored me and wordlessly, picked me up and held me against his hard body so tightly I could barely breathe at first. I hissed again in protest, fighting -quite feebly- to get away from him. _

_Instead, quite amazingly however- as if instinctually- I breathed in his familiar musky, __heady _scent and was lost_. All my furious rage, my violent need to destroy, gone. The painful ache, the awful fullness in my throat was replaced it however, and with it, I remembered feeling what a strange foriegn discomfort this was. "Stop it right now, Renesmee." He cooed into my hair. He sat on my bed and took my bleeding knuckles into his large hands, observing them in horror. "_God, _you're bleeding."_

"_Ah, that's nothing. She'll be fine." Emmett shrugged. _

_I didn't understand why at the time, but Jacob bit back a growl. It was so powerful; I heard it rumbling fiercely- menacingly, in his chest. _

_I remember asking myself why he was angry with Emmett when it was I making all the mess. _

"_Cool it, Jake." He continued softly, and then turned to me. "They're just grazes, aren't they Loch-ness?" _

_I whimpered, again, wanting to hide into Jacob now. Indeed, s__ensing this, Jacob just wrapped his arms tighter around me, letting me bury myself into him._

_Her mind wondered briefly as she referred back to the wall. A__ware now of the implications her actions caused, she was anxious as to what her father would say to her destroying a small corner of her room. She bit her blood-red lips in worry. _

_When her breathing became more even, she closed my eyes against his chest. She wanted, so desperately, for everything to just be the way it was back in Forks._

"How _are you doing that?" Jasper asked him curiously from behind._

_Jacob didn't answer, and instead, began to carefully stroke my hair out of my face again. "I don't want to go either, Ness…" _

"_Then don't." I whined against him._

_At the time, I thought it was a simple enough request. Certainly, if he didn't want to leave, I didn't understand why he had to make us both miserable like this._

_He sighed however. It was a broken, haggard, barely audible sound- a sound of silent misery. "Jazz, Emmett, I got this." He murmured as if only just remembering they were still there over my head. _

_I didn't hear them leave when I lifted my heavy head up to see them. Only now was I feeling the throbbing pain, albeit a little belatedly. I could feel the tightening of my small muscles, particularly of the upper back -my tiny shoulders were hunched -as if compulsively, my neck too, rigid and my head, simply swimming in a raw place. It was all an innate capability in lowering a persons tolerance to pain._

_Before my eyes swept over my bed, I noticed both my uncles were already gone. _

_Ironically, all I felt right now was pain. __Indeed, I let my face collapse back and nestle itself into the crook of his neck. His massive body felt like a warm cocoon right now. Always safe. Always protecting me. A place I never wanted to leave if I could help it. _

"_Then why are you leaving?" Child-me asked again, my rough voice muffled against his neck. Though it only took a few minutes for me to calm it completely, my breathing however, was an entirely different story. With the flood of endorphins swimming in my system- a natural responce to the stressful situation- the random spouts of uneven breathlessness that came after the aftermath of a good cry attacked me periodically. I didn't know back then that this was my body's way of coping._

_Each time, Jacob began rubbing reassuring circles against my tiny back. It helped._

"_Have we" –heave, heave, heave- "done something" –sigh- "to upset you?" _

_I stopped, desperately trying to get my breathing even again so I could communicate more effectively with him. _

_He waited. He waited so patiently I wanted to cry all over again._

_He even began to rub a few more circles on my hunched back, cradling me in his arms slowly. "I'll tell Aunt Rosie to stop teasing you if you want." _

_Softly, he chuckled and kissed the top of my hair tenderly. It was an unusual sound. One I hadn't ever heard Jake make. It sounded so forced. More like he was clearing his throat. "Don't do that. You'll be stopping the fun, pretty girl."_

_I considered this in my dry heaving and couldn't quite understand their squabbles. I could only imagine it to be out of love for each other. A deeply buried, hidden affection._

"_Oh." I conceded, my four–year-old voice so small and coarse after the not-so-mini tantrum. "Then have _I_done something wrong? I'll finish what daddy cooks for me every night if you want."_

_As if magnetically drawn, child-me saw his Adam's apple bob up and then painfully back down. "I expect you to do that anyway, little miss." _

_As if it were a final stab of protest, she shook her head against his massive chest, rubbing her eyes. They felt so sore. "I won't if you don't stay…" Her voice began to dangerously wobble again._

_At the time, I only thought this was fair._

_His face crumpled however._

"_I'd do it, Jake."_

_With that, his already tight grasp on me, tightened more powerfully. It was as if his arms were made just for me- just to hold and cradle me. It was an irrational conclusion I had come to as a child, and as quickly as the thought flooded my mind, I had to shove it to one side, never wanting to think it again. "You drive a hard bargain." _

_Finally understanding the reality of the situation now, she smiled sadly. "Do we have a deal then?" I couldn't help asking it. __It was hard not to hide the hope- the naïve optimism; despite knowing it was all in vain. __He kissed her hair tenderly again- a soothing gesture I knew, but I took it as silent confirmation. Indeed, not for the first time that day, did he begin to slowly rock his large torso from side to side, cradling me. _

_I fell back into him, knowing full well what the answer would be before he'd even uttered a word. _

"_Sorry, baby girl." _

_Her comparatively small arms clutched at his neck then. And then she sighed. It was either that, or cry again. "I'll miss you a lot."_

_And there it was again: Jacob's eyes crumpling in unmistakable pain. "Not as much as I'll miss you." He tried to laugh._

_I realised even back then, he was putting on a brave face. Why? Who was he kidding?_

"_I don't understand why you're doing this."_

_Truly, I didn't._

"_Sometimes, it's best to leave people you love. To give them room to grow…" he breathed, once more gently kissing my hair. I ignored the snow outside and observed his transparent reflection against the window. His eyes closed when he did this, as if he were breathing in my scent and not wanting to forget._

_Just like I had moments ago with him._

"_I have this big house. Isn't that plenty of space? It's not like you're_ that _big."_

_With his eyes closed, he swung her gently in his arms again. "You know that's not what that means…"_

_There was silence. She snuggled deeper into his warmth._

_"This isn't fair." _

_She felt him once more rub calming circles on her tiny back then. "You'll love it here, Ness. It's so pretty. I _promise_ you won't feel alone. Just…" He sighed as if the words were too painful to say out loud, "…give it a chance."_

_She snorted at that. "I doubt that. You're the only person I can play with and be myself around."_

_He opened his eyes slowly and craned his neck to meet her shying face. When before they were full of silent misery, now they were softer and impossibly more beautiful. _

_The smile he supplied, intended to be bright and reassuring, was almost unmistakably one of melancholy however. It didn't go unnoticed by my child-self, and I remember experiencing my heart breaking for the first time. _

"_That's not true." He murmured, "You can be yourself around your family too. Emmett's always up for a good game of tag. You _know _that."_

_She sighed restlessly against his neck again. "I love them, but it's not the same." She replied, burying her face impossibly deeper into his warmth, wanting to avoid his guilt-ridden eyes. _

_I remember inhaling another greedy lungful and feeling I didn't want to forget his delicious, homely scent. "Plus, Emmett calls it _Humpire_ tag. I don't like that much."_

"_I'll tell him to stop." He soothed quietly, circling his hands once more on my back. Without a sound, she nodded against him. "You know you're my best friend, right?"_

_She exhaled noisily. Her jutting lips, refusing to let words out. "I know…"_

"_Best friends do what's best for each other…"_

"_And momma?" I reminded him, lifting my head up slightly. The throbbing wasn't stopping, but I didn't care. I had found a new angel. "You wouldn't want to leave for momma, would you Jake? She doesn't need space to grow..."_

"_Of _course_.__ But she has Alice and Edward. And I love you more…"__ he replied adoringly again. _

_I remember I didn't say anything to that. That crazy lump wasn't letting me. Instead, my little arms tightened around his neck._

_We stood there in painful silence once more, silently watching the falling snow again. I remember feeling -if I could- I would've just kept that moment and captured it into a toy snow dome._

_I let Jacob cradle me the rest of that evening ._

_***_

"_Ness," He said, his course voice once more breaking the silence like cracking ice, "…you remember what I gave you for your first Christmas?" he asked against my hair. _

_First Christmas… _

_Of course I remembered._

_The little girl immediately broke away from him then and stroked the leather-twined bracelet her left wrist adorned._

_Jake smiled softly. "Yeah, that. Remember what it means?"_

_She looked back at the intricately plaited bracelet, her expression so sombre. "You promised to always be there for me."_

_She didn't look up at him when she answered._

_Jacob's eyes were pained again, but he nodded. "Exactly. And I swear, I'll be there. Anytime you need me. I'm there."_

"_I don't see how." She replied, her voice unusually even, as if hopeless. Ignoring his probing eyes, she began to let her little fingers coast over the pleated patterns instead. With her head bowed down, engrossed in another distraction, her impossibly plump little lips were protruding even more._

"_There'll be days when I won't see you." He began, "…Days when I'll be upset and the only thing to keep me going is a hug from you…" he breathed, refusing to look away from the little girl's pouting face. _

_I avoided his eyes, knowing full well I'd cry again. I remember feeling the strange lump in my throat had returned- with a vengeance. And I hated it. "Ness, look at me please." He urged, gently lifting my chin up with his finger. "You know what I do when you're not around to give me that awesome hug?"_

"_You use speed dial?" She offered._

_A corner of his lips lifted up. "Sometimes, yeah. But when I don't have my cell on me, or I know you're having a nap in that moment__, I usually just close my eyes and think of you. Just to make sure you're okay…It helps all the time."_

_She sighed again, shying away from his intense eyes. "Sure, Jake." She replied, letting her attention get back to tracing the plaits on her bracelet._

_Jacob sighed too, kissing her temple this time. "You'll _always_ be my best friend, Renesmee. Always. Nothings going to change that. You know that too, right?"_

_She nodded grimly whilst his lips were still against her forehead. Unaware of imitating her in his sympathy, he nodded slowly alongside with her._

"_I love you so much. I guess you know that, too?" He said, his voice laden with emotion now._

_Of course I did, but I couldn't say what I wanted to, because it hurt too much. _

_Instead, child-me held out a dimpled hand and placed it against his face. Underneath her hand, and passed the unusual feeling of stubble- truly a foreign feeling considering none of the men in my family had this- she felt his jaws clench for what was to come… _

I love you too. And at least I have my dreams…

_I let go then, and let my hands fall lifelessly._

_He smiled. I didn't know why he bothered. It was a smile wrought with pain__. "Every time I want to see or talk to you, or get the need to want to go hunting with you… I do that and you're there."_

_She eyed him sceptically, "I am?"_

"Yup."

"And_ momma?"_

_He grinned. "Yeah. Sometimes Bella too."_

_She laid my head back down, listening to the sweet, steady cadence of his heart. It was a comforting sound. Something I knew I'd miss so much, it was going to hurt. I swallowed back the painful lump. "What am I doing?"_

"_Well," he began, sounding indulgent again. She had to smile at that. "…last week I saw you arm wrestling with Emmett, and you beat him."_

_She whipped her head back up to look at him, completely in awe. "That __happened__ last week!" She shrieked in wonder. _

"_Told you it works. Try it when I'm not around." He smiled, sounding a little smug._

_She frowned. "I'll feel stupid doing it…"_

_He jostled her in his arms. "Just humour me and try?"_

"_Fine." _

"Good."

_Once more they fell into a comfortable silence. The layers of snow outside were now four inches thick and they observed, half amused, as her uncles began pelting snow balls at eachother with impeccable speed._

"_What if I do it wrong?" she asked apprehensively. _

"_Just concentrate, and you'll see me." Jake whispered into her ear. His hot breath tickled my skin and I couldn't help giggling._

"_But Jake, that's hardly accurate directives. What if I inadvertently stalk someone else?"_

"_That'd be interesting. Let me know if it actually happens."_

"_Jake!" I whined, trying to get him to answer me seriously. He laughed and I relished the sound of the low rumble in his chest. "What if I do it wrong?"_

"_Impossible for you, small fry. Just look for me…and I'll be there."_

* * *

_A/N- All We Are- by Matt Nathanson. I fell in love with this song having first heard it on One Tree Hill__** . **__But then Pinkp introduced me to this awesomely cute song: Rescue You by Jake Epstein. I heart it and her. She's such a darling. ;D_

_Gah. Was it confusing?! I tried to do this memory piece in such a way- dare I say it, I don't think anyone's actually tried it. :S I may be wrong though._

_I have no doubt, I'm probably making up my own literary techniques, adopting a mixture of first and third person narrative…but I wanted her to observe just as much as I wanted her to _relive_ it, only with an adult perspective now. Thus, for the sake of her sanity, and the readers understanding, I wanted her to catch things she otherwise wouldn't've, had she not have recalled it. _

_Also, a lot of people may think I'm weird for this next bit, but I gotta say: I imagined Jake's face -throughout all of this- to be somewhat similar to the one Patrick Dempsey makes. (The adooorable sympathy face when Meredith finally cries out her pain for losing her mum and she's hyperventilating in the store cupboard.) Know which ep I'm talking about? I bet you do. I wasn't feel so bad for her, but more so for McDreamy, watching her cry and wanting to cry himself. _That's _Jake's face when Nessie cries in my mind._

_Any who, I know it deviates from the plot slightly, -scratch that, a lot. Buuut in wanting to make this realistic, I wanted her thought processes to also be pragmatic. _

_As her mind is somewhat different to a normal human girl's, I'd imagine there was a lot in their, flitting about at the same time. Hence, why she gets 'easily distracted.' She inherited that trait from daddy dearest. Lawl._

_**A quick disclaimer**__ on Nessie's pov on all things Disney, love, googling and anything else remotely/potentially __**hum.**__ (Sorry Disney lovers. It's all fictitious!) _

_Google owns Google- not me. Nessie just likes to look stuff up when her parents are otherwise engaged. (ew)_

_Hello Kitty and Baby Dior are owned by their respective owners. I don't own them. They're simply Nessie's clothing preferences._

_Thank you to those following__ this story. Thank you, Lea! Your encouragement means alot! And a special thanks to reesespuff-minus-the-fluff (great name btw.) I absolutely adored your comment. I was blushing furiously, but thank you so much. This chapter is for you guys. I hope you both like. It's certainly one I enjoyed writing…_

_

* * *

__**Here's a little teaser for next chap, bare in mind it's a draft copy:**_

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that and just say, don't play dumb, honey-bun. It really doesn't suit you. See, that's something she doesn't appreciate about you. She just assumes she knows it all…"

"You honestly think that's going to work?" he laughed.

"Doesn't hurt to try…" she shrugged, her glinting eyes on fire now.

"Look either kill me, or let me kill you. You're boring me now."

* * *

_(**NB: I just wanted to apologise to those who've been following this story in so far.** I've done something really annoying and added a few bits in C1 and C3. The reason being, I've realised my work may've been a little on the intense side for many, and because Jake's not here yet, I get the impression..well, you know. In anycase, I was seriously worried about this and so- on an impulse- the changes are merely me adding a few moments attempting to alleviate a tension filled fic lol. (Trying to add dimension to the nessie character too.) **Do not** read this next bit if you intend on referring back to read the changes..._

_In chapter 1- I simply added a convo exchanged between nessie and two of her colleagues. My fave show was the inspiration. In Chap 3 I make her fall off of the sofa in her half-comatose state Jasper left her in. That, and she moans like an old lady about the birds outside. Later, she makes snide comments about her appearence in the mirror. They're very unimportant things, but I enjoyed making myself laugh nonetheless.)_


	8. Chapter 8 Don't Stop Believing

_Chapter 8_

_Author's note: :D_

* * *

Working hard to get my fill  
Everybody wants a thrill  
Paying anything to roll the dice  
Just one more time  
Some will win, some will lose  
Some were born to sing the blues  
Oh the movie never ends  
It goes on and on and on and on

Journey

* * *

_Memories are funny things. Often, they are chapters of a story yet to be told. Often, they are pages of a tale yet to be finished._

_They can also, I realise a little belatedly, give you- the protagonist, _perspective.

Perspective. _This was something else that amused me now._ _Because memories –like chapters in a story- they're experiences we share and learn from, right?_

Right. _You would've thought so, and assumed as much. You would've thought I'd learnt by now to let go. To understand and get over it._

***

His words were still echoing in my mind as I began to slowly recover from the overwhelming feeling of nostalgia. It was staggering how much I could recall in such a brief amount of time.

"Ness?"

My mind, my unmoving body- they remained trained on Jacob's last words from so long ago and so, I desperately clung to them like my life depended on it. I remained fixed, still swathing from the last remnants of that brief stroll down memory lane.

"Renesmee?"

I realised a long time ago that time appears to work a little differently for my thought processes. Unlike normal humans, I was simply too fast. And at times, that very fact discomforted me because it was yet _another_ factor differentiating me from normal girls, reminding me of just how inhuman I was.

"You think she's okay?"

"She's still breathing if that's what you mean."

"Barely."

No longer could I hold on to the memory, because it was then that I realised something else was more important than a memory. Something else I had to do, had to find. Immediately, my eyes snapped open and my mind had once more returned to the present. Through my periphery, the guys were still there, looking expectant, looking hopeful.

"Ness?" A face continued to call. It was the same worrying voice from just a moment ago, disturbing my need to hold onto the feeling of Jake.

I absently met Seth's concerned eyes for the third time that night. He tried unsuccessfully to stop himself from eyeing me with trepidation. Embry stood to his left, arms crossed, waiting patiently. His strong jaws, I noticed, clenched once more, looking determined yet quietly eager. Worried for his best friend as well, his already strong jaw appeared more defined as he did this. It reminded me so much of Jake's chiselled jaws.

Jacob. Oh God, _Jacob._

The mere name in my mind promptly sobered me up and I shook my head to shake away the nerves. Even in the past, Jacob was convinced of this _clairvoyance._ Contradicting any rational thought and absurd to realists, I considered that my whole world was devoted to mythology and folklore that anyone would deem lies- something belonging in a warped, illusory world. How wrong they would be. I live in a world where the supernatural was the norm. So why then, should I be so sceptical and close-minded now? Why, when I knew Jacob's life was on the line? The answer was simple, I wouldn't be. My very being, _my existence_, is fundamentally an unheard of fact was and is it not?

In some cultures, some would dub me a Dhampir. An ultimate warrior for man, an inborn vampire slayer. The latter of course was purely fictitious myth, born from vivid imaginations- totally untrue. Despite this, why did I doubt myself now?

"So all I have to do it look for him? In my mind?" It was a question more to myself than anything. For the third time tonight, my mind was simply swimming with questions, with unwanted, worrying imagery and thoughts I didn't want to think about.

"Yup." Embry nodded. "Trust me, you'll know what to do… it's not something you learn."

Feeling vacant, I nodded. What was that supposed to even mean? Again, for the briefest of moments, I wondered _why me, then? Why could I do this and no one else?_

"Right." I blurted unthinkingly. Again, this was more so for me. Again, I noticed they all looked so expectantly at me. Even Nahuel, I observed through my peripheral, stood still, looking mildly intrigued now.

"I can do this." I breathed, more to myself again. "I _can _do this." I've done weirder things in the past, I thought hopefully. "It can happen..."

And pigs can fly, a sceptical voice I couldn't quite silence retorted back, unbidden.

"Sure it can." Seth encouraged softly. I wasn't quite sure if his response was a sign, indeed directed at my last thoughts about weird pigs defying the laws of simple physics or whether it was over my last spoken words. I had the inclination it was in response to the latter, as, even in my dazed and disorientated state, I didn't think I projected that last doubtful reflection into anyone's mind.

Seth continued to smile sweetly, _encouragingly._ God, I felt terrible. I was choosing now to have a mental breakdown and yet he still had faith in me? Me, of all the unreliable creatures in the world? _Me_?

I'm convinced there's no one else quite like Seth Clearwater. And I truly loved him for this very fact. There was something unique about my only Werewolf uncle, that as a child, I adored and still do. An innocence, a virtue but an undeniable strength that I couldn't help feeling magnetically drawn to. I saw something in him that was truly fascinating, and would often leave my father raising a curious brow observing Seth through _my eyes_. Unlike my paternal uncles, Seth had a strange glow, a fathomless light in him that apparently –according to my father- only I could see. At the time, I didn't think much of this detail and to this day, I don't know what to make of it. He of course, was aware of what I saw, but would often shrug it off, mussing my already dishevelled hair instead. At the time, it was nothing I had every encountered and with my young eyes, I was simply floored and concurrently in awe. I would gush over him unabashedly, every time he visited his stepsister, _my mother,_ and her husband's family and this very detail didn't go unnoticed by Jacob who, I'd notice on occasion, didn't miss any opportunity to tag along with Seth. Indeed, reading the many stories in my grandfather's mammoth library in Hanover, I'd time and again stumble upon legends, stories of King Arthur and his noble Knights at the round table. It was a little girl's fantasy, of history and myths merging into one glorious fairytale. A specific knight I came across in my readings, reminded me frequently of Seth. Galahad, the incorruptible knight, surpassing his father, _Lancelot_, in valour. With a heart so pure and good, he fought like a lion in his quest for justice and peace. Blatantly hero worshipping, that screamed Seth to me.

Right now though, as I took note of him, the incorruptible knight held such hope in his eyes, that I couldn't quite hide the undeniable shame I was feeling. How wrong it was to feel the doubts in my own capabilities, considering it was only wasting precious time. Indeed, it was because of this, that I shoved the last remnants of doubt, the pieces of scepticism at the back of my mind, and wired my eyes shut tightly: trying to concentrate, desperate to see him…

Those words I'd fleshed out from so long ago once more flashed through my mind. _"Just concentrate….look for me…and I'll be there." _The idiot words were a whisper, but his confidence in me, his faith were there, unwavering. No mistaking that. And I couldn't help loving him for it that I ached. I ached all over for him, to be with him right now, to be wrapped safely in his arms. It was insane.

I tried to hold onto some semblance of sense; to get a grip and even fought the irrational need to snivel._ Easier said than done,_ I thought dryly in response to his words. It was strange how it sounded almost as if I were resenting his faith in me.

Perhaps I was. I wasn't even sure anymore.

I was just so angry with him for getting into this situation in the first place. A part of me hadn't even registered just how dangerous things really were for him until now. Newly formed tears threatened to spill over as I silently asked myself exactly how could he think I could be okay with any of this? How could that nimrod think I'd move on so easily with the mere comforts of Seth's consoling words? How could he think his last words would hold any meaning for me when he went ahead and ended both our lives- because essentially he_ was _ending both our lives by turning himself in like this?

Yes, I was aware at the back of my mind, the _sensible_, the _logical_ Renesmee was telling me _he did this for you, for the pack. Do you honestly think he'd have done it if he had a choice?_

She was right, and I knew it, but did I care? No. Inside, I was livid now**; **I was Ren-freaking-Cullen. I graduated from med-school at the age of ten. I'm a freaking child prodigy. I was badass. And he had absolutely _no right_ to fight for me. He had _no right _to sacrifice himself like this. To assume I'd live on and simply forget? His idiotic assumptions simply infuriated me further and now, I wanted to find him to give him a piece of my mind. When before, emotionally, I was coasting nicely on neutral, being simply numb and dazed, white rage was slowly boiling up to the surface. Actually, the gradualism was a lie: first he wants to send me away, now he wants to go kill himself, _sacrifice himself_ and assume we'd all be okay with that? That_ I'd _be okay with that and just live on?

I was full to the brim almost immediately with these newfound realisations. It awoke something feral in me, and I wasn't about to let this Nayha control and take away everything I loved in my life. It was then that I abruptly broke out of my spiralling stupor, and it was also then, in my place of raw, determined odium, I knew absolutely nothing could stop me in that immeasurable moment.

Indeed, with an effort so concerted, I began searching urgently. My eyes were wired shut so tightly, I noticed the red veining underneath my eyelids, branching out and meeting at the edges where they disappeared completely. I noticed the brief flashes of what appeared to be lightening and strange shapes in the dark, when really it was my retina adjusting to the complete blindness.

It was naïve of me to think with simple, sheer determination; I'd be able to locate him. Life can't be _that _straightforward. And this wasn't one of Claire's Disney movies… Oh, how did that one chant go? 'Faith, trust, and just a bit of pixie dust!'

No. It occurred to me that that'd just be too easy. Too simple and uncomplicated.

But I refused to give up. And my thoughts were once again, focused on what I was doing.

_Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob…..where are you? _I thought desperately, reaching blindly in this thick, fathomless darkness. _You said to think of you, and you'd be there. Well, I am and I'm not gonna lie: I feel stupid for doing this. But I am. I'm trying.. And you know why? I'm doing this because you said I could._

Only the bellowing silence filled me. There was nothing- simply infinite darkness in my mind's eye. Again, more than once tonight, I fought back the tears threatening to break free and release themselves, like a floodgate._ You said I could find you whenever I needed you. And...I need you right now, Jake. So where are you? Why can't I see you? Why can't I feel you? _The voice in my mind, the one attempting to reach for him, was wobbling, thick with embarassing emotions_. You said I could do this. You said to concentrate and look for you, and you'd be there. _

Still nothing.

I felt my thick lashes interleaf and saturate with the lingering, ruthless tears escaping through my closed lids now._ I'm an emotional wreck because of you. At work, I had this weird, sinking feeling that, for the life of me, I couldn't ignore. It was so bad, granddad sent me home. Home. My family, they're treating me like I'm some kind of fragile porcelain doll. Easily breakable…_I felt my face crumple_. I know I'm weak, but I'm not completely defenceless._

_No one's saying you are, honey… _that's what he would say if he could hear me whining._ And FYI, you're not weak._

My face furrowed further still, in a pain I hadn't ever anticipated on. Pain that overwhelmed me to the point where I almost pried my eyes open. But I didn't want to lose this…whatever this was.

His voice…I was simply imagining this. Of course I was. His reply, it was my mind's way of coping. Just a manifestation of my desperate subconscious.

_Is it?_ He began, more amused now.

I tried not to panic. It was a totally subconscious need, an unconscious attempt to appease myself, to maintain some semblance of hope, before completely losing it. Losing myself.

_That sinking feeling I felt at the hospital, I couldn't shake it off. I couldn't ignore it, Jake._ I continued, needing to hear his voice again, despite knowing full well it wasn't him.

_I didn't expect you would. _His voice replied softly again. _But listen, Ness, go home. You shouldn't be out here…_

And then I mewled like a three year old._ Why can't I see you? Why… Jake, where are you? _

I could hear Jake's soft chuckled. A part of me found this _funny? _

_Don't worry about me. Take Nahuel, and go home, Nessie. _

_No._

_Renesmee, _he began with an annoying, authoritative air now. _Be reasonable…_

_Be reasonable? _I was painfully aware the only unreasonable thing I committed was slipping out of the house, surprisingly going unnoticed. He however, went rogue and lone wolf on us._ I'm not in your pack Jacob Black, so don't even go there._

He sighed. _You realise you're arguing with yourself here, right? I'm not real._

It was strange, but my stomach lurched uncomfortably with his words. My stomach lurched despite me coming to these conclusions just a moment ago. Of course this wasn't real. It didn't explain the sinking feeling of disappointment I was now experiencing in knowing this though_. _

_Honey, the best place for you right now, is home. _He said more softly again. And it occurred to me that I knew what this was. I knew exactly what this was: self-preservation. It was my mind's final way of urgently trying to communicate to me, to notify me what I was currently doing, could possibly lead me to my death. That it was a suicide mission. For obvious reasons, I didn't want to dwell too much on that though._It's not safe for batboy to escort you either, babe. I mean, really, we tell you there's a vamp out there that can control guys and is targeting _you_ specifically, and what do you go and do? You go and surround yourself with my pack and South America's answer to Enrique?_

I resented Nahuel being compared to Enrique._ Your point?_

_Be smart, and go home, baby…_

_You said to concentrate, and I'd find you. _

_I did, _he conceded, more reluctantly than anything.

_Right now, all I seem to be doing is arguing with an alter ego that sounds suspiciously like Jacob. Can you help me out here please?_

He didn't say anything.

I panicked.

_Jake?! _I shrieked helplessly.

_Sorry, I'm here. _His voice, so sombre now.

_Don't do that! _I snapped, letting the relief sweep over me only briefly. I wasn't afraid to admit the silence scared me. That was obvious. But _how ridiculous._ Not only was I now talking to an imaginary Jacob, but the mere silence of him rendered me unnerved.

_Sorry. I just-_

_Jake, we don't have much time._

_Everything in me is telling me, you need to go home, so excuse me if I'm having a little trouble aiding and abetting you to your would- be-attacker._

I stifled an eye roll._ Jake…_

_I thought it'd scare you into going home… _he admitted._ Don't suppose it worked?_

_Jacob._

_Fine, _he said stiffly.

There was silence in my mind once more, but I felt him ticking. It was a surreal experience.

_Take your time. It's not like you're in a potentially life threatening situation or anything…_

I felt him grin_. _Again, a strange feeling considering it was in my head._ I think I will, thanks. _

I pursed my lips. _Will you please help me? And by help me, I mean hurrying the fugg up._

_You know what they say, patience, is a virtue…_

_Not right now it isn't! And since when do you listen to what other people say?_I snapped back, my desperation instantly evaporating into irritation now. _You're my subconscious right? Another twisted coping mechanism I've resorted to? You want what's best for me? Finding Jake- finding you- is what's best for me right now._

And then as if suddenly, flickers of the impeding darkness haunted every nook and cranny, every shadow. It was a surreal experience, as if I were flying. Infrequent flickerings of _images- of locations_ assaulted my mind, overwhelming my senses and capturing my sight. Flashes of familiar places. Places, I got the impression, he was thinking about…

First Beach…Neah Bay… Cullen land…the main house… the cottage…

I was in a familiar, country-like atmosphere.

_Lake Pleasant?_

_Lake Pleasant, _I heard his voice answer resolutely.

In my mind, it was as clear as day. The darkness drew me in deeper and new images began to flicker through my mind, like an overactive slideshow. It was a remote place. A beautiful place not far from where we stood now. Motionless black mass of distant lake, reflecting the silvery white of the moon was to my left. I could hear the distant rustlings of nightlife scourging in the dense woods behind me. It was so real, I could taste the night air there. That said however, I refused to let him go, to let this connection go. They were scattered glimpses of the present. I saw things as scenes illuminated but the slit of moon casting a silvery veil on anything it touched.

Without being aware of a conscious decision to do so, I found myself moving.

"Woah. Ness, hold up." Embry called, grabbing my left shoulder. Reluctantly I opened my eyes to regard the curious Quiluete faces and Nahuel. I had completely forgotten they were there.

Nahuel. _Oh God_. _Nahuel._

Grief stricken and horrified, only now was I aware of just how dangerous and absolutely_ selfish _it was for me to drag him into this, to literally haul him out with me. It was wrong of me. Why hadn't I thought this through to conclusion? I had to think on my feet quickly, and figure out how to get him to go back _willingly,_ hoping he'd bump into my family. I wanted him safe again.

He looked at more quizzically now, as I'm sure he took in my pained, conflicting expression. "Nahuel, I need you to get my family. Can you do that for me?" I lied, my voice unwavering.

Confusion washed over his gorgeous eyes as he took in my request. "What? No! I'm not leaving your side."

Several, long moments had passed. Moments mainly consisting of Nahuel and I at loggerheads.

"Please, don't argue with me on this." I said desperately. I knew I was acting strange, being unreasonable, but I just couldn't risk him getting hurt either. This worry was a little on the late side, I know, but my mind hasn't been working to its full capacity for three days now.

"Great." He shrugged in nonchalance, "You'll find there's no argument my end. I'm just not leaving you on your own. Your family would never forgive me."

"I won't be alone. Seth and Embry are coming with me." I lied. There was no way I was taking them with me either, but if this was the only way to appease Nahuel, so be it. I'd deal with Embry, Seth and the pack later.

"Can I ask why them and not me?"

"You can, I just won't answer." I turned to face the pack now, knowing how harsh I sounded. It was for his own good.

"Renesmee, going back to your family -_without you-_ is…how to put this understatedly? _Suicide."_

"They won't kill you." I assured him. Or at least Rose wouldn't enjoy doing so, I thought more plausibly to myself. "Dad'll see everything I've done in your thoughts. He won't like it. And then he'll want to kill me himself." I said sombrely. "So he'll most likely want to keep you alive long enough for you to help him find me." That was certainly true, I silently conceded.

"Oh, marvellous." Nahuel breathed. "You drag me out here only to order me to fall back?"

I sighed despondently, dredging up another tactic: "Nahuel, I'm surrounded by men right now. I don't think it was clever of me to have brought you along for the ride in the first place…"

He looked hurt by the rejection, but realisation finally washed over his face, momentarily silencing him. "I wouldn't…I wouldn't _hurt _you, Nessie..."

I was surprised to hear how undeniably hurt he sounded, but I didn't have time to reassure him right now."I know." I replied softly. "Of course you wouldn't. But what she can do, pretty much overrides any free will. You wouldn't know you're doing it." _Just a puppet and she's pulling the strings_, I thought dejectedly to myself. "Go Nahuel. Go find my mom, my aunts… please?"

For a long moment, we stared each other down. He was unwilling, that was obvious but I was completely serious about him leaving me here. He nodded grimly -_reluctantly_, before becoming a veritable blur of speed. His departure left a powerful gust of wind, and I wondered briefly, watching the dust settle, if that happened when I did the same thing.

And then my thoughts were briefly back on his safety. I silently speculated if he was going to be okay getting back home on his own. _Of course he would be,_ I thought hopefully. _She was with Jake right now._

Jacob. _Oh God, Jake._

"What's happening, Ness?"

Embry's voice dragged me out of my nightmarish reverie. "Lake Pleasant." I croaked. It was all I could muster up saying.

***

Her laughter. It echoed in my mind all too clearly, haunting me. For the second time that evening, unaware of a conscious decision to do so, my attention was split and I found myself moving once again.

This time, I didn't wait to be stopped, to explain. I broke into a powerful run.

"Ness! Wait!" A voice called back from behind me.

Dazed and disorientated, I didn't think to notice whether the others were following me, it simply felt like my strong legs were hurling me in no discernable direction and with the cold, night air hitting my sensitive ears- my skin, I was only now awake to the blurring surroundings as I pushed myself further forward.

Without realising, I noticed where I was and came to find I was heading northeast.

Running, ducking and weaving through the forest in an unusually inhuman speed, I was resolute. No more wasting time thinking, or planning. When before I claimed my attention was split, it truly was, because now, with an effort so determined, I didn't think it was in me to begin with, I saw his face this time.

His sweet, beautiful, _strong _face. It snapped up just as I located him and I got the impression he was momentarily distracted. What was he doing? His deep, fathomless eyes, always so intriguing to me, often secretly holding me captivated, looked so unbearably tired, restless even. His usually warm skin too, appeared almost pasty against the silvery veil of moonlight. It was distracting and simultaneously discomforting. I didn't like it.

Despite my obvious concerns however, sheer relief swept over me then, as I sprinted. He was okay. For now, he was alive. Everything in me jarred to life and I all I wanted to do was to simply wrap my small arms around his neck and hold him to me. This only spurred me to launch myself further forward as I headed north onto South Forks Avenue. I began following the 101 towards west Division Street. It was a long, thick stretch of dual carriageway, and I was distantly conscious of the fact that despite my desperate attempts to get to Jake, I had to be equally vigilant in keeping hidden. We didn't want another reason for a Volturi visit. Darting into the darkness, I shuddered at the mere thought. Thankfully the coat of night acting as a convenient veil, helped with said cause. To the untrained, human eyes, all there was were the indiscernible shadows. With the exception of a few passing logging trucks, the roads too, I noticed were conveniently vacant, naked of any passing vehicles- of witnesses. I lunged at the air, hurling my legs forward, ignoring my protesting lungs that felt like they were on fire.

"This ends now." I heard his distinctively stern, male voice echo in my mind, distracting me once more. The strained control in his voice was marked, boiling so feverishly beneath the surface. And then of course I realised I've never heard Jacob sound so obviously uncompromising. I tried to not let this distract me. Jacob was always so indulgent and sweet with me, so this was a stark, oh-so-sexy contrast. And –dodging another branch- I felt _disgusted _with myself for even noticing it at a time like this. Now, was _not_ the time.

"But why, Jake? It's _me…"_ Came a shockingly mock innocent calling. I whipped my mind's eye to where I thought the familiar voice was coming from- where Jacob was staring with an understated vehemence, despite the fatigue and withdrawn look. I had to admire his unwavering stance as I leapt a little too enthusiastically over a falling branch.

Peering through the restricting shadows, as if coalescing the darkness stood the voluptuous femme fatale herself. The distorted darkness momentarily concealed her and through the trees, the bleeding slits of moonlight all but caressed her features, eliciting an ethereal glow. With fiery hair- a shocking contrast to her smooth, porcelain skin and full ruby-woo lips, her powerful electric eyes bore into Jake's.

She was Jessica Rabbit in-freaking-carnate.

Nearly uprooting a tree, I was momentarily amazed as I drank in her beauty. As if I didn't have enough reasons to loathe her enough, she had more curves on her than Daytona. Unable to help myself, I peered down despondently at my own comparatively smaller chest, which was now heaving and gasping desperately for air. I sighed, looking back up and swerved dramatically around another tree.

It would be clear to even a blind man that this temptress delivered constant enticement to whomever she came into contact with. Those poor, unsuspecting souls. She was simply breathtaking and I can only imagine a great stimulus to the male eye.

Nayha smiled slowly and exuded a teasing virtue, as she walked closer up to Jacob. So fluid were her motions, it was like she was dancing with gravity. With each careful, liquid movement, her hips persuaded more alluringly than ever, rocking so naturally from side to side. I'm not afraid to concede that if that stupefied me, I could only imagine what that actually did to guys.

All the while, she refused to take her eyes off of him. It irked me a little as I observed her. There was something majestic in the way she met and held his gaze, unwilling to let him go…

I didn't like it. Not one bit.

Jacob, I noticed with furtive approval, didn't look remotely interested however. His dark, dangerous eyes bore into hers, yes, but they were full of intense dislike, loathing and disgust for the stunning creature before him. For reasons unknown to me, this pleased me.

My attention was divided. With her slow, patient advances, he stepped back almost instinctually. The back of his foot, hitting a quiescent log lying on the ground. To my delight, he even looked mildly bored and unimpressed with her. The uncharacteristic bags under his eyes only added to the dangerous presence he radiated in that moment. His aversions didn't go unnoticed with her either it seemed. She smiled sadly. "Don't you want me anymore?"

I nearly tripped over an overgrown root._ What?_ He actually _wanted _her? _Since when?_

I didn't know how to feel about that. Actually, that's a lie. Inside, I was dark, dead and silent. I'll admit, whilst she was no Rosalie- _aunt Rose exuded class-_ there was no unquestionable doubt how startling her beauty truly was. And I really hated her.

Jacob laughed wrly, shaking his head. "N_ews flash-_ I've… never _wanted_ you." he explained, sounding somewhat disturbed, his brows too furrowed in slight confusion. I couldn't doubt the unwavering honesty that came with those words. Or was that more wishful thinking?

"Come now…it's been three years, Jacob. _Three years_, you've been wanting me…"

Wait. _What? _This time I _did_ trip, stumbling awkwardly over a fallen branch and landing face first into a pile of wet leaves._ Three years?_ I don't recall her ever being in Jake's life – period, let alone _three years?_ Quickly- _desperately,_ my mind searched for any clues- for any truth to her words.

And…_nothing._

I found nothing. The only memorable thing I recall occurring three years prior was me finally hitting full maturity. That was the year, I remember, when things went a little awry for me. The undeniable changes that took place within me, forced me into wanting to stay in Hanover _–away_ from Jake. I dusted myself off, aware of the uncomfortable stickiness- the wet dirt on Rosalie's T-shirt as I got up. It was an important decision I had made on my own. A difficult one. Stupid as it may sound to many, I just didn't want to ruin everything we had. A life time of friendship,_ destroyed_ because of a crush I couldn't let go? No. I wouldn't do that. I_ refused _to let that happen.

So that year altered everything. The way I perceived Jake, changed forever. So, whilst I realise I was some distance away from him physically, we visited all the time. I would've noticed if he had another girl in his life. I'll admit, silently, my heart would've been breaking, shattering into a million different, irreparable pieces, but I wouldn't've gotten in the way of him living his life. _In theory, _I wouldn't've gotten in the way.

So I would've noticed her.

Jacob shook his head vehemently. "That's not true. _No._ That's just- no."

I couldn't help smirking as I ducked into the shadows, avoiding the headlights of a passing truck. She observed him again, with an unmistakable hunger. I was quite disturbed. So disturbed in fact, it made my stomach churn and I felt physically sick. "Oh Jacob," she sighed reprovingly- indulgently even. Swallowing back the rising bile and repressing the compulsive need to hurl, I stifled an eye roll this time. The creepiness simply elicited a shudder that ran so cold, so deep through my spine, it was like a freight train on speed. "There's absolutely _nothing _wrong in wanting something you can't have. You're a man after all. A big, strong man with _needs…."_

My seemingly unwavering sprint faltered then. _Strange._ That thought had never occurred to me in my years of knowing Jake. Not once in all my life had I seen him with a girl. In my heart, I knew that child-me would most likely, _deliberately_ want to creep the poor chick out, enough for her to go away. Sharing Jacob would've been like sharing a limb. It just couldn't be done for little Nessie, despite how much she knew it was selfish. Showing them how I usually communicate- in my freaky silent way- was a harmless method for making girls disapear without actually hurting them or leaving any lasting damage to their pysche, I thought plausibly to myself.

"…Needs I can supply on demand." Nayha continued, biting her plump bottom lip this time, her eyes aflame.

Now my face crumpled in a mixture of quiet repugnance and incredulity. _Supply and Demand?_ Really? She was bringing principles of economics into this…this…was that really her flirting with him now?

_No, _I thought, _that wasn't flirting. That was something else entirely. _

"_Ew." _I replied out loud to nothing in particular. Actually- a lie- it was a passing Willow tree. "What _was_ that?" I shook my head laughing almost hysterically.

Jacob sighed, losing patience now as disdain washed over his expression. "That's just… I'm fine thanks."

She shook her head slowly- _enticingly._ "No, darling. You're really not."

Whilst a part of me wanted to rip her throat out for calling Jacob _darling,_ I was deeply uncomfortable by this new development brought so inadvertently to my attention. I'd say an ipod or my phone would equate to a great running friend- a perfect distraction to lose my thoughts to when I pushed myself that extra mile, but this was bizarre. I felt like I was eaves dropping, but on a whole new level. Indeed, this was exactly what this was, and now I couldn't switch it off. Because she spoke with such unwavering truth, that it hurt to think Jacob wasn't happy with his life. I observed now, as Jacob swallowed hard, biting back a horrendous growl.

It was then that I briefly wondered why he was holding back in the first place. And as abruptly as that thought entered my mind, realisation swept forward too. Of course I knew why: she was somehow stopping him. That was what she did.

"It's the most natural thing a man can do, Jacob." No guess, what she was referring to, "You shouldn't have to hide who you are for her…"

I tried to ignore the thwarting feeling of my gagging reflexes being strained once again and being tested to its limits, as I sprinted across, diving into my next left at west Lake Pleasant Road.

_Not long now,_ I thought tentatively to myself.

Jacob mirrored my prior feelings of disgust. "That's just…You're disgusting."

_Took the words right outta my mouth,_ I considered, silently smirking.

She smiled sweetly at that. "Disgusting?" She chuckled. "_Hardly."_ I appreciated Jacob supplying a wry sound to that and I couldn't help doing the same. She chose to ignore this however, and continued: "Frivolous, delectable and honest? _Yes."_ She sang.

And then I snorted, yet again, shaking my head at her sheer nerve.

"Whatever you say…" He shrugged. His words oozed nonchalance, but I could tell his patience was wearing thin.

"I do."

"Sure, sure."

Her lips threatened to curve again. "You like it when she tries to imitate you?"

Again, Jacob eyed her wearily. I didn't understand what she meant by that. Sure, sometimes even I responded with a simple 'sure, sure.' It got on Edward's nerves. "Why are you even doing this?" he asked.

"Doing what, Darling?"

"Twisting everything. Making what I feel for her into something it's not. Something sordid." He shrugged, a blaze attitude. "I mean, none of it's true, but I'm just curious. What's in it for you?"

She frowned then, sweeping a long strand of hair out of her eye. "I'm not _twisting _anything. I wouldn't do that to you. I _see_ it in you." She protested light-heartedly_. "And_ I thought what I got out of it was pretty clear actually, Mr. Black…"

My pacing faltered once more and I shuddered at that miserable innuendo. She was absurdly attractive, positively oozing sex appeal. Even her voice made whatever she said, seem like an innuendo.

Jacob shook his head, disagreeing. "That's the thing, though: You know _nothing _about me." He said, crossing his large arms across his exposed torso. "And I'm not gonna lie: What makes you even _think _I would want anything you had to offer? Everything about you makes my skin crawl."

"Now I know you don't mean that…"

Seething inside, I watched as her starving eyes unabashedly followed his simple movement like glue. Yes, I would imagine the way the casual motion carved out his protruding muscles even more, would make anyone momentarily distracted, but I just didn't like the way they lingered there, shamelessly ogling. Indeed, I couldn't help feeling a burning, conflagrated rage within me, scorching my inside so painfully. It occurred to me on the sidelines that I was one to talk, particularly when it came to wondering eyes, but I knew when to cut it out too. "R_eally,_ I do. I hate that you kill for sport. I hate that you think- that you _assume_- you can be anything like her when you couldn't be farther from the truth. I hate that you assume that apparently the cheap imitation's good enough for me."

A furrowed line appeared between her perfectly threaded brows. "I resent that." She interrupted, sounding mildly amused again.

He ignored her. "And I _hate_ that I can't phase and rip you into shreds right now." As if for added effect, Jacob slowly craned his neck from side to side, stretching out any kinks he may have. This was of course virtually impossible for him, as he didn't simply tire from standing. It occurred to me that this was just an unsubtle way of saying he was getting bored now.

"You're angry." It wasn't a question. More of an observation, granted with humour.

"Really? How can you tell?" He asked, voice thick with unrequited sarcasm. I tried not to laugh.

Again, she ignored his trademark play-along replies and instead, appeared to be lost in her own thoughts for a moment. "You asked earlier why I'm doing this, why I personally think you'd be a little curious as to what I had to offer…"

This should be good.

Instantly, all humour was drained from his features. Jacob ground his teeth, waiting- biding his time. His sharp, determined face was dangerously even despite everything and his mouth, wired carefully shut, squaring his jaws once more in decision.

"And to put it simply," she continued, feigning complete obliviousness to his fermenting hostility, "…a point I've reiterated for some time now: because I can make all your wishes come true…"

For the third time that night, Jacob made a sound that many would construe to be a laugh had there been any humour in it. And there really wasn't. It unnerved me slightly to see the understated resentment, the menace torrid beneath the surface. It was as if I could almost taste the antipathy in the air and honestly, it intimidated me.

"…every want, need, every desire, _every dream-_ I could give that to you. All of it."

Absolute disdain displayed in his eyes, "No. You really can't."

Suddenly, like Rosalie's channel hopping, Nayha's expression immediately changed into one of mock hurt. "But, Jake… I can gi

ve you everything. Don't you love me anymore?"

Jake bit his lips, trying not to snort. With strained amusement harbouring his tenor now, "I like how you still think you're actually her." He visibly shuddered, as if trying to wake up from an unsettling nightmare that was refusing to end. "You _really _need your head examined, lady…"

With scornful innocence, "Is it a crime to take something I want, Jacob?"

Jacob looked disturbed. "You really have to ask me that?" He asked disbelievingly. Again, I couldn't help laughing at his reaction. This- _Jacob's reaction to her advances,_ his general responses, they were certainly interesting for a totally impartial third party observer, like myself. Humouring her in an obviously superficial way, he then pretended to think about her question for a fixed moment. "Well, I don't know. _I suppose it is when you're killing people. _Murdering them for your own sick, twisted needs. It's part of the chase for you, isn't it? The game?" Slowly, he began to move around her, circling her. "Innocent men. Husbands. They had families. Kids. Did you even stop to think about that?"

She was quiet, her expression was unreadable. She was simply a blank canvas.

Jacob shook his head, a skewed smile tugged at his lips. "No. Of course you wouldn't." He continued. "I'd say you were a cold blooded killer, but you're dead. You don't have blood running through your veins. Just a killer, preying on those weaker then you. Nice."

"I need to feed, in order to survive –just like your precious little halfling."

He shook his head, his face once more reverting back to resentment. "No excuse. So don't even try to justify it. And she'd never-"

"I won't justify what I've done, but I'm willing to re-evaluate my way of…living. Reconsider how to go about everything…for you. I'd do that, for you." She interrupted.

He didn't know what to say to that. Really, _was_ there anything to say to that? "If you felt any remorse for what you did, you'd end your own life, because there's no way…_no way._ You're a killer. A monster. And the only reason you're still standing and I haven't done anything about it, is because you're stopping me."

She blinked. It would've been amusing, had the situation not been so very serious. "Ending my own life? For the sake of _humans?_ Don't be ridiculous, Jacob." She began laughing sweetly. She was completely choosing to ignore his concluding thought, his offering to kill her and I briefly considered that she was simply selecting things she wanted to hear. "They are lesser beings than us, Jacob. So basic, with only their mind-numbingly simplistic fight or flight responses. I won't display repentance for simply trying to survive." She replied, indignantly. "I will however, refrain from harming anymore. Well, I'll try. It's very difficult you know. It may take me centuries."

Jacob sighed, as if losing the patience to live now. He stared out at the black mass of lake. "Morph back so I can see your real face."

Darting through the trees, I was confused for a moment. Her _real _face?

She pretended not to hear him, "I've never met anyone quite like you, Jacob. All that love, the selflessness… it's unique and I've never really felt anything like it in a man." She idly mused. "The fact you deny me, is another matter entirely. Something I've never encountered before."

It was his turn to ignore her now. He exhaled noisily. "Change back. I don't want to have to look at her face when I'm killing you." He added, handily elaborating and instantly dissolving any earlier confusion I may've had over his previous request to regard her 'real face.' Because it came to me then, that she was clearly showing him what he wanted to see. Something he wanted most in this world, confusing his senses, his instinctual responses- him phasing. That would certainly explain why he was having a cosy chat rather than ripping her into tiny shards.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that and just say, don't play dumb, honey-bun. It really doesn't suit you." Not looking away from the motionless black tarn, Jacob laughed scornfully now. "See, that's something she doesn't appreciate about you. She just assumes she knows it all…"

My brows furrowed. Only now was I asking myself the most obvious question: Who on earth are they talking about? I was so engrossed with finding him, fraught with worry, that only now was I asking the obvious.

"You honestly think that's going to work?" Jacob laughed.

With my attention still split, I turned left once more, staying on the same road.

"Doesn't hurt to try…" she shrugged slowly- pleasantly, her glinting eyes an inferno inside.

"Look either kill me, or let me kill you. You're boring me now."

My stomach lurched uncomfortably with his annoying blasé attitude. His absolute willingness to just give himself up was unsettling. But then this was Jake all over: relaxed, unmoved and unconcerned for his own life.

"I love it when you get mad." She all but crooned and shudder of revulsion ran through me with her embarrassingly brazen efforts of flirting with Jacob.

He eyed her with exaggerated dubiousness, "Like everything about you, this makes_ absolute sense to me."_

She grinned, entirely delighted now. "Aw, you're trying to figure me out?"

He scratched his head, all the while shaking it in disbelief. "Sure." He nodded, the humouring blown up to new proportions now. "Of course I am._"_

"Oh, honey…" she clasped both her hands to her chest, in what I could only imagine to be pure joy. Jacob looked horrified. "Don't think I don't know. That I'm not aware of how you've been looking at me…"

"At _you?"_

She smiled sweetly.

Jacob laughed then. "Shit." He began, managing to equal the embellished, syrupy flavour in her own voice. "I knew you were crazy, but this is a whole new level of horseshit. You're twisting _everything_. You're twisting reality."

"Am I? But I see it inside of you-"

"Okay." Jake nodded again, interrupting her. "What does that_ even mean?"_ He asked this with a look of absolute scepticism.

She frowned. "Why are you being like this? I sense what you want. In fact, the intensity of it overwhelms me. Like I said before, it's what drew me to you in the first place…"

He opened his mouth to say something, but then immediately closed it. "What I want and what I have are pretty much the same things. Yeah, no- they _are_ the same things." He said, his voice unwavering. "I couldn't ask for more."

She grinned a brilliantly dazzling smile again, "Oh, but au contraire! What the Big Bad Wolf craves the most in this world, and what he has, are two very different things."

"No." He said adamantly, his expression uncompromising now. "And…_really?"_ His face crumpled, as if cringing, "_Big Bad Wolf?"_

She giggled indulgently at that. A sound that unquestionably made my skin crawl.

"It's not an issue for me. I'll be whatever she needs me to be." He continued, ignoring her, "Nothing more."

"But why wait for little Ren Riding Hood when you know you can have her now?"

_Ren Riding Hood?_

It didn't take a genius to work out exactly whom she was referring to here. Indeed, as I briefly thought about how I would never look at that story the same way again, strangely however, this didn't annoy me as much as I refused to be dubbed a fictional _kid._

She smirked, leaning against a tree now. "She may take another decade of even a century to understand- to grasp what you truly are. Why wait when I can give that to you now, if you'll just have me?" She began trailing a long, lucid finger down her neck, across a large swell of one boob and stopping at her hips.

_Pulling out the big guns, huh? Why stop there, hussy?_ I asked bitterly to myself.

He shuddered in what I hoped to be unmistakable revulsion. It sure looked it. "Lady, _hell _will freeze over before I poke you with a chest full of stake, let alone actually _touch _you."

I rejoiced, pirouetting over another fallen branch. Revulsion it is, then. And with that recognition, my heart simply swelled. I was _so_ proud of him.

"Oh, you tease. Are you worried she'll get jealous?" She quite literally sang the latter words in _delight._

"Considering she has nothing to be jealous over, I'm not even gonna go there." Jacob turned to leave -_to phase._

"Oh, I don't know about that…" Akin to listening into the distance, she cocked her smiling head to one side, relishing the night air. "I can hear them. And I can _see_ her through them."

Hm. Not for the first time in the past few days was I reminded of one of Claire's fairy tales. This time, Snow White came to mind. Who needed a reflective surface, when she had all the men in my life to spy me through? As bizarre of an analogy as it was, it held some truth to it, and that very fact disturbed me enough to want to abruptly shake it off as quickly as that thought had caught me off guard.

Thoroughly kicked in the teeth, Jacob froze and slowly weaved back round, all confidence in his expression, drained completely with her words. "What?" he asked, his voice indifferent -as if trying to sound unmoved.

Her sparkling eyes were once more boring into his and she smirked, realising the fresh panic in his eyes. "I can hear her coming." She sang in a whisper.

Jacob shook his head slowly, struggling to conceal the new worry now. "You're wrong. She's not even in Forks anymore…"

I bit my lip.

Coincidentally, Nayha too, bit her lip. Only, for her, it seemed to be an attempt to hide a precarious smirk. "Oh?" The sound and gesture made her already-protruding-lips, impossibly pout more.

Resembling denial, Jacob was unmoved and didn't say anything, absently blinking now.

_No!_

Everything about me was contradictory right now. I felt weak, and tired, yet my sight was sharper, I was more attentive. My unique reflexes faster, my inhuman muscles stronger, I silently prayed. I prayed he'd somehow get over this quickly. _Don't lose it now, Jake. I'm fine..._

Jacob stood still; his response was something I often saw in the psychiatric ward at the hospital. Similar to someone experiencing a breakdown, he was unfeeling and unresponsive to her words, his environment, to _his situation._ He was barely breathing, and a complete statue of dissent. _No, Jake. Snap out of it. She's bluffing._

"She's a stupid little girl…" She started, as if making a casual observation. And again, Jacob was unresponsive, simply frozen with what I could only assume to be shock. "Silly, stupid little girl who didn't listen to her father…"

Without a sound, without so much as looking up at her, his breathing hitched and his handsome face turned impossibly ashen in the stark night light. Only now did it occur to him that it was possible for me to be out here on my own, that I managed to slip out of the house going unnoticed.

"She's a silly, predictable child. Hasn't she read the stories? It never ends well."

With those words, Jacob's eyes finally whipped back up to glare at her then, his jaw, squared in decision.

She smiled slowly. "And you know what they say about lost little children in the woods?"

The implications of what she meant finally donned his troubled features and he swallowed hard, his cheeks blanched with fear.

"They can't find their way back home…"

* * *

_A/N- Don't Stop Believing- Glee Cast. (originally performed by Journey) ;)_

_This song, could be the reason why my writing –and hence- Nessie's thoughts are a little funny. I enjoyed writing her commentary on their convo. Again, it was so long, I had to split it into two more manageable segments. The best is yet to come, I think. :D_

_Just to clarify something that pinkpower brought to my attention. She asked me:_

'Are they actually talking in her mind or is Nessie a lunatic?'

_Out of absolute desperation, she imagined it. That was literally her subconscious giving her what she wanted in that moment. Hope that's cleared things up. Any questions, lemme know._

_Thankies to pinkie-poo. Her judgements, her ideas, her honesty- all of it- they're invaluable to me. She inspires me. So, ta, bud! ;)_

_And to you, the readers, to those who take the time to review- thank you. Your words of encouragement are just as invaluable to me. Lea, I hope you get this. :) _


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